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Just Said Yes September 2020

No Friends :(

Jessi, on August 4, 2018 at 11:27 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 24
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My fiance and I have no friends. None. We have an 11 year age gap. He's an introvert, I'm not, but all my friends disappeared after my breakup with my ex. We'll have no friends to stand up, attend stag party/ bachelorette party/ shower, or attend our wedding. It breaks my heart and makes me just want to wait but I don't know if we'll ever make friends to come. I guess I just want to know how you make friends? How you've met new friends, or rekindled old friendships and became close again. I'm just so sad about it. Really takes the fun out of wedding planning. I desperately want to get closer to people but don't know how Smiley sad help.

24 Comments

Latest activity by Nahnie2552, on May 9, 2020 at 5:31 PM
  • E
    Beginner October 2018
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag
    Maybe just invite family?
    • Reply
  • Gonnabeaburch
    Super July 2019
    Gonnabeaburch ·
    • Flag
    Neither of you have family to attend? My bridesmaids are 2 FSIL'S and my cousin. We have 60 invited guests and only have 4 couples that are friends met through work or childhood, everyone else is family (pretty immediate family, FH has a huge family). We aren't very social people either. If you don't have anyone to attend the wedding, why not elope somewhere beautiful and romantic. Enjoy each other, maybe even go straight into a honeymoon, and then when you come back try to meet some couples. Even if you are introverts you could host casual gatherings in your home like BBQ's or game nights and try to get to know some people. You could always have a big anniversary party or vowel renewal once you have more friends that you feel like sharing that with.
    • Reply
  • Morena Lizbeth
    Just Said Yes April 2019
    Morena Lizbeth ·
    • Flag
    That's a tough one. Making friends is so much easier when you're younger. You have the time and energy...to waste time and energy! As I've gotten older though, I've noticed that really making that effort to spend time with someone else helps tremendously. Maybe have a game night and invite co workers, plan plan a potluck at your home and invite neighbors, or strike up a conversation with another couple at a bar and make plans. If we want to make those connections however we need to be the ones to make the "first move" so to speak. A friendship can never start if someone never says that first hello. As for rekindling an old friendship. It could be just as simple as sending them a random message! That'll get the ball rolling for more conversation and future plans. All of that being said, the next step is to then keep doing the inviting and talking over and over again. Maintaining friendships is hard work! In the same way that you've put yourself out there with this post, do it with the people that are around you in real life. Being genuine and honest with someone can get you a long way. I hope this helps. If only a little.
    • Reply
  • A
    Expert January 2019
    Anakaren ·
    • Flag
    Hey 🤗...first of don’t feel bad at all secondly just because your inovert and have no friends that shouldn’t stop you from having a wedding , a bachorlette and bridal shower isn’t really necessary or required but if you like one you can if your mother or sibling can host one or maybe do it yourself and invite your mother and sibling along or just skip it , I have a sister who’s maid of honor I told her I didn’t want to have a bacholr or bridal shower and my excuse was because I didn’t want one but really I just didn’t want to put her through the hassle and it’s been stress free and I’ve been focus only on my wedding and let me say this sometimes it’s better not to have a bridal party it’s lesss drama and you really get to focus on you and your fiancé I had 9 bridesmaids and it’s gone down to 6 bc 3 of them decide they couldn’t be in it for personal reasons which was upsetting because I invested money in their gifts and other things but oh well their lost anyways my point is Just enjoy your wedding planning with your fiancé look at the positive you don’t have to waste money on bridesmaids proposal gifds or gifts to hand out on the wedding day you can use that money on extra stuff for the wedding now if you feel like th don’t want a wedding a courthouse wedding and a Romantic dinner would sounds perfect as well and a beautiful relaxing honeymoon remember to turn negative into positive and always see the bright things of every situation and if you need friends you can easily make them by joining a book club or painting class kicking boxing class any type of learning class easily talk to a classmate and exchange numbers ask to hangout and Have coffee or tea i hope my advice helps your not alone !! Good luck
    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy September 2020
    lm ·
    • Flag

    Elope and be happy with each other

    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy September 2018
    Kay ·
    • Flag
    I am also marrying an older man and some of my friends were pretty nasty about it even though he is a wonderful man. We are eloping to Vegas in three weeks and are going to make our day ours!
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master September 2018
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    Social media (instagram) helps to rekindle or even make new friends (people that know the same people you do) honestly my work has helped me make friends in my adult life. I lost friends because of a toxic relationship with my ex. I know how hard that can be. You gotta put yourself out there. Maybe take classes.. cooking, painting, etc. Find people with similar hobbies. FH doesnt really have any friends either. I have a close few but we are not doing a bridal party and i prefer it. I just want everyone to relax and enjoy themselves
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master September 2018
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    Dont forget you have the best friend in life you coukd possibly have, and you get to keep him forever 😄
    • Reply
  • C
    Dedicated September 2018
    Christine ·
    • Flag
    I moved across the country with my FH for his job, so I can somewhat relate. We have since moved home, thank the lord. But it is extremely hard to make friends as an adult. More so than I ever imagined. I'm not sure what your life allows as far as free time, but my best advice to you, and what I did when I desperately needed to make friends... get a part time job as a waitress, or if that's not your thing, as a cashier at your favorite store at the mall. It really will blow your mind how many people you'll meet just chatting, and you'll be making extra money while you make friends!
    • Reply
  • xRApril
    Expert May 2018
    xRApril ·
    • Flag
    All of my friends are work friends, except for 3! Two friends are people I met through a work friend. It can definitely be difficult to meet new people as an adult. I suggest maybe joining a gym, or even something like a bowling league to see if you can meet people that way! I’ve met people at concerts and became friends on Facebook with them too. My H has made quite a few friends playing games online. H and I work together, so we basically know all of the same people. If you have coworkers maybe you can host a cookout and invite some of them and get to know them outside of work?! My sister and her husband are 11 years apart. She has made friends with some of the wives of her husband’s coworkers.
    • Reply
  • tanakaseiron
    Dedicated May 2019
    tanakaseiron ·
    • Flag
    I understand it can be hard. I went to school all the way through college with my FH and we are both introverts, we made all our friends as kids and haven't made any since. I would suggest to try reaching out and getting to know coworkers maybe? Also try to get more involved in the community through a shared hobby. If your FH is a game he may enjoy going to game shops/trading card game nights or even conventions. Other community hobbies could include attending couples' cooking classes, art shows/paint and sips, or sporting events. Another option could be to try meeting people online. I don't recommend this, but it's always an option. I know it's hard to put yourself out there but that's the best chance of making friends vs. getting lucky and having extroverts reach out to you.
    Additionally, you should consider you want this moment in your life shared between new relationships and friendships. Consider opting for a more intimate ceremony which better reflects and focuses in on the both of you and your relationship. Wedding planning, parties, and hype did sound more fun with more people, but consider who you truly want to share it with as well. I hope this helps
    Best wishes
    • Reply
  • W
    Devoted August 2018
    WAR's.WIFEY ·
    • Flag
    My fiance an I have a 7 year age gap. I lost most of my friend when I became pregnant with my twins in high school, then I lost the rest except one after we lost one of our twins. I lost my last friend a few months ago because she passed away. My fiance doesnt really have any close friends either. So we opted into having a very small intimate wedding with us, our children and our parents. Then going out for dinner afterward. I love that we are doing this rather than inviting other family members(we both arent close with our families). I love how intimate our wedding is going to be. I wouldnt want it any other way.
    • Reply
  • Shannon
    Expert October 2017
    Shannon ·
    • Flag
    My husband and I really don't have any friends either. I have a few co-workers that I'm somewhat friends with but not super close and we only see each other outside of work a few times a year. He has one friend that he's been friends with forever but he's a few hours away so we never see him. So I understand how it can be hard planning a wedding. We actually decided to have a really small wedding because we actually laughed about who would we invite to a big wedding. We had only 4 guests and it was perfect for us.
    • Reply
  • P.F.
    Super May 2018
    P.F. ·
    • Flag
    I didn't have friends at my bachelorette party, just family. We had an absolute blast! But we're all really close so Idk if that works for you or not.
    As far as how to make friends as an adult, I'm still trying to figure that one out. My post college friends were made at work. Now they're all gone and I'm at a new job with people I like but am not likely to befriend outside of work. Idk how you go about making new ones.
    • Reply
  • Noel
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Noel ·
    • Flag
    You could invite family and family's friends, coworkers and past coworkers, friends from high school and college, people you go to or went to church with, and any groups or teams you're apart of
    • Reply
  • M.M.
    Devoted December 2018
    M.M. ·
    • Flag
    You can elope to an exotic place and when you come back begin to interact with groups of your hobbies. Bowling teams, a class at a community college for non credits, card games, church groups etc... Start small, it allows for him to start getting use to different kinds of people.
    • Reply
  • L
    Devoted June 2019
    LaShonda ·
    • Flag
    U make friends by being urself. Try to go to places you like and start with a simple hello or compliment and a smile or ask for help finding an item. If ur friends left, then they weren't ur true friends to begin with. Better to have no friends than a bunch of fake friends. Besides u have ur life partner and that's ur best friend then u domt need anyone else present for no matter how big or small ur ceremony is. Just less headaches 2 deal with. U have the perfect opportunity to do a getaway cruise marriage with the whole honeymoon all inclusive.. go 4 it!
    • Reply
  • Mrs.Bee
    Super August 2018
    Mrs.Bee ·
    • Flag
    I have a hard time making friends too, but it can be done. Join a group hobby type thing you like. Bowling league, church, sometibg you both like that offers interaction with others. IF YOU WANT THAT. but dont let that stop you from getting married. It takes time to build a friendship enough for someone to do all of those nice but unnecessary wedding things like bachelorette party. Focus on your love. Less guests equals more to spend on honeymoon!!! Good luck and congratulations on your special day!
    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated July 2018
    Mandy ·
    • Flag
    I am the type who has a few really close friends. I don’t love acquaintances as I see them as fake and on the surface - mind you I realized you can turn them into friends if you want to in time. I’m not the I have a million friends type. I don’t have the time for it and I see value in a few close people. My fiancé has a harder time connecting to people than I do. He also moved to a city that is hard to connect to people to unless you grew up in it. So - he didn’t have a ton of friends either. You’re not alone or weird . It’s hard to make friends in adulthood and it takes time! Honestly the last good friendship I made was in my early 20s and I’m 34 now.

    We we decided to throw a small wedding with family and I invited one really close friend. It worked out amazingly. We had 16 guests! I’m wouldn’t have changed it and don’t regret doing it that way! It also saved us a ton of money too.
    • Reply
  • Ashleigh
    Beginner September 2020
    Ashleigh ·
    • Flag
    Currently in the same position. Both my fiancé and I are introverts but he’s kept friends over the years where as my friends have left me after other people walked out of my life and events happened. We are currently looking at a venue but I just feel weird not having any friends there and he wants to invite 6 friends and their wives. I’m also choosing not to invite one 75% of my family for personal reasons. In total we would have 22 people at our wedding and I’m just trying to figure out if people are going to talk about me behind my back. It’s scary. I don’t really get along with his friends wives either. Well I get along with 1, and 1 is coming along. I just met her. And I want him to invite his friends so that I can have my sister sister-in-law three nieces all stand up next to me with my brother-in-law‘s both standing up next to him. I just don’t want some of the women to talk about it like I have no friends.
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