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Just Said Yes September 2022

No Dog Allowed?

Melonie, on April 7, 2022 at 11:28 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12

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My fiancé and I decided to have our small wedding ceremony and reception at a vacation home rental. The home rental we picked is dog friendly and we intended to bring ours.
My dad and stepmom have reserved the vacation rental although we insisted that we would cover that cost.
My step-sister brings her dog to all family events. Last thanksgiving we brought our dogs to my dads house. All went well between theirs and mine, until my step-sisters dog showed up. My newest pup and her 4yo dog got into it. She was no where to be seen and didn’t help grab her dog when my fiancé was trying to separate them. The remainder of the night, I kept my dogs crated and in separate room to prevent any further issues. Would it be right for me to request my step-sister to not bring her dog out of state to my wedding? I am assuming she will be staying at the vacation rental. My fiancé and I will not have the mental capacity to keep an eye on the dogs while setting up and enjoying our wedding. I know that she is not responsible to keep an eye on her dog. I’m also considering giving her the option to keep him in a separate room away from my dogs if she feels the need to bring him. I’m afraid I have waived my “authority” to call the shots because my parents are paying for the vacation home/venue.

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12 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on April 9, 2022 at 8:06 PM

Devoted August 2022
Emily · on April 7, 2022 at 11:46 AM
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I think it is kind of hypocritical to let yourself bring a dog and not hers. I feel like she would not be happy that she was told to not bring her dog when you did bring your dog. Does she have to stay in the rental or can she find somewhere else to keep the dog?
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Just Said Yes September 2022
Melonie · on April 7, 2022 at 11:58 AM
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I agree with your stance, which is why I am considering putting down the boundary of keeping her dog separated in a room. She has 100% freedom to stay where she wants, I just think she’ll most likely stay in the rental because she doesn’t make much money and may not be able to afford a place.

If she was responsible and maintained supervision over her dog, I wouldn’t feel the need to even go this route. But she is “lazy and useless” according to my fiancé.
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Master October 2023
Cece · on April 7, 2022 at 12:28 PM
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I don’t think I would forbid her from bringing the dog. However, I think it is reasonable of you to request she keep her dogs separated from yours if she stays at the same rental.
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Savvy November 2022
Nay · on April 7, 2022 at 12:43 PM
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I would definitely forbid the dog. Dont even tell her other dogs are coming, just say no dogs allowed. What can she really do?
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Super September 2022
Sarah · on April 7, 2022 at 1:11 PM
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Have your dogs been together since that interaction? And was that the first time they met? Sometimes a first meeting doesn’t go quite well so you just need to introduce them more. That was the same with mine and my brothers dog but now they’re great together! Maybe try interacting them a couple of times before the trip and see how they behave.
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Just Said Yes September 2022
Melonie · on April 7, 2022 at 1:17 PM
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Following dog training pages, I would totally go this route if I could. She and her dogs are in Florida and we’re in NC, so there are no other opportunities for another introduction. If this next meeting was not my wedding, I would give it another shot. But I can’t afford the risk of it going south again
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Super October 2022
Jessi · on April 7, 2022 at 1:37 PM
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Does she always take her dogs out of state with her, or does she have a kennel/dog sitter backup? If she has a backup then it's not bad to request that she doesn't bring them. Another thing to consider is if all of the dogs are okay with being locked in a room/having another dog locked in a room in the same house as them. Sometimes just knowing that something is in the same house that my dogs can't actively watch and see will set them off and make them anxious all day.
As someone whose life revolves around anxious, reactive dogs, I don't think it's bad of you to put your dogs first on your wedding day and ask her not to bring her dogs. What happens if someone doesn't close the door tight enough and the dogs are able to get out while you're gone?
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VIP October 2022
Taylor · on April 7, 2022 at 2:28 PM
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It’s not like it’s a family vacation where you’re bringing your dog and telling her not to bring hers. It’s your wedding. We’re not debating on if a human gets invited. So tell her to keep her dog home🤷🏻‍♀️
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Just Said Yes September 2022
Melonie · on April 7, 2022 at 3:01 PM
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There’s been two out of state trips we’ve been on, and she has always brought her dog. We usually have someone watch ours, but considering a weeklong honeymoon as well, we want to use our dog sitting resources for that time. She lives with her husbands parents, so she does have them as an option to watch the dog. I’m not sure what to expect for the anxiety aspect but there is a mother-in-law suite on the property to use as a way to keep them all separated. Right? The last thing we need is to find a emergency vet in a remote location because someone slipped through the cracks!
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Just Said Yes September 2022
Melonie · on April 7, 2022 at 3:03 PM
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Leave it to her mother (my step-mom) to coin my wedding as a mini family vacation 🙄 I’ve been making sure to stress this is my weekend wedding. I appreciate your input about it. I just hate to be the bearer of bad news or disappoint someone
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on April 7, 2022 at 10:19 PM
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If your parents are paying I don’t think you can call the shots. If they are covering the cost of the venue they’ll have the right to ok the dog being there.
Doesn’t sound like you’re close to her if you’re calling her “lazy and useless” though. Would it be better for you guys to get your own accommodation?
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Devoted April 2022
Amanda · on April 9, 2022 at 8:06 PM
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Tell her to keep the dog home.
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