No Cocktail Hour and a gap

I think you need to add a cocktail hour and this is something you should have budgeted for from the beginning. If I was coming from an hour away I probably wouldn’t stay the night and would likely choose to skip the ceremony if I knew there was a gap.

I told my daughter that she had to make the adult decision of picking two- evening reception (so not being able to take pictures after the reception), waiting to see each other, having a long photo shoot (more than one hour). They chose the evening reception and long photo shoot pre ceremony (and then made a stop on the way to the reception during cocktail hour).

Gaps are rude. Asking your guests to wait around is rude. Don't be rude, pick two

A 2 1/2 hour gap is unacceptable without providing some activity and a cocktail hour to take up the time. You need to make the ceremony later or the reception much earlier. Do you really expect your guests to leave their homes at 1pm and not be fed anything until 7pm? It is very likely people will skip the ceremony and just come to the reception. The cocktail hour is the time you spend taking pictures if you don't want to see each other beforehand. Even so, 2 1/2 hours is way too long even if you were having a cocktail hour.

I'd add cocktail hour. Guests comfort should be equal in importance to your photo taking time, especially if they are travelling for this day. Can the reception start and end sooner? Take as many family and bridal party photos as you can before the wedding (without seeing each other) to save time, ceremony at 3 (is your ceremony really an hour long?)...if it is, done by 4, family photos until 4:15, travel 15 minutes and take your photos until 5:00 (about 30 minutes), arrive at the venue at 5:15, do your entrances and dinner can start by 5:30. I'd have cocktail hour from 4:30-5:30 then end the reception at 9:00. This gives you plenty of time to have a great time with friends and family, skip the first look, while still accommodating those you asked to be there.

I went to a wedding recently that had a two hour gap and all it did was make me spend a ton of money in an expensive area trying to fill up my time. I’d definitely do some sort of cocktail hour or plan an activity for them to do. 2.5 hours is a long time to kill.

I’ve seen this done and while it was frustrating it worked. They provided a list of local restaurants and we went and grabbed snacks and cocktails there and then headed to the reception. However every guest, including my very accommodating parents, complained about it. (Especially because we had just sat through a full catholic wedding and were starving). I think you should reconsider where you are doing your photos to save time and move everything up. I am also having a 3pm winter wedding, and we are doing all of our photos on site instead of traveling so that we can be done by 5pm and have dinner served by 5:30 at the latest. We also did heavy appetizers and an open bar for cocktail hour. I totally get your dilemma, I’m very anti first look and also having a winter wedding, and you can choose to do what you want. Just know that many guests won’t go home after the ceremony, they just won’t come to the ceremony and will only show up to the reception. And you may hear some griping from people. Ultimately you can do what’s best for you, but be aware of the downfalls of the inconvenience it places on your guests.

Realistically, if a reception starts at 7, it’s at least 7:30 before dinner is served. That’s really late for a 3:00 ceremony.

There really shouldn’t be a gap beyond travel time from ceremony to reception venue. I would work on seeing if you can get into the reception area with an earlier time frame and adding a basic cocktail hour to fill this time!

Definitely too large of a gap. If you cannot afford a cocktail hour for your guests then you have to seriously reconsider doing a first look and doing your photos before the ceremony and moving your ceremony to a later time that is closer to your reception time.

I went to a wedding that did a big gap. I had driven 3 hours to get there and was really unhappy with the gap and the fact that I had to go spend money and eat fast food in a fancy dress while I waited for the reception.

If you don't want to budge on your plan then unfortunately you run the risk of people skipping either the ceremony or reception. Consider the first look idea some more. It will cost you no money compared to adding a cocktail hour and I've never heard of anyone who regretted doing one.

At the very least, make sure your guests know. The only wedding I declined attending had this and it was in a pretty expensive city that I had to travel to.

Definitely too long. I would find a way to budget for a cocktail hour.

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Totally agree with this.

Could you only do pictures in one place, instead of two? So they go by quicker? Or could you host something in between, maybe a cocktail hour at another place nearby?

That's way too large of a gap, in my opinion. I had a close friend tell me about a wedding she went to where they had a two hour gap and everyone went to the bar and were, for lack of better words, a hot mess come reception time. Just something to keep in mind...

Thanks everyone for your input! We are gonna try to do some time moving or cocktail budgeting tonight!