Marilyn
Savvy October 2020

No Bridesmaids but Want to Name My Girls "honorary Bridesmaids"

Marilyn, on August 19, 2019 at 12:05 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10
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I need advice on how I want to structure my "bridal party." I would love for my closest girlfriends to truly enjoy my wedding with no responsibilities. Also, I feel like I'm already asking for a lot from them with my Destination Wedding (as far as finances). I do still want my girls to get ready with me for a fun time & photo ops. I've been struggling with how to frame this to them in a cute way. They're coming with me to go wedding dress shopping & I want to share my appreciation of their friendship in a cute way (boxes full of goodies, hand written card of appreciation, etc..)

1. Do you guys see any flaws in this? Would anyone be offended if they were offered this?

2. If no, any ideas on titles besides "honorary bridesmaids"?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Caitlin, on August 19, 2019 at 6:56 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    Just make them bridesmaids. I don't really see the difference. They don't have any responsibilities toward your wedding whether you call them bridesmaids or "honorary" bridesmaids. The way I see it, you're either in the bridal party or you're not.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I would just make them bridesmaids and make it easy, tell them to skip a bridal shower & bachelorette, give them a color and let them find their own dress, let them pick their own shoes & jewelry.

    • Reply
  • Marilyn
    Savvy October 2020
    Marilyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Makes sense. We’re not having a bridal party stand beside us but I can just pitch the chill bridesmaid role. Thank you!
    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    Having them as bridesmaids is a great decision!

    • Reply
  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Wait, you are having them be bridesmaids but not stand up there with you? I am confused. Unless they are standing with you, they are guests. Please don't get hung up on titles. You can express to them how much your friendship has meant to you without making them bridesmaids.

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  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    Also, they can still get ready with you and take photos without being called anything. I would just invite them to do those things with you. You don't need to call them anything. I would feel very odd being called an "honorary BM".

    • Reply
  • Marilyn
    Savvy October 2020
    Marilyn ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Thanks! Exactly what I needed to hear!
    • Reply
  • J
    Master October 2019
    Jolie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree with this. Don't over complicate it. Just ask them if they'd like to get ready with you but they're just normal guests without a title. You just want them to be there for you as friends, without all the responsibilities of a bridesmaid.

    • Reply
  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
    • Flag
    I’m in a similar situation, we are also having a destination wedding and decided not to have a bridal party. However, my two best friends from childhood decided they were going to be my unofficial bridesmaids. They respect that I don’t want a bridal party or a shower, but still want to be involved. They came dress shopping and give me opinions when asked. But I don’t see why you need to name your friends honorary bridesmaids or anything else. If you want them to be there for dress shopping or pictures, just ask them to be there. I’m sure they would love to share your wedding experiences with you, even without having to spend a ton of money on a dress they’ll never wear again!
    • Reply
  • Caitlin
    Devoted June 2021
    Caitlin ·
    • Flag
    Just make them bridesmaids! It’s up to you how much responsibility you want/don’t want them to have.
    • Reply

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