"no Boxed Gifts" Etiquette

You don’t mention gifts on the invitation. Spread this info by word of mouth.

Most will say not to have a registry, and they will just know to give you money, I say if you really don't want boxed gifts just put it on an insert, and say, we are moving our home and would love it if we could keep our packing light. Thanks for not sending us any boxed gifts.

Good etiquette has not changed. You don't mention gifts on an invitation (or on an insert), no matter what the circumstances. Won't the people nearest and dearest to you know that you are moving after the wedding?

Good etiquette hasn’t changed. It’s still super rude to mention anything about gifts, especially about what type of gifts. It can be spread word of mouth easily like PP said. Don’t create a registry,’people will take the hint and bring cash or a check.

Agree with Muriel and FME. Tacky to talk about gifts on invite, also tacky to ask for money.

I had friends who were in the process of moving in the months before their wedding last year, and they had this note on the registry:

If you would like to buy us a gift, please choose from our carefully crafted list. We still live in a small apartment so space in our home is limited. Thank you for thinking of us!

Their registry was through Zola, which if I remember correctly, allowed them to decide when things got shipped to their home once they were purchased.

View Quoted Comment Hey, the people closest to me are aware. However not the whole wedding Party.

I mean its going to be mentioned, somehow whether insert or small note w/ the invitation, because since we are moving, we can't really take more with us.

So I should ask, have you seen it worded anyway in an insert or anywhere?

View Quoted Comment Ahhhh thanks!

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No, I haven't seen it because it's rude to mention gifts in any way in connection with an invitation. You simply don't invite people to any occasion and then add "by the way, this is what we want you to do about a gift". That is implying that you expect gifts.

If you do have a website, you could mention on there that you have not created a registry because you do not have the ability to transport gifts to your new home.

If you know it's rude and are going to do it anyway, I'm totally ok with that.

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There were plenty of people that had it in an insert and I didn't take it as tacky or rude. It's helpful to know what the bride/groom prefers. And yes, you do not ever go to an event like that empty handed. And every wedding I went to, actually had it listed whether or not, it was preferred boxed or no boxed gifts. But couldn't remember how it was worded and didn't save any of those invitations for reference.

And I didn't know you had to "totally be okay" with anything, but thanks for your opinion anyway muriel.

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I don't know about your Mom, but I recall mine saying many times "Just because someone else does it, doesn't make it right"

And contrary to your statement, the proper thing to do is to always go to a wedding empty handed. A thoughtful guest has their gift delivered ahead of the wedding so the couple and their families do not have to worry about the safety and security of the wedding gifts.

Putting a simple message about not having a registry and the reason why is an easy way to communicate what the bride and groom prefer.

Some people ask questions because they really don't know the right thing to do.

If they know the proper etiquette and make a conscious decision to be rude, then it's on them.

As aforementioned, thanks for your *opinion* Muriel and apparently the recollection of what your mom once told you. I appreciate it.

I attended a wedding a few years ago that asked for no boxes gifts, I thought their approach was eloquent. They did not state no boxed gifts on their invites but did include their wedding website (I think these days people know to go straight to the website for a registry.) Under the registry tab it stated: "Your presence at our wedding is all that we wish for. However, if you want to give a gift, please no boxed gifts."

Know, they DID still receive a few "boxed gifts" so would still encourage WOM regarding your move because some people simply do not want to give cash gifts. Additionally, I have heard that ZOLA (and registering for specific things like "Dinner for Two" or "Honeymoon Skydiving") helps people get over the "tacky" part of cash gifts because they feel they are contributing to something special.

*Note, I do NOT think it is tacky these days to ask for cash gifts. The reality is that couples today live together for YEARS prior to getting married and therefore own much of the traditional registry items already ... the traditional approach to gifts is no longer practical.

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I appreciate your response !! Thank you SO much =)

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I got by this 100%! This actually REALLY helped me. Thank you so much!

Very rude to ask for gifts. Gifts of any kind.

Register if you like, but don't include your registry information other than with your shower invitations and maybe your wedding website.

I think it is absolutely fine to mentioned "Non-Boxed Gifts would be appreciated"

I find registries pointless as I've lived with my boyfriend for over 5 years and have basically everything we would need for our home.

What's tacky is people showing up to weddings not bearing gifts or complaining about being required to bring one. I think it is EXPECTED for guests to come with a gift, under this assumption, why are people still offended? If you can't afford it or is offended by the notion then don't attend. I always give cash to all the weddings I've been to. It is the most flexible and accommodating gift I personally feel I can give the bride and groom.