No Bachelorette Party

1. Your matron of honor is hosting the stock the bar party - she should be providing food. Unless in some twisted way, you asked her to host it.

2. MOH and BMs aren't required to plan a bachelorette for you. It is a nice gesture but some people don't have time, money, babysitters, etc. to do that. It doesn't mean they're not supportive. A good friend's BM had to back out of her bachelorette because the BMs were all spending almost $1000 and she couldn't afford it. The bride wasn't mad; it doesn't make the BM supportive.

3. If you need to request multiple days off work, it sounds like you're expecting a destination/overnight bachelorette. These are expensive and unnecessary and again, some people just can't do this.

4. If his family never offered to host the rehearsal dinner, that shouldn't be a problem. No one, not even family, should be expected to pay for any part of YOUR wedding unless they graciously offer. If they backed out after originally offering, then that's a different story. In that case, if you can't afford a rehearsal dinner, skip the rehearsal and save on the dinner. It's not that hard to walk down the aisle. Alternatively, have a pizza night. It's inexpensive and lowkey.

Ok, take two. I've read through OPs responses and things are better than I thought. OP, thanks for the slow clap.

1. Sorry your friends suck. Make sure you are respecting their time and their budget with your wedding choices. There is still time for them to turn things around.

2. Sounds like the MOH has her hands full with the stock the bar party. So that may be why the bachelorette isn't happening. Do you have another friend in the bridal party that you can ask to get her a hand, financially or organizationally?

3. Cancel the rehearsal. If the groom's family said they would host and now won't/can't, just take out the wedding party the night before. Keep it simple.

4. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Aww dude, did you really have to mention a stock the bar party? You know you're going to get ripped apart for that. Frankly, if you're having a party where your guests buy you wedding alcohol, the least you can do is pay for the food. And yes, you should be prepared to pay ALL your wedding expenses, unless someone hands you cash or check to cover something. Edit: reading the last comment, I have to apologize OP. It sucks that you're in laws offered to host and then backed out.

MsMac, you should probably read the comments.

I agree with everything @MDEasternShoreBride said!

Read the comments Ms.

Okay, one by one.

If your MOH is hosting a stock the bar party, she should pay for food. If she won't, then cancel it and buy your own liquor. You'll probably come out ahead....

If your family won't throw a rehearsal dinner, then cancel the rehearsal. Literally no one needs one, a dinner or a rehearsal. (Another lesson in "if you don't have the check, don't spend the money"...)

If they won't have a bachelorette for you....well...you don't have one. With as out of control they've gotten, it's time and money that many people don't have.

Enjoy what IS happening, and don't make your enjoyment dependent on what anyone else does for you.

You might still be having a bachelorette party. They could just be planning it for your day off. You only need one night to have some drinks (or do another activity)or whatever.

It sucks if people offered to host stuff but they are backing out on providing food. That's not cool.

Yes! Originally the MOH stated that she would do the venue , food and favors. My maid would do the decor, prizes and my bachelorette. With the rehearsal dinner it was told to me on July 8th by FIL that he would foot the bill for the rehearsal. My FH asks me last night if I had decided on food yet. I said I sent your dad 3 options. Spoke with my FIL this morning he states that everyone should fit they're own bill. At this point I'm just simply trying to sort through all this madness. My phone seems to be ringing every hr with questions or excuses. I really wanted to have a rehearsal dinner due to my BP Having to get off so early. Our rehearsal has to be before 4pm the Friday before. I believe we may just take the pizza route.

You need to expect nothing from nobody... then there is no disappoint!!

As far as the bachelorette party goes, I know how you feel. My bridesmaids have asked about it several times but nobody has done any planning. So I figured I'd just do it, and pay for it since I really want one. You get married once, if you want one then go for it! BUT, the only catch to that is that you shouldn't throw a "yay let's celebrate me" party because that can definitely be tacky. Just plan a get together with your girls and go out for a fun night of whatever you want to do! Don't expect them to pay for it but if you want to go out then you should!

Ditto.... I'm one month away and wish I could go back and if elope!

I think Pinterest, media, and the internet in general give us this idea of wonderful things happening for us. That's where the expectations come in.

I've been feeling some of it, but I try to remind myself that the wedding is about marrying FH.

The pizza route is just fine. You don't need a rehearsal the day before. Everything you need to know will be explained to you by an event manager or DOC the day before (and even with questions, it will take all of 9 minutes). The RD has become customary, but it certainly isn't necessary.

I'm not terribly traditional about all this wedding stuff or anything else in my life, but I don't have a BP to host a bachelorette party for me. I think if I decide to have a party I will invite people myself. No need for anyone to spend money or travel. Just spend a last night with my ladies as a single woman! If you want a party have one!

Pizza is perfect.

Just tell FIL "I'm not allowing my guests to pay for a dinner I'm inviting them to. If you have changed your mind about picking up the bill that is fine, but please let me know so we can plan for this."

I'm sorry your friends are not throwing you a bachelorette party. I know they are not mandatory but it's nice to feel the love from your friends. Especially when the wedding stress is high and you really need a night of drinks and laughter.

Take a deep breath and do t let people bother you. Good luck!

I think you're losing sight of the real reason of the whole deal, and you're not alone. This is not about bachelorettes, rehearsal dinners, or stocking the bar. They are not ways for your families or your friends to prove their love for you. And they're not even necessary. And the lack of anyone planning or paying for all this auxiliary stuff shouldn't be making you sorry about not eloping unless that is what you had in mind in the first place.

Real life is rarely like pinterest, SMP or any other peddler of wedding fantasy. Other people's lives are busy and expensive and I think that other people who AREN'T planning a wedding don't really have a firm grip on just how much could possibly be expected from them.

My bridesmaids aren't throwing me a bachelorette but they're definitely being supportive. They listen to me vent and also listen to me when I'm just excited about something wedding related. Supporting someone doesn't mean they throw parties for you and throw money your way. (although judging by the amount of, my bridesmaids suck. Nobody is throwing me (insert optional pre wedding party here, posts on here lately you'd think that support equals spend money on me)

Being a MOH can be ALOT of work, especially when your trying to keep the bride happy and plan a party she will never forget!

If any brides have MOH's who may be overwhelmed feel free to contact us and we are happy to help make sure you ALL have the best time and are as stress free as possible

Congrats to all the future brides!

www.chicagobacheloretteplanners.com