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Emily
Dedicated November 2019

No alcohol

Emily, on May 16, 2019 at 1:30 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 10

I have a family member who is an alcoholic and I don't want him to act crazy like he does when he drinks. Plus my fiance and I don't drink. We aren't allowed to have any alcohol at the reception venue unless we fill out paper work and pay extra money. I don't want my parents to have to pay extra money but he says he is going to sneak it into the reception what should i do?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Eamsee, on May 17, 2019 at 3:39 AM
  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
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    If you’re not allowed to have alcohol at the reception are there people who are monitoring this? If someone is checking people then it can be removed from your uncle or he can be asked to leave. Honestly if it was me and he is an alcoholic I would tell him not to come if he is going to make it about his addiction. I’ve dealt with so much addiction in my family I’m over it, and you should not have to be worried about that on your big day.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I don't think having one alcoholic family member is a good enough reason to prevent your other adults guests from enjoying themselves. I would strongly reconsider allowing alcohol for your guests and hiring security to keep an eye on your uncle or any other out of hand guests.

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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I agree with pp. I'd tell him (or have FH do it if it's his relative) one last time that due to your preferences and the venue's rules, there will be NO alcohol at your wedding and that if he or anyone else brings any they will immediately be escorted out by security. I'd also tell him that if he can't commit to coming without alcohol, then please just do not attend and you are rescinding his invitation. If your venue doesn't already have someone who will enforce the rules, then you may need to hire a security officer who knows what's up and is prepared to block this person from attending. It will cost you, but likely less than the venue charges for alcohol and will help give you peace of mind. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Smiley heart

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I would make it very clear on your invitations/details cards that no alcohol will be served and that it is not allowed on premise. I’d also possibly warn whoever is in charge at the venue about this particular relative. Then at that point, it is out of your hands, so just let it go. If he’s going to sneak it in, then he’ll be the one to get in trouble... you can’t actually stop him from doing it beyond telling him not to and warning that there will be consequences. Let the venue handle the consequences for him.

    Different situation, but similarly for me, our venue is very strict about not allowing underage drinking (obviously). So part of our contract just says that we have to provide reasonable attempts to prevent underage drinking. Meaning, when we send our venue the final headcount and seating chart, we have to also include “John Doe at table 6 is underage.” But, can we stop John Doe’s father from buying a drink at the bar, and giving it to nineteen year old John Doe? Absolutely not... as bride and groom we cannot be expected to monitor every single guest. As long as we’ve provided reasonable attempts to stop it (notifying them of who shouldn’t be drinking) at that point it would be on the catering staff to see John Doe with a beer and stop him from drinking it.
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    I have the same problem. We are having a dry wedding and have told our alcoholics they will be uninvited or removed if they sneak it in. Sometimes you have to set a hard boundry, because you only have one problem person it should be easier to address, good luck.
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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    People never cease to amaze me. If it's a non drinking event and he would like to drink, why doesn't he just go to a bar. If you don't want to have alcohol at your wedding, that's your prerogative. I would tell him like PPs have said, there will be no alcohol and no tolerance for disrespecting your wishes.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    I totally agree with this. OP, there's something else to consider. I have some friends who got married at a venue that didn't allow alcohol. It was ok, because they planned a dry wedding anyway. But they had guests who didn't care for that rule, and attempted to sneak alcohol into the reception. The couple was slapped with a huge fine, and the venue threatened to shut down their whole event (the alcohol was discovered early on), and the offenders were kicked out immediately. It was costly and embarrassing for the couple. Everyone else behaved and respected the rules of the venue. But their whole reception almost got cancelled because of a few rude guests. You don't want that to happen. Tell your family member that there will be no exceptions to this rule!! If he/she wants to get drunk, they can do it somewhere else!

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  • October2019
    Dedicated October 2019
    October2019 ·
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    It should be fine. We aren't have alcohol. People who love you will come even if there is no alcohol and you can save big!
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  • Haley
    Dedicated August 2019
    Haley ·
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    My dad is doing the SAME THING! It's incredibly aggravating. Unfortunately, as horrible as it sounds, if he brings alcohol I will kick him out. I am not going to have him ruin my day or get me in trouble with the venue. He will have a choice to either dispose of it or leave. I know it's not always that simple, though. Smiley sad

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  • Eamsee
    Super June 2019
    Eamsee ·
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    I agree with this. Many venues have in the contract a fee breakdown of any and all costs. For an event that serves alcohol where I am located, you need a temporary liquor license. It's around $150, but without that there would be a major problem. Putting the alcoholism and social aspects aside, I would mostly be concerned about the possible legal ramifications of guests bringing in alcohol. I would definitely add an insert with the invitation stating that the venue has a strict no alcohol policy. At the very least, if you have a wedding website, put the information on there. It is very common for people to bring a flask if they know the wedding is dry, so just make sure to cover yourself. Like Cristy said, there could be the chance they shut your wedding down if they find alcohol on some ones person because it may not just be a venue violation, but a legal one.

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