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Kate
Just Said Yes September 2024

Nitpicking my photos

Kate, on September 27, 2024 at 4:58 AM Posted in Hair and Makeup 0 3
It's important I say from the start what an absolutely stunning day I had on my big day, I felt so beautiful and had such fun and felt incredibly present and not like it went too fast at all. The only stress was in the morning, I was meant to go third from last for makeup but my fiancé (now husband!) had organised a gift delivery that my maid of honour said she would recommend not having my makeup done before (big emotional impact!) And it was delayed so I ended up letting others go before me and then having a stressful hour of makeup, getting ready shots, into the dress etc. After that though it all went wonderfully.


When I got our sneak peek photos back I LOVED them right off the bat. I spent two days staring at them, so happy. Then one moment I just realised there was something off about me - my sideburns hair was more noticeable than I have ever seen before. I'd never even had that as an insecurity!
Suddenly, it was all I could see. Obsessed then over every photo, over photos of other girls to see if they have them, over anyone on the tv or in real life was checking out if they had this and if it was normal. Kicking myself for not doing something about them beforehand.
Eventually, I realised it's normal (not everyone has it but many do) and saw my photos as beautiful again.
Until. I realised in some of them, my ear is slightly poking out from my hair in an unplanned way and I realised I'd tightened my hairclips unintentionally and threw it off.
Guys. This is just the start of it. I've been married two weeks and I've spent every single day cycling through something new that I see that's wrong. My brows are too heavy, my fake eyelashes are shiny and it looks like glue, my makeup is too warm when at my trial I asked for cool. I've got my video sneak peak now, and see even more new things in that.
It was all too much of a whirlwind to pick this stuff up on the day but now I'm driving myself insane regretting and looking back wishing I'd noticed. I had been worried leading up to the day as I spent 90% of my energy on the guests experience and very little on planning my personal appearance. But still, in general I turned out well, felt beautiful and I don't know why I'm being so neurotic.
I'm starting to feel like I genuinely might need professional help. I had such a gorgeous day and now this is all I can see. What can I do to stop this and just enjoy the memories?

3 Comments

Latest activity by JA, on October 3, 2024 at 1:46 PM
  • Heather
    Rockstar October 2024
    Heather ·
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    The day is over, maybe give yourself a nice long vacation from the wedding since it's settled. I do believe that there could be something deeply psychological going on here, but I'm also not a therapist. If you have a history of being a perfectionist though, perhaps this shouldn't come as a surprise.

    But it does sound like you need a deep criticism cleanse. Work on behavioral changes to accept with grace things you can't control, and find gratitude and positivity for all the things you recall that went right! Hey, you got lifelong commitment out of the love of your life, that's a great start. Smiley heart

    At the end of the day, if those glaring visual problems persist, then you can approach them with a less emotionally reactive review. The nice thing is at least with the photos, you probably have original image files that with some photoshop magic can look the way you like--however, approach with caution, if you carry this mindset into that process, you will end up picking the images apart to a point where they may look too artificial, losing the magic altogether.

    Little things can be worked on though, and if you have the creative chops to do it yourself, great! Otherwise, enlist a relative or friend who might be able to experiment and help you out.

    For now, breathe, be kind to yourself and give it a rest. The pictures aren't going anywhere. Congratulations to you Smiley heart

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  • Kate
    Just Said Yes September 2024
    Kate ·
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    Heather, that is such an empathetic response, thank you. I certainly have a chronic perfectionism so you are right, I shouldn't be surprised! So much went right (so much more than I could have hoped for even that week - there were a lot of variables that were on the edge!!). Taking a break from all things wedding is a great idea.

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  • J
    Rockstar March 2022
    JA ·
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    What heather said is perfect! Take a break and you can always photoshop a few of your favourites if you want to print/hang them.

    I don't love our photos and our wedding day overall wasnt what I had wanted, so I just don't look at the pictures. So thats always an option too lmao

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