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Lori
Just Said Yes August 2021

Night before/ Wedding night accommodations

Lori, on March 27, 2021 at 9:05 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 26
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What is your plan for the night before the wedding? My fiance and I live together so I'm considering us staying in separate hotel rooms the night before, to honor the "seeing each other before the ceremony" tradition.


I was considering getting a larger hotel room and having a sleepover the night before with my bridesmaids. On one hand, this could be very beneficial to have someone with me if I start to experience bridal anxiety. On the other hand, part of me wonders if I'd rather be alone to meditate/reflect and really *feel* all of the emotion that comes before a wedding. I'm also wondering if it's even worth it to stay separate the night before- all thoughts on this are welcome Smiley shame

What are your plans and why? Smiley heart Smiley heart

26 Comments

Latest activity by Grace, on March 30, 2021 at 1:36 PM
  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda
    • Flag
    We stayed in separate rooms the night before, and then both stayed in my room the night after (I got the bigger room 馃槉). It was really easy that way he just had someone from the hotel take his bags to my room up during the wedding too no need deal with that afterwards.
    • Reply
  • Ava
    Super May 2022
    Ava
    • Flag
    We will be staying separately the night before our wedding. FH will be staying at his place and I will be staying at a suite in the hotel we are having our wedding at. There are 2 bedrooms and bathrooms attached to a common living area, so I will be sleeping in one bedroom and my MOH will be staying with me in the other bedroom. FH and I both liked the tradition of staying separately, plus it just made it easier to wake up and already be at the venue the wedding is take place in. The other BMs will be meeting us at the suite for hair & makeup, and we鈥檒l just order room service to eat while we are getting ready.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle
    • Flag
    He鈥檚 staying at his parent鈥檚 house & I鈥檓 staying at my parent鈥檚 house. My makeup artist will be at my parent鈥檚 house in the morning with my dad making a great breakfast while we鈥檙e getting ready! One week from today!!!
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Devoted August 2022
    Nicole Online
    • Flag
    We're having a destination wedding and will stay in our hotel suite the night before the wedding. I'm so excited to wake up next to him and get all giddy that it's our wedding day. I want to enjoy some quiet moments just the two of us before we go our separate ways to get ready and the day gets chaotic!
    • Reply
  • Ava
    Super May 2022
    Ava
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Awwww how sweet your dad is cooking for y鈥檃ll! I love this!!!
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Devoted October 2023
    Alyssa
    • Flag
    My plan as of now (for a wedding 900 days away 馃槀)


    Our venue comes with a farm house to stay the night before and the night of. I'm going to stay the night in the "master suite" with my FH, but I'll have my dress in a different room with my MOH. Then we will wake up and the girls and I will probably get ready upstairs and he get ready down stairs. We've been together a decade so I'm more comfortable sleeping with him.
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly
    • Flag
    We had a destination wedding and stayed in the same room together. It was great to wake up with him and share the excitement of our wedding day.
    • Reply
  • Fred (Fr茅dolino)
    Expert April 2022
    Fred (Fr茅dolino)
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    This is what we are planning.

    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated September 2021
    Lw
    • Flag
    We鈥檙e staying at our house and having some friends over. We didn鈥檛 want to stay away from each other! It鈥檒l be exciting to wake up together and enjoy the excitement.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith
    • Flag
    I cannot imagine not having stayed together the night before. I think the whole thing of not seeing each other at all is hogwash, and it takes away from yo the night before, and being together morni g time before getting ready for the wedding. If you did not want to see each other while getting dressed, I could understand. But losing the whole night before, and morning, together? No way. All our hopes and dreams, talking together and cuddling.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle Online
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Exactly. The only time I have heard of sleeping apart is religious couples who don't live together prior to marriage. Everyone else we know says they have slept together the night before at home and it was the best decision ever.

    • Reply
  • Lori
    Just Said Yes August 2021
    Lori
    • Flag
    Hi all! I really like hearing what everyone has/or is planning on doing!


    I love the idea of staying together, but in a hotel or something.
    I just have to be honest I was nervous to bring it up 馃槄 while my fiance and I are very non traditional, we both grew up in more conservative and/or religious homes where staying together prior to marriage wasn't heard of. I think we were both trying to hang on to a little bit of tradition with planning to stay separate on that particular night even though we're almost attached at the hip and already living together.
    I do think, now though, that I'm going to bring up staying together but in a hotel close to our venue! Everything you've all said has definitely pushed me over the edge on this decision 鉂わ笍鉂わ笍
    • Reply
  • Jai
    Rockstar May 2020
    Jai
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree! The night before we were together and cuddled and talked. The morning of we had breakfast together and were only apart to get changed. We did a first look too. We've been living together for almost 3 years so to me, it'd be odd not to spend the night together
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca
    • Flag

    We also lived together before, but wanted the "separate nights".

    Since our venue was relatively close to my IL's, DH stayed their, and I stayed home. This gave him some time with his parents, and me time with *mine*, as they came for the week before the wedding.

    I had my BP bombard me with messages to GO TO BED (yes, I'm posting this at 3:30AM my time), but had alone time, too.

    On the flip side, I didn't see DH until I walked down the aisle at around 5PM, and I ... uh, well, my dad said, "You're clocking it, girl!"

    So... keep that in mind.

    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This was us too! We WERE so giddy the night before. We had so much to do: site walk-through, attend the welcome dinner my family hosted, and it was great being in our honeymoon suite trying to calm down and work on our wedding reception 鈥渨elcome speech鈥 together. We had to get up early the day of our wedding to decorate our venue.
    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Dedicated September 2021
    Melissa
    • Flag
    I think we're probably sharing a room. We live together already. There are no surprises there. Plus we're having a destination wedding (it's a small town I use that term lightly) so we would have to pay for two rooms. I talked to my bridal party about it, 3 of them have kids and just don't think it would work well having a sleepover, which isn't a huge deal to me.
    • Reply
  • Melissa
    Dedicated September 2021
    Melissa
    • Flag
    Plus FH will be able to calm my nerves better than anyone.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated August 2021
    Elizabeth
    • Flag
    My FH and I live together, but I'm also fairly traditional. For us personally, I'll be staying in our guest room a week before the wedding to 1) focus on our emotional connection rather than our physical connection and 2) build the excitement and anticipation of our wedding night that much more! I know it seems silly, but it feels a lot more special to me this way personally. The night before the wedding, since we are getting married at a resort, I will be sharing a room with one of my bridesmaids which will help calm my nerves. My advice is do whatever feels right to you!
    • Reply
  • Lafuturase帽ora
    Devoted April 2019
    Lafuturase帽ora
    • Flag
    We lived together as well and the day before we were up until about 2AM after all the decorating and welcoming family members was done. He still ended up leaving for the night to stay at his sisters house and I stayed at our home. My sister and family came over in the AM and seeing him for the first time that day at the end of the aisle was so exhilarating and special and cool. I wanted to do a first look too and honestly I鈥檓 glad we never did it.
    • Reply
  • Milada
    Expert October 2021
    Milada
    • Flag

    We'll be sleeping separably - I'm the first one in my friend group to get married and we made a pact at 17 that we would spend our last nights together. We also live together and our wedding is 2 hours away from our home so me having a sleepover with my bridal party works out since we'll have different accommodations. One of my bridesmaids's birthdays is the day after the wedding so we're planning to have a dual celebration for her the night before so I will get to see him then and we'll probably sneak off to have a special moment before we part from each other.


    Sidenote: my MOH is my very best friend in the entire world and I already know I'll be an anxiety filled wreck and I want to be able to lay in her arms and mentally prepare for the next day. We usually have a sleepover before every big event in our lives so I wouldn't skip this tradition for anything.

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