Nigerian wedding, panicking American bride

You could Google Nigerian wedding traditions.

Congrats on your engagement! Does your FH know a lot about the traditions? His family could be a good resource. ETA: ps, we're a match.com success story too :-)

Hi Caryl, welcome to WW! Make sure to upload a picture for your avatar (instead of the default double rings) so that we can get to know you and tell you apart from all the other double rings. Also, you'll get more responses with a different picture, because the rings can be associated with spammers/trolls You can do this on a desktop computer under My Settings in Profile and Privacy Settings.

We can help you plan Check out the checklist on WW under planning tools, it is really helpful with keeping you on track. I'm not familiar with Nigerian wedding traditions, but all wedding planning starts the same: budget, guest list, venue. Determine your budget and do a rough draft of the guest list, these 2 numbers will really determine everything Then book your venue and you'll be on the right path!

Congratulations on your engagement. What tribe is he from? Igbo, Yoruba, Edo? This would determine the customs and traditions.

ETA: I just noticed that you said he is Yoruba. Are you thinking of wearing traditional attire? My FH is Igbo so there are some differences in the customs. I will be wearing an Ichafu (headwrap) and a more Americanized dress at our second ceremony. Nigerian weddings can be over the top. Pinterest can give you an idea of the way things are done. Also, check out bellanaija.com. They are a great resource.

Do you know any Nigerian women from the same tribe that you could ask? I found it helpful to ask Brazilian women when I was trying to incorporate Brazilian traditions into my wedding. They don't have to be family. The woman I got the most helpful information from was DH's boss's wife.

Get his family involved ASAP. My friend had a traditional American ceremony on Saturday and a Nigerian ceremony on Sunday. Nigerian's are very generous people they will help you and it will honor them.

I'm not Nigerian, but quite a few of my friends are (Yoruba). I am in one of their weddings in just a few months. At least the way that they are doing it is that the brides family and the grooms family are splitting the cost of the traditional ceremony. The couple is paying for the American ceremony. Per my friend (the bride) younger couples are doing what they can to limit the guest list ie invitation only, hiring security for the door as the weddings can get very large and expensive (culturally from my understanding, anyone could show up to anyone's wedding). Most importantly, as others have mentioned, talk to his family. I'm sure that they love to help. My understanding, as least per my friends, is that this is something that many Nigerians take a lot of pride in. Good luck and congratulations!

I agree with everything the previous posters have said except google. You can't google culture and get an accurate, authentic feel. Use google after they've named some traditions so you understand the meaning but its not a starting place IMO. I'm not Nigerian but I work with a bunch of them and the weddings are extremely lavish and beautiful. Idk if you're dead set on your date yet but a friend of mine did the two weddings on Memorial Day weekend, that way ppl had the Monday to get back home/relax. Best of luck and keep us up to date!

I know this is mad late but i just ran into this post. I'm Nigerian (Yoruba) and my fiance is American. We are getting married a week before you and we are doing the WHOOOLLLEEEE LOT. If you have any questions, i'm happy to help

FinallygLovers, not too late at all! Right now we're working on establishing our colors. We're doing the full aso ebi for the engagement ceremony, then his family will probably wear traditional attire for the wedding and mine will wear American attire, but fiancé and I will change to traditional attire half way through the reception. So how many colors do we need? I know each family has their own colors for the engagement, but do we have a separate color? And does the bridal party wear the same color as us, or as our families? Do I also need to decide on colors for the wedding ceremony for each family, and yet another color for us to change into? We've asked his mom and she says "it's whatever you want" but I don't really know what's custumary or what my options are. Thanks so much and congratulations to you too!!!

We are basically doing the same thing. So for traditional engagement, you pick out the color/materials for your aso ebi girls which include your bridesmaids. I have 11 for my engagement and 5 for the wedding. This is a perfect way to include people who you are on the fence on having as a bridal party. Your girls for the traditional can be as many as you want. My girls are wearing yellow ankara and white gele (i'm assuming you already know these terms..if not just let me know lol) My FH's boys are wearing all white with a yellow cap. You and Your FH wear the same color/pattern totally different from everyone else (and more expensive). FH and I are doing silver. I was going to do all white but then i figured i'm wearing white the next day so why bother. My mom and dad and FH's parents are wearing the same color/pattern. This isn't necessary. Your parents can have theirs and his can have his but its really nice when all 4 have same pattern/color since the traditional is all about blending the families. Think about it this way, every group/section of people connected to you have their own colors. FH and I is silver, His family members are blue, My family members are green, Our parents same color, my friends yellow, his friends white, my mom's church family have their own color too but that something they choose on their own...dont worry about that. sometimes if the parents are part of a club, the club members have their own color/pattern too. At the end of the day you can say Carly's coworkers are the one's in the purple. For the wedding on saturday don't even sweat it. Treat it like every other American wedding. If his family want to choose a color they will on their own. Since u r changing at the reception, you can choose another color. FH and I are doing green. Hope this helps. Feel free to ask more questions. Its so nice to finally meet someone going through the same thing as i am haha.

Thank you Thank you Thank you! I always laugh when people ask me what my color is....I want to say, which one?! lol