Newly Engaged

I suggest being firm right away with both mothers. You'll find as time goes on and with evidence from these boards that if you aren't firm with what you want in the beginning it will just continue and continue throughout planning. Have either of them offered to help financially? If no, then you can say you want to wait for 2021 so you can save for the wedding you want. If they have offered, then you have to be extra careful accepting it because unfortunately a lot of times monetary input comes with strings.

Also, congratulations!! Please enjoy your engagement and welcome to ww!

View Quoted Comment Agreed! Polite, but firm! Especially if they aren’t planning on contributing money.

Just be polite and firm when you tell them. We didn't choose a date right away. It took a few months.

First off congratulations! How exciting! I think you should tell them straight up at that you want to enjoy the engagement for bit and you’ll get back to them about the date. Maybe tell them you’ll revisit the exact date in a few months then be firm with them that you appreciate their excitement but you’re only going to be engaged once so you wish to enjoy it!

Wow, congratulations Haley! Welcome to WeddingWire My fiancé and I didn't set a date until a little over a month into being engaged. We set a budget and a vague guest list first so we had an idea of what we needed. Definitely don't let others pressure you, and don't set a date until you have a venue. You may find that your dream venue won't work with your original date, ours didn't! My original plan was 10/27/19, but now it's 8/8/19!

Ugh, same here! We got engaged in Feb. FH's parents are in their mid-70's and his mom wanted a date. I told her 6/20/2020. She asked if we'd consider sooner but we need time to save and I want a big white wedding. (I'm version 2.0 for FH) I asked why and she told me they want to be around to see it! 😲 I just said oh, makes sense. Unless they're paying, stick to your guns. If you want to wait you should wait. But of course be nice about it. Just explain that it's important that you make the process as peaceful and drama free as possible.

Agree to stand your ground from the get go otherwise you will find yourself in a situation where they will cross your boundaries later. Let them know that you are excited too and that they will be the first to know when one is confirmed.

This is me omg. Frankly even if I had wanted to do my wedding this year at most venues it was already booked over a year in advanced for any day outside of rainy or cold seasons. I just told them the season I was looking for for a while and let them suggest locations to tour until we found one we liked and more or less let the venue pick the date for me. If you pick a date in peak wedding season for 2020 you might be hard pressed to get that specific date anyways and be asked to pick another date or bump to 2021 like you want anyways. I get the ladies in our lives are excited for a wedding but I try not involve others because it gets messy quickly with too many opinions. It's your wedding and you have to remember to do what you and your FH want.

Congratulations!! I suggest you sit down with both of them right away and share your feelings. This is YOUR day, not theirs. I’m sure they are excited but they need to respect your wishes. Set boundaries now to avoid more pressure on the future. Sit back and enjoy your engagement for a while.

As others have said, definitely be firm with them that you and your FH have both agreed you're getting married in 2021. That's actually a good buffer room for you so you can also look into vendors and have a much better selection of dates and options to choose from. As well as just enjoying being engaged!

That being said, even with a 2021 date, I suggest still looking to get your venue and dress taken care of around December (or earlier).

Yay congratulations!! My friend got engaged in 2018 and isn't getting married until late 2020, so you're not alone! They chose to do that so they could save money along the way and not stress so much while planning the wedding. I can't stress enough that YOU'RE THE ONE GETTING MARRIED! Totally up to you and your FH. I would feel comfortable standing up to my own mother and making FH stand up to his. Enjoy your engagement!

CONGRATS! We got engaged June 2018 and immediately I knew I wanted our date to be 10/10/20. Everyone kind of rolled their eyes and asked why we were waiting soooo long. But honestly it's been great. The last year has FLOWN by and I gotten a bunch done without being super stressed out. I can't imagine getting married this Oct if I had moved the date up a year like our families suggested.

I know that A LOT of people plan their weddings in 1.5 years but I just didn't want to. Sometimes I feel like ugh we could already be married or much closer! But mostly I'm glad we did a long engagement.

"We'll let you know what we decide." That phrase would be a very good friend to you in setting limits and boundaries with overly excited (that is, pushy) family members. Develop a spine and make your own decisions or you'll spend your married life as a doormat.

Even if you choose a date you need to find the perfect venue that will have that date available. I booked my venue February, 2018 for my March, 2019 wedding and saw many dates already booked for the 2019 year. Take your time and do real research and talk it out. Do not tell anyone maybe this date or that date, until you know for sure and by know for sure I mean have a signed contract for a venue. Good Luck!

First off congrats
Second, time will fly between now and the date you end up deciding so definitely go with what you're comfortable with!

I just got engaged about 24 hours ago, and we have decided a long time ago that we will have a 2 year engagement to save money for the wedding (paying for it ourselves), pay off some student debt. No way anyone is going to push me into doing it earlier. Stay firm It's your wedding

This is your time! Congratulations by the way You can politely explain that you have been browsing venues (even though maybe you haven't- soak up that new engaged bliss, girl) and tell them that many only have dates in that time frame. It's not uncommon that venues book up FAST. Or you can explain that there's no rush, you and your FH are still deciding what kind of wedding you want..This will also be a factor when booking a venue and choosing a date. But also express that you are very happy to share the news with them as it comes! As a silver lining, I think it's awesome that they are SO excited for the wedding and want it to happen as soon as possible- that definitely should be a win for ya

Stand your ground. A year goes quickly. We’re doing 2021 too and we’ve been together 6 years.