Newly Engaged and Overwhelmed

Get a planner book to stay organized and start researching vendors and venues but don’t sign anything until you have a set date. You’re just excited but you’ll get overwhelmed trying to tackle everything all at once so soon.

My planner book is from The Knot, it’s really helpful with not just writing down booked vendors but also deciding what we want. It has color swatches and suggestions for things based on adjectives used to describe your wedding. Since you already have an idea, this might help you pull together a cohesive look.

Once you get started, it will fall into place pretty quickly. The standard advice is to begin with your budget and guest list -- those two things will determine your options for pretty much everything else. The general rule of thumb is that venue/food/beverage/furnishings/tableware will end up being about 50% of your total budget -- so don't commit 75% of your budget to those things when you're looking at venues or you're going to have to significantly increase budget or start over. Do a lot of reading -- these forums are a GREAT place to learn from others' experiences/mistakes, and be open-minded. No one is "trying to be mean/rude" when they answer questions; most really are trying to be helpful and point out things you may not have considered.

Think a lot about what you and future spouse want in a wedding celebration and try to stay true to that, but also keep your guests in mind. Yes, "it's your day," but you will be inviting those most important to you so try to take their needs & comfort into consideration. Food, beverage, protection from uncomfortable weather, and a "seat for every butt" are considered non-negotiable.

Until you have a contract for a venue, you don't have a date, so make that your highest priority once you have a budget/guest list/vision. Once you have a venue/date, start lining up your next most important vendors, likely caterer, officiant, photographer, DJ, etc. In many cases, an all-inclusive or semi-inclusive venue can save you stress and money over contracting for everything separately.

If you find your budget isn't working, there are a few tried and true ways to reduce costs. 1) CUT your guest list -- this is the #1 cost driver. Depending on your area/budget, a single guest can cost you $100-250, or more. Need to reduce costs? Cut people! 2) Consider options that are likely to cost less, like less popular times of year, days of week, times of day. Daughter got married in So Cal in January and ended up with a $5000 discount on a Saturday night wedding (and, lucked out with absolutely perfect weather as a bonus). 3) Comparison shop and look for possible discounts. Daughter found a florist she loved who was $1000 less than her previous best option; a baker who would customize her cake for less than $4 a slice compared with others who were in the $6-10 range; and an awesome photographer who offered huge discounts for paying in full at booking and not using a credit card (she VERY CAREFULLY vetted him to be sure she was comfortable with the pay-in-full terms). On the other hand some of the things you think will save $$$ may actually cost you MORE (e.g., a backyard wedding [rentals & services add up really quick] and tons of DIY [sometimes small DIY projects can pay off, but it's too easy to start spending a lot of money on small things & "too good to pass up sales"]).

Planning a wedding can be so much fun, but being realistic and organized go a long way! Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Definitely set a budget first and decide how many guests to invite. Both of those will guide the rest of your decisions

I don't think you're doing everything too early. I got engaged 6/7/18 and booked a venue and photographer and caterer right away. We aren't getting married until 10/10/20. People were already starting to book up for my date in January of this year. So I'd say you're right on time and I'd start to get on everything now.

I realized in the tail end of planning that keeping it simple was probably the better way to go. So if you're overwhelmed with the idea of wedding planning, try to keep things simple e.g. cut out favors, don't do too much decor, etc.

We were very overwhelmed at first and immediately started looking at vendors to secure a date - the venue comes first. Afterwards, this opened up to finding the photographer, florist, coordinator, DJ, and hair & make-up artists. Once all our vendors were booked, the stress level dropped because there wasn't much to do until we got closer to the date. It definitely gets better as many things just fall into place!

It is never too early to start planning. The sooner the better because then you will be able to have everything you’ve dreamed of having (dress, venue, etc). I’m planning mine two years in advance because they way I see it, I can slowly start paying off the vendors without worrying about not having enough money.

I'm the SAME way. My FH keeps telling me "one thing at a time" but I'm so anxious and I get overwhelmed and even though it's not until September of next year I'm like "there's not enough time!" Lol

I second getting the planning book! I also have the one from The Knot and it’s great!

I had a venue, date, and dress within three weeks of getting engaged. I’m a teacher so I was very focused on getting stuff done before the craziness of school takes over. I think doing the big things soon is totally fine! You’ll be able to do the smaller stuff as you get closer.