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DabC
Dedicated January 2021

New York says no dancing!

DabC, on November 23, 2020 at 5:15 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 26
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Hi, are any other brides out there dealing with the no dancing rule? This is the rule in NY right now, I don't know about anywhere else. Ugh, this is absurd to me. People can sit at the same table and eat with no masks on, but can't dance with masks on? not even socially distanced dancing! The venue is like "oh people are getting created and playing games, games are fun" yes ma'am they are, at a freakin Baby Shower!!! To each their own but dancing is a big thing in my culture. We dance at all events and my wedding isn't going to be the 1st event that we don't dance at. So now I'm annoyed and don't know what my plan B is.

I would like to hear others' plan B's no matter what the reason you postponed. Our wedding is planned for January 2nd and we're going to get married that day regardless. I just don't know if I should do the ceremony and only postpone the reception. Postpone the whole thing and just get married at the courthouse. Have a ceremony somewhere different (like a restaurant) with a few people and do the whole thing over again later? And do we do our same date next year and make it a renewal, or no just do it like it's the 1st time or just pick a random date in the summer to do it? Like my brain is all over the place with this. Obviously a refund is not an option so I def have to have at least a 50 person reception at the current venue. They said I have up to a year of postponement. Throw everything at me. I'm open to everything at this point

26 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on December 4, 2020 at 1:33 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle Online ·
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    I think the reason they said no dancing is because truthfully, dance floors DO get really crowded. my best friend got married in mid september and she had dancing in arizona and it was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO CROWDED on that dance floor.

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  • Natalie
    Dedicated January 2022
    Natalie ·
    • Flag

    Dancing is very important to me to. I would not want to have a reception without dancing, maskless ceremony, and I want people to socialize outside of their family units. All of that is why we decided to post-pone to 2022. IMO this is kind of the risk you run with if you keep your wedding in the next 6 months or so (before a vaccine becomes widely available). It's a known risk, especially in New York (where I am also from) that restrictions will be enforced if we go above 3%.

    If I were you, I would either have a ceremony and delayed reception later, have a ceremony and no reception, or postpone both ceremony and reception. I say that because it does not sound like you would be happy with a COVID wedding, which necessitates social distance (including no dancing).

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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    We did a minimony on our original anniversary date and picked a random date to do it all over again but bigger (March 2021). It'll be like the traditional wedding (I'll wear my big dress there, have our bridal party, etc).
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I would have an intimate ceremony on your original wedding date and have a vow renewal later. I know that no dancing at the reception is disappointing, but what’s even more disappointing is having your loved ones get ill, or even worse, because of your wedding. It’s just not worth it right now. I also wouldn’t be surprised if there are more shutdowns before January that wouldn’t allow your wedding to happen at all. I think having a vow renewal of your dreams, including dancing, is the best option.
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  • Soon2Bemarried
    Dedicated October 2022
    Soon2Bemarried ·
    • Flag
    I feel you smh! This is ridiculous. We’re already limited to a 50 guest count, which the government sanctioned to be okay. 50 people in an enclosed space (the venue) is okay, but 50 people next together (potentially, but highly unlikely all at once or half that amount since everyone is aware of covid) or distanced on the dance floor isn’t okay.


    I second everything Natalie said. If you can’t see yourself having the wedding with out the reception, then you should postpone it while they just reissued new restrictions in the boroughs (not sure if you’re from downstate).
    We set our date in late 2022 but playing it by ear with covid and the vaccine candidates.

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    I live in a different country and we also have a no dancing rule at the moment. Where I live, you can have up to 300 people (but there needs to be 4sqm per person so if your venue isn’t big enough, your numbers need to go down) and only 20 people dancing, being the bridal party and other nominated people so long as the numbers don’t exceed 20 (and this does not allow for people switching, it is the same 20 people). This rule was announced in June and so we moved our 12 Dec 20 wedding to 12 Dec 21.

    I am in the same boat as you re dancing, it is a huge must culturally. For me, I wouldn’t feel married without the big white wedding and so we were happy to postpone our wedding (also gives me time to lose the COVID weight I’ve gained, lol).

    At the end of the day, I think you need to decide your non-negotiables; what is more important to you, getting married sooner or having the day go your way?

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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
    • Flag

    I think that rule has been in effect for awhile. I am also black so I get the culture of dancing but let's be real no one will social distance on the dance floor. You have a right to be upset as I know receptions are a huge part of a wedding but I agree with others that you would feel worse if people got sick at your wedding. I would say get married on the day you two planned and hold a reception at a later date when things get better which I hope is soon. I am sorry.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    If dancing is a non negotiable for you, I would do a small ceremony now & your bigger reception next year. If that’s the option you’re going for, I would definitely jump on booking your date as soo many COVID brides have opted to reschedule to 2022.
    • Reply
  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    They've already limited us to 50 ppl but yeah I get it.

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  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    I'm not sure if the venue would let me go that far into 2022. When I last asked she said up to a year postponement, I'm scheduled for January 2, 2021 so I can prob only go into January of 2022. I dunno, I just feel like once I'm married I'm going to be over trying to plan a reception later lol

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  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    It probably has and I'm pissed at the venue for not informing me! My mom and I went there randomly just to go figure out if a decor idea would work and that's when the event manager told us. So we're like ummm if we didn't come in today, at what point would we have received this info??? And I just booked the place in August so I'm wondering if she knew when I was booking also!

    We're definitely going to get married the day we plan I'm just feeling like once that's done I'm over it lol I honestly started thinking about another event that I could have next year just to not lose the money we already put out on the venue. Our son graduates in June, I played with the idea of just having a graduation party for him instead. But hell for all we know, same rules could still apply then! Ugh I dunno, I'm just aggravated. I had to be coerced into getting married (not really I just talk like that but it really wasn't something I planned on doing) and now when I finally give in, DRAMA!

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  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    300 ppl? Wow, we're only allowed 50.

    Ugh, I know decisions decisions. I need to write down my pros and cons lol

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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    Yeah where I am our response to COVID has been incredible and we can pretty much safely do most things because we have so few cases (literally like 85 cases in the last week from a country of 25 mil; 75 of those cases being people from overseas who are currently in quarantine) and even with all our progress we still have limitations. I.e. for us because of our venue size, because of the 4sqm per person rule we’d have to halve our guest list to 80 (and still no dancing) so it was a no brainer for us to postpone.

    Admittedly I’ve lost some excitement for the wedding (which I am hoping to regain next year as we get closer) but things are so more relaxed now with planning and I’m totally chill about it.

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  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    That's what I'm saying, the rules don't make sense! Ugh, I'm in Long Island. So yeah it's a matter of whether restrictions are coming from de Blasio or Cuomo. I know they just shut yall schools down, meanwhile my district is entering phase 2 of their reopening plan. I think elementary getting ready to go back all 5 days (that shyt isn't going to work lol)

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  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    Ok so this is what I was really wondering, if this is weird lol but I see not! What did you do for your minimony? Like even if I just have a few family members, do I take them out to eat or something or it's just ceremony and thank you for coming out, god bless you, goodnite? lol

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  • DabC
    Dedicated January 2021
    DabC ·
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    I was so cool with the 50 ppl cap. The no dancing just really threw me all the way off! That just doesn't make sense to me.

    What am I supposed to do with people if I have just the ceremony and postpone reception? Do I talk everyone out to eat or do they just leave after?

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  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    So we rented out a meeting room at a hotel and my parents cooked for everyone so there was a variety of food being served. After the ceremony we had music playing, took pictures, ate dinner, then started drinking & conversing. It was a fun night!
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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Oh yeah don't lose por on the money. Don't see this as drama as people know this is the time we're living. I pray things are better by June too so yeah maybe the graduation party. Would you not want a post wedding reception? It sucks they didn't tell you about that at most people want that for their reception. Shame on them. Hmmmm... Do you think your guests would be really offended at no dancing rather have some games? At some of our bbqs some people just sat around and chilled and played games
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  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    Just want to chime in and say that our wedding is set for Jan. 2022 and we've had no pushbacks or restriction talk from our venue or other vendors! I think that month is very safe to plan your wedding if you're able to, though I know it's disappointing to have to postpone it that far out.

    Our family and friends are all about dancing as well, so I feel you on your frustration! I also get where you're coming from about not wanting to elope or have an intimate ceremony just to plan a big reception later on. It's a tough call, but if you want to have dancing then I'd suggest either pushing it back till Jan. 2022 or planning a reception after an intimate ceremony.

    Good luck!!

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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    Hey MA bride here! We postponed our wedding over the summer for this exact reason. I couldn’t do no dancing at my wedding that’s what makes it fun. (Plus my dj is paid in full so I’m screwed there) my new date is next June and hoping for some sort of normal. If not I am definitely getting married that day and will dance on my honeymoon lol. Our states are ridiculous with their restrictions.
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