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Lindsay
Dedicated October 2018

New job before wedding

Lindsay, on April 2, 2018 at 2:20 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13
Has anyone looked for and gotten a new job before their wedding? How did you handle taking time off for the wedding at the new job?

My job has changed and my role has completely changed. I used to like what I was doing and now I find myself hating it nd being constantly frustrated and upset. My fiancé keeps telling me to apply to different jobs, but I’m worried about not being able to take the week off that I wanted to take. I also invited some co workers 2 to be exact and am worried about how it might be awkward if they came and I no longer work there. One was my former manager who I’m not worried about but it may be awkward with the other since we sort of still work in similar positions. I wasn’t expecting to leave my job when I sent the STD’s out. If I left the company would I still have to send them an invite?

13 Comments

Latest activity by HarryH, on December 22, 2020 at 4:17 AM
  • Pegs
    VIP July 2018
    Pegs ·
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    Well, coming from a Recruiter, and having to ask off 3 weeks for my out-of-the-country wedding, I recommend you bring this up at the time of any interview. I know that hiring managers appreciate the honesty and most are willing to accommodate your plans for your wedding. If they're not, then that kind of shows more about the hiring manager than anything else.

    I brought up my wedding plans and need to leave the country for an extended amount of time during the interview, and my manager was so understanding. Not every manager will be open to this, but you can't lie about needing the time off. It's a special time in your life!

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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
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    When you receive a job offer, just tell them the dates you will need off before accepting the offer. I've done this on a couple occasions where I had vacations scheduled before a job change. No need to bring it up during the interview process unless it comes up naturally. You will need to negotiate whether or not that time off will be paid or not though.

    Cautionary tale to those who have not yet sent STD's. There is NO NEED to send them to everyone on your guest list. OP - technically you should still invite the co-workers. If you don't invite them, it could sever the relationship and I don't think that's a good idea when you never know when your professional paths may cross again. Luckily it's only 4 people and if you don't have a good relationship with them outside of work to begin with, perhaps they will decline.

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  • R
    Dedicated August 2018
    Rachel ·
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    I'm actually in the same boat. I'm starting a new job in two weeks and my weddings in four months. I planned on taking a week and a half off but just starting a new job that's not really an option anymore. We're now planning on taking 3 days and then planning a full week get away on our one year anniversary. But if you're open with your new employer about your upcoming wedding and the time you planned to take off I'm sure most places would be willing to accomadate. My new employer is just to small of a company to acomadate 😕 pros and cons I guess lol. I also was planning on inviting co-workers but I haven't sent invitations and I'm not really planning on staying in touch with anyone ( it's become a very hostile work environment, but that's a whole different story lol) I was planning on inviting some more out of obligation than really wanting them there. So it really depends on what your relationship is with them I'd say. Hope this helps and good luck 😊😊
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  • B
    Super July 2018
    Brittany ·
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    My fiance didn't intend on leaving his job but his dream job opened up so he haaaad to go for it. When he got hired he let them know right away about the wedding. They were totally fine with giving him time off for something so important. We also sent Save the Dates to some of his old co-workers. We will still be sending them invitations because we really like them and hope to maintain the friendship.

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  • FutureMrsSmith
    Beginner April 2018
    FutureMrsSmith ·
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    I started a new job six months before my wedding. I brought it up during the interview. My employer was very accommodating and even offered more time off if I wanted it.
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  • Josh & Justine
    Super May 2018
    Josh & Justine ·
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    FH just started a new job (today, actually!) and he told them during the interview process about the time he needs off for the wedding and our honeymoon. They ultimately hired him, and approved the time off, but there was a waiting period where the hiring manager let him know she was waiting to hear back about his time off before they decided to hire him or not. THAT was stressful, but I'm glad he was completely honest with them about it up-front so there will be no questions asked when he's out now!

    Good luck to you in your job search!!

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  • H
    November 2018
    happeningmom ·
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    Most employers will try to accommodate you as long as you are forthcoming when you get the job offer. Please do not accept a position, start working then a month or two before your wedding spring it on them that you need to take any amount of time off. It is up to you if you wish to discuss this during the interview process or wait until you receive a job offer. Personally I say wait until the job offer then outline the entire time commitment to them. If you need the week of the wedding plus honeymoon then they need to know all of the time not just some. I have had people not tell me until a week before that they needed three weeks off. One for the wedding and then an additional two weeks for a honeymoon in Greece. Not a great position for either party to be in.
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  • Whitney
    Devoted June 2018
    Whitney ·
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    I just started a new job two weeks ago. I told my supervisor at my interview that I would need time off for my already planned wedding and honeymoon in June. They hired me and are going to give me the time for my wedding. If you want to look for a new gig, do it and be up front about your wedding. If they can’t deal, they won’t hire you. Otherwise, you can get a new job you like and be happier.
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  • Lindsay
    Dedicated October 2018
    Lindsay ·
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    Thanks for the advice everyone!

    Congrats to all you who have started new jobs as well!

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  • MrsSnez
    Super October 2018
    MrsSnez ·
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    FH started a new job after we'd booked both our destination wedding and already had a vacation to Mexico planned! They gave him exactly what he needed off, but it was still more than he would have gotten at his previous job (previous job would have given him 5 days a year and we booked Mexico long before he proposed). They had been chasing him for awhile though so he had a lot of room to negotiate. Good luck!
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  • futureMrsC
    Devoted March 2021
    futureMrsC ·
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    Sorry to hear about your job stresses! Hopefully things either level out where you are or you can find something you really enjoy and doesn't cause you so much grief. As some one who has been involved in hiring new employees in the past and also working as a trainer for a company with an extensive training program, PLEASE make sure you advise them during the interview process if you have pre-planned needed time off. Many businesses have limits/restrictions on when and how many people can take time off, and like with my job, time off during training is strongly discouraged but can be accommodated on a case by case basis. the more upfront you are, the better informed your potential employer will be and will often be more likely to grant you the time.

    As for the STD and the co-workers, if you felt close enough to invite them to your wedding, you removing the work relationship should not impact your friendship or make things awkward. Is it someone you typically spend time with outside of work? I feel like it would be more awkward to get a STD and no invite only to find out the Wedding indeed took place, than to get invited by a former co-worker.
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  • P.F.
    Super May 2018
    P.F. ·
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    FH and I both got new jobs and moved just a few months before the wedding. I actually found it very easy during the interview to inform them I'm engaged and this is the wedding date and honeymoon.
    They were understanding and grateful for the heads up. People understand weddings are a big deal and if you show respect by giving them prior notice then they are more likely to be positive about it where if you wait until you're hired it doesn't look as good.
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  • P.F.
    Super May 2018
    P.F. ·
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    Addition: FH was a dope and didn't tell them about the wedding and now he's having a hard time asking off. That's his dumb fault; he should have listened to me and told them in the interview! So learn from his mistake
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