New girlfriend at intimate wedding?

I would explain that the plus one was for his previous longer term GF. Having someone come that you haven’t even met to an intimate wedding isn’t really fair to you. If he’s a good friend he will understand.

It just depends on if this situation will ruin your wedding or not. I think it's easier to let it be and just tell him to get their own AirBnb. General rule of thumb is if they are given a plus one he could bring her. If you addressed the invite to him and his ex he wouldn't get a new plus one.

If he is asking - just say no! I think you can tell him exactly what you said here: the original plus one was intended when they were still in a relationship. Unfortunately, you don't know his new girlfriend and with it being such an intimate gathering, you would prefer her not be in attendance but would love to meet at another time. You can also let him know there's not room in the AirBnB, I doubt he'll want to shell out a bunch of cash for a hotel room for the two of them if he's a bit aloof in relationships.

How did he not know that he had a plus one? If you sent invitations or save the dates or both the plus one should have been included on those. If you haven't sent either or didn't already tell him he could bring someone that I think it is fine to revoke. If you already sent save the dates or invitations with a plus one or already told him he could bring one then I think it would be wrong to revoke his plus one.

I agree with Veronica, how does he not know he has a plus one? I think it’s rude to expect someone to travel for a destination wedding alone.

Your wedding your choice. I say just revoke it. Worst that could happen is he wouldn't come.

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He lost the paper invitation and we have the RSVP online and he hasn't been on the site yet to RSVP. That's why he reached out to ask.

He's also the maid of honor's brother so it's easier all around if he stays in the air bnb with us for carpooling, otherwise he'll rely on her for rides, getting him where he needs to be, etc. and she won't be available to pick him up since she'll be busy with MOH stuff. He's absolutely not the type to plan out getting a room, driving to Yosemite (where the ceremony is), and everything if it's not planned for him. He's a great friend, but a mess of a human and his girlfriends are wildcards. There have been occasions in the past where he brought one along for a weekend outing and they had a huge fight because she felt left-out of everything. Not sure if this girlfriend is like that, but I don't even want to worry about that. I'd rather be the bad guy now and say no then have a potential bad weekend because of her. He definitely doesn't mind, but I still feel bad about it.

I feel like you are fine to let him know he can't bring her. Usually, couples should be invited as a social unit, but if this is a couple that was formed after invitations I think you are totally fine. My sister had a friend who became official with her boyfriend the week of her wedding and it was one of those things where final payments had been made, the event had been planned out, etc. It's not like you had months and months to get to know her. I think you are totally okay to let him know you intended for the last girlfriend to come only.

I would just explain that his previous plus 1 was for his ex girlfriend. He is welcome to bring his new girlfriend but you will not be able to accommodate her as part of the group.

I agree with sherry. You have the room to invite her to the wedding because you originally gave him a plus one. I would let him bring his new gf but definitely explain to him you can’t accommodate the both of them at the air bnb

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Agreed and he will take charge of keeping her entertained and getting lodging for them two. You seem to know him pretty well so I would be upfront and just let him know that you are happy to meet her but he needs to be there for her and keep her entertained.

Honestly, it would be very rude to revoke his +1 just because he’s in a new relationship.

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Exactly. If it was a generic plus one, not letting him bring her is like saying "you can bring a plus one, but not her." Always best to name people on invites when possible.

You're fine, with a wedding that small especially. He is asking, just tell him no, easy peasy