Hello Brides! Help needed, please! Do I invite my cousin/sister NEW in-laws to my wedding? We have only met once, and I have only known of them since September 2019, and they live on the opposite side of the country.
From a young age, I was raised by my Aunt and Uncle - they are basically my Mom and Dad. They have a daughter, my Cousin - who is also more like a Sister, who met and married her husband last September, only nine months after meeting him, and I was the MoH at the wedding. At that time, it was only the second time I've met her husband.
My Cousin and her husband live on the East Coast, but myself, my fiance, Aunt, and Uncle all live together on the West Coast. We were given only three months' notice of their wedding, and his parents hosted it in PA where they live.
My Fiance and I have been together for six years, we got engaged in August 2019, and have been living with my Aunt and Uncle for two. They are in their 70's, and with their only child living in NY, we agreed to move in and help out around the house. They have done so much for me/us, and we care very deeply for them.
Now its time for me to plan my wedding, August 2020, and I am being asked to invite my Cousin's new husband's parents to my wedding. My gut has been saying No. I met his parents the week of their marriage and have not spoken to them since. When my Cousin asked that I invite her in-laws, I was a bit surprised, but we talked it out, and she seemed okay with my answer, even telling me I had no obligation to say yes, but she felt the need to ask.
Since that conversation with my Cousin, my Aunt has brought it up and seemed really surprised that I said no. I had the same conversation as I did with my Cousin, and it seemed to be handled, end of discussion. However, just today, my Uncle brought it up again, and again, I said no, but this time it felt like I was offending them.
I am more confused than ever about this ask and who it is coming from. I am worried that someone (my Aunt or Cousin) already told the in-laws that they would be getting an invitation before asking me, and now that I have said no, they are going to look bad? - Is that my problem though? I asked this question directly and was told that the in-laws just assumed they would be coming, but no one has confirmed or confessed to inviting them on my behalf.
My Fiance and I are planning and paying for our wedding ourselves. We both lost our parents when we were young and have worked really hard both independently and together for the lives we have built. We are walking down the aisle together and we are not having anyone stand up with us. Our wedding is about our partnership together. We are only having about 70 people, the guest list was finalized weeks ago, and the Save the Dates went out last week. Our wedding is COMPLETELY different than my Cousins was and I am feeling like there is a lack of boundaries at play here.
So, would you stick to your decision, or would you give in and invite the strangers' in-law?
