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Just Said Yes July 2019

Never been a bridesmaid

Ashley, on January 2, 2020 at 10:35 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 3
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I've never been a formal bridesmaid that wears the dress and holds the bouquet. I'm indian and a lot of my friends are too, so our ceremonies are different. My friends who chose to do it had small bridal parties with relatives and a few close friends. I was still treated well in their weddings. In my sister's wedding, I planned the bridal shower, bachelorette party and walked out with her. But she chose not to do bridesmaids to avoid drama. My two closest friends are indian Americans who are also opting out of bridesmaids too, but I am going to plan their events and make a speech in their wedding -- just no bouquets and matching outfits.

I know it probably sounds superficial, but some other women have put me down on this. Saying that you've never been in an American wedding? Never been a bridesmaid? As if it's a status thing. It's made me feel bad. And I'm not sure how to respond to that.
I'm doing all the work for my friends and my sister and if it was an American wedding, I would have counted a bridesmaid. But if some people opt out of it, why do people think it's ok to treat me like I'm less?

3 Comments

Latest activity by Concetta, on January 3, 2020 at 2:08 PM
  • N
    Master January 2015
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    Hi Ashley, I'm sorry you're dealing with this situation. Being/not being a bridesmaid has absolutely nothing to do with "status" in life. I find it odd that the people around you feel like it is and have treated you poorly because of it. I would definitely reconsider the people you associate with if this is an issue because you're right, it is very superficial for those women to think that something like that holds any merit to who you are as a person.

    It's great that you're helping out/participating in your friends weddings and I'm sure they appreciate it a ton! Don't let those negative people get you down, they sound like they need to reevaluate their priorities Smiley smile

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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    I've never been a bridesmaid - *lots* of people have never been bridesmaids. I think it's awful that people are trying to use that as a taunt, but I think it says a heck of a lot more about them than it does about you.

    Please try to ignore them - celebrate the way *you* want to celebrate, and don't worry about "status" in terms of being part of weddings. Honestly, it's an expensive "honor" and can be really tough on friendships. (I chose my BP very carefully because of that, and stressed that I wanted to keep things low key and like our regular hang-outs.)

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  • Concetta
    Super March 2020
    Concetta ·
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    Hi, do not let labels get you down!!! from the sound of it you are more of a bridesmaid than the girls I have asked!!! it is not about the title it is about your heart and the way you are treating the bride is exactly as a maid would

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