Nervous about the “crash” after the wedding is over

Ah there are post wedding blues - i had them. there are things to do though still such as writing your thank you cards and sending them, sorting out all your stuff after the wedding such as selling anything you still have or getting things preserved, etc.

another really good thing is finding new projects for yourself. for instance after i came back from my honeymoon i had my husband's big milestone bday to plan.

also just continually being here on weddingwire is so nice

Can you look forward to newlywed bliss the way you do other events? Take it day by day and focus on the little, everyday things. like the first time you make dinner for your husband, your first date night with you husband, first married holidays, etc. Even the mundane things can be soemthing you choose to look forward to, even if it's just to avoid not having anything to look forward to if that makes sense.

A couple things you could do after the wedding are: create a scrapbook from your wedding day/engagement (so you can still focus a little bit on wedding), start a new hobby or sign up for classes covering something you're interested in (photography, art, yoga, etc), plan a non-wedding party (maybe a themed party with friends, where the decor, food, games, and even outfits follow a specific theme? Themes could be anything from Hawaiian to Halloween to Mystery, etc), plan a trip, or any of the ideas that have already been mentioned in the previous comments. These would give you something new to focus on, and hopefully help with post-wedding blues.

You are not alone. I tend obsess over things, especially events. When my wedding was over I was just like “okay...now what?” What helped me was finding small projects to do around the house. Planning our wedding album, deciding where we could hang wedding photos, organizing and selling our decor. If you have non-wedding related home renovations or something else to focus your energy on, that would be even better.

I understand what your doing but maybe you can obsess over date nights like do a date night once a week. congrats on getting married

You could work on a wedding scrapbook afterwards. Maybe you could volunteer like doing meal delivery to those most vulnerable to keep yourself busy.

I was worried about the same thing, and as the date got closer I got more and more nervous about not being happy -- which was also intertwined with "Are we making the right decision(s)?" considering the state of the world.

With that in mind, I actually felt so much relief when the wedding was over, and was fully relaxed after we passed the 2-week mark and no one got sick.

Our wedding was not what we envisioned. I knew that going in, but I am still sad about it. Afterwards, I had a lot of moments of reality sinking in: "We spent how much for what again?!"

It also was not a perfect day, but I still wish it lasted longer.

It's been a lot of fun going through cards/presents, writing thank-you notes, picking out Christmas cards, thinking of traditions to start for our first holidays together, etc.

Everyone can benefit from having something to look forward to. As PPs mentioned, there are a lot of fun projects you can do, and you can always relive the day and share your experiences with others here on WW.

Wedding blues are real! I was so sad when our wedding and minimoon were over! I spent so much time planning and making our say perfect. Once I didn’t have a wedding to plan anymore, I felt a little lost.
I found that looking forward to our photos and videos to arrive helped. We also moved shortly after our wedding so that kept me busy. Also, staying on Wedding Wire and helping/conversing with other brides helps.
If you and your fiancé can squeeze in a minimoon after your wedding, I highly recommend. It’s nice to have that time to decompress and enjoy your new spouse.

Can you talk to a counselor? That might help you set healthy expectations for your wedding—before, day of, and after. There is a LOT of personal and social stress we can carry into our wedding, enabling us to miss the truly special moments and whole point of getting married. That’s great you’re aware of some depression triggers for you. Getting ahead of it may help. Post-wedding blues are real.


DO get a hotel the night of! It’s really great to wake up with your spouse after the wedding and enjoy some R&R before heading back into the “real world.”

It used to be that more people entertained at home, and consciously worked on their skills with their new dishes or pans. And worked on cultivating some couple or workplace friends. As a country girl, I had that habit. So when I put away wedding planning, I started working on a few new recipes, learned a couple of more social card games like bridge and poker, rather than Skat, Whist and Heart's. And learning the difference between pool and billiards on rules, since FI had a pool table and we got a second as a gift. We were in a new small town, and we made an effort to meet people, Having no neighbors 9 months a year.
Ee each did some volunteer work, and met mostly individual people. We were on new jobs, and hubby owed invitations from all the co-workers who had invited him or us over. And we both had taken second jobs to earn money for the wedding, and found I missed some of the nurses, he the ambulance crew. On WW, I am always surprised at the number of people who act as though their wedding is the only party they will ever have.
But we began to have dinner parties. casual in dress, date like. And except our delayed honeymoon trip, starting 2 months after the wedding, we planned entertaining once a month. Usually 3 other couples, since food for 8 was the budget, but after skating parties ( we lived lakeside) or coasting, we had 20 plus several times. Not tube, or screen, those on other nights. We enjoyed making detailed plans, cleaning up and setting out the nice dishes, fancy menus.
Our circle of friends grew, and we had 2-3 invitations a month ourselves, some to restaurants or shows or movies. Some tobogganing, or helping someone build or renovate their house. We did not have any rated clinical depression. But separately, had each been in the Army a few years, aeay, then came back to 1.5 or 2 years grad school. He was 6 hours from Brooklyn family. I was an hour from my hometown, but most of my friends and 8 brothers and sisters were scattered, jobs and schools. That once a month, make yourself make the overtures of friendshipplan, was great in the long run. And we took such pride in our home, and fixing things up, I got back to canoeing and kayaking , hiking and long distance swimming and biking. Hubby stopped jogging ad exercise machines, and came with me, and friends. It takes a concerted effort to plan. And at first, just go do it. But hubby and I each found an end to our disconnect, Army and school and we had each lost someone ( his fiance, my 1st husband) before going in the service.When the wedding planning is done, plan something using the same skills, on a small scale. In time, other people seeking you out will add a balance. Meet new people, or see old ones more systematically. After your wedding, we should be back to being able to do social things. And you won't be the only one with a disconnect. Take a cooking course in adult ed if it helps. Take calligraphy. Join a club. Don't let the blues settle in.

As a person battling depression I can relate. I feel a little happier now that I have this event happening in my life. But I know when it's over I'm not going to be so happy. For a little insight, I've been depressed since I was sixteen im now 29. From sixteen to August of this year I kept telling myself that Im not depressed I have no reason to be so obviously I'm not. I hid it from everyone and never shared any dark thoughts I was having with anyone. But with covid I became more depressed and I finally came to realize thanks to someone that I am battling depression and I need to talk about it and let my family and fiance know.


All through out that time I felt like I was always rushing through life trying to rush to that fun joy filled event happening in my life. Then I'd get happy when the event was right around the corner. Then after the event was over id go back to my dark place until another happy event came around. When I'm in that dark place I'm angry and sleep all the time. Right now planning my wedding I've been very nice only sleeping the normal amount. It kind of scares me because after the wedding am I going to become that nasty person back in a dark place.
I think the best thing is to talk about it with your fiance he should be your rock. I know mine is, he has helped me try and get control over my depression. He listens to me even when I don't say a word. Telling him was the best thing i did because it brought us closer.