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Dedicated September 2020

Need to vent for a moment....

Patricia, on February 20, 2020 at 10:41 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 9

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Hi everyone! I'm sorry. I just feel like I need to have a long rant

My FH and I got engaged last September. We'd been talking about getting married for a long time, and we always "joked" about eloping. When we finally got engaged, my first thought was eloping because I'd love to have that beautiful and intimate moment just with my FH. However, my FMIL (who is like a second mother to me and ALSO MY BOSS) was not happy at all. I always feel pressure about pleasing her because she's not just my FMIL but also my boss..

Anyway.. we said we would have a super small wedding, about 10 people. My whole side of the family except for my Mother lives in a different country and cannot come to the wedding. Then FH said 25 guests, then 40.. then 50... inviting family he has not seen in years....

We ended up booking a GORGEOUS venue that said they can host a wedding from 30 to 120 people, and they modify the floor plan to make sure small weddings don't look that small with so much open space. I was like "Ok. We can have a small beautiful wedding here". I'm not going to lie, after booking the venue, I became super excited about planning this wedding and cannot wait!!

We currently have 77 people on our list including a plus one for everyone... however, 2/3 of the guests live out of state, so there's a BIG chance the majority of the people won't come... Here I am, nervous because we are paying for the GORGEOUS all-inclusive venue, and I feel it will be empty with no one dancing......

Sadly to say, I don't have any friends of my own since I finished college, except for my MOH who lives in New Mexico. I feel like now we are struggling to get people invited to the wedding when other people are struggling to cut guests of their lists... FH keeps telling me that I need to make new friends so that I can invite them to the wedding later, BUT I'm not the sociable type of person lol. I dread going out and socializing. plus I don't want to have a wedding full of random people either......

Anyway, it is what it is, and at the end of the day, it's about my FH and I, but I keep thinking about all the money we are spending for this day, and it will be only a handful of people...

Who knows? maybe most people end up coming (doubt it) and we end up with 70 people lol. Sorry for the long rant

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Kristen, on February 20, 2020 at 1:00 PM

Master May 2019
Cyndy · on February 20, 2020 at 10:48 AM
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Congratulations! It sounds like you’ve e gone from very small to possibly a good size wedding and you’re ok with it which is great. I would wait and see how many people come. You might be surprised. I wouldn’t “try to make new friends to invite”. The important people will be there to support you and it’s really about you and your FH anyway. Good luck!
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Dedicated September 2020
Patricia · on February 20, 2020 at 10:59 AM
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Hi Cyndy!
Thank you for your message, and reading my long rant. I appreciate it because I didn't think anyone would read it hahah
What you say it's true. I should wait and not stress out. I sent Save the Dates about 2-3 weeks ago since most of our guests are out of town, so I'm hoping people have enough time to make arrangements between now and September. I definitely don't want a huge wedding, but I want enough people dancing without the dance floor looking all sad lol.
Everything will happen they way it needs to happen. I just need to remember that
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on February 20, 2020 at 11:38 AM
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I am confused. Are you disappointed it will be small?
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VIP August 2020
Kathryn · on February 20, 2020 at 11:39 AM
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I feel you so much!!! Most of my family and his are out of town, but his family are all making the trip. Meanwhile, a lot of mine have already declined. I don't think they understood that that was most of our guest list, so each cousin dropping is really going to make the huge ballroom we picked even more large....and we don't have that many friends because both of us are anti-social. I already had a hard time getting a bridal party together. I wish we'd gone smaller, because we probably don't need this huge venue. It makes me kind of sad because my uncle on my dad's side is also flaking. I keep trying to say each decline is money saved, but it makes me sad. It feels like we're putting in all this money for a little bit more than an elopement. So yeah, I feel you on this rant.
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Dedicated September 2020
Patricia · on February 20, 2020 at 12:07 PM
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I'm not dissapointed that it will small. I'm nervous about spending a lot of money for a medium size wedding with all the guests FH wants, and only end up with a small amount of people there when we could've had a small wedding from the beginning like I wanted to and spend less.
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Dedicated September 2020
Patricia · on February 20, 2020 at 12:11 PM
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Oh no! I'm so sorry. We definitely seem to be in pretty similar situations. I hope everything works out for you. I'm sure you are already stressed out about everything else with the wedding being so soon.
What we have to keep in mind is that at the end of the day, everything will be beautiful . Is your venue able to accommodate your floor plan so that when you give them the final guest count, they make sure it doesn't look so spread out and open?
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VIP August 2020
Kathryn · on February 20, 2020 at 12:16 PM
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We're going to end up closer to 50 probably when we originally said 80, so it was a lot of fun to mumble to the florist that we need to cut tables. It feels more embarrassing than anything else. I'm sure the venue will make the room looks great, but it feels weird when most brides are cutting people from their list. I'm stressed because the florist needs a count and we have to keep redoing the seating chart as people decline. As rough as it is for me emotionally, I keep telling myself we wanted smaller anyway. And we're saving money! It just feels so dumb to spend all this money for a huge room that would hold 150 people....for 50. Lol This whole process has been a roller coaster.
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Dedicated September 2020
Patricia · on February 20, 2020 at 12:26 PM
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I one million % understand how you feel. I could've not explain it any better. It's not a fun situation. A roller coaster definitely defines wedding planning and this situation pretty well hahah.
Good luck with everything! It will all be worthy in the end and you and your FH will be happy and married.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on February 20, 2020 at 1:00 PM
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Ahhhh I see. Then I would express that to your fiance and cap the list where it is. Plus I do not think you should make friends just to bring them to the wedding. I am sure you want the important people there for your big day. I think intimate weddings are nice and much less stress.
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