Need opinion! Bridemaids gift

"Honorary" is not a real title. They are not actual bridesmaids so skip the gifts.

I think it's sweet that you'd like to honor your friends even though they won't be there, and the items you listed are good ideas. But I wouldn't write "bridesmaid" on anything. I don't see how they're bridesmaids, even "honorary", if they're not attending the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Definitely this. I definitely would not send a dated gift or anything that says bridesmaid on it.


I don’t know how small you’re thinking, but to go with the candle, one of my absolute favorite near-universally appealing gifts is a USB lighter. This one is very pretty but still economical:
https://www.amazon.com/REIDEA-Electronic-Windproof-Flameless-Rechargeable/dp/B07D6LX9ZP/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=usb+lighter&qid=1617748736&sr=8-4

Other pampering type gifts that go with your theme are silk or satin pillow cases, bath tub/shower wine glass holder, terry headbands to keep your hair off your face while you wash it, MakeUp Eraser wash cloth...

First, there is no such thing as an honorary bridesmaid. You are either a bridesmaid or you aren't. Since they won't be at the wedding, then they aren't bridesmaids. To answer your question, I wouldn't send anything with bridesmaid or your date written on it. If anything, I would think that would make them feel more left out.

I don’t think getting them gifts in this situation is totally appropriate. I definitely wouldn’t do something wedding related, you can always send a thank you gift if they give you guys a gift? That’s a lot of gifting though.

Whether your friends are bridesmaids or not, I can guarantee you that any gift that has your wedding details or ‘bridesmaid’ on it are going to end up in the bin unless its something super practical. Personally, if I were given a gift for not being invited to a friend’s wedding/asked to be a bridesmaid, I would probably be super confused. Save your money.

I have to say, I would find it very odd to receive a gift that said bridesmaid with your wedding date for a wedding that I neither participated in or even attended. Maybe gear them more toward friendship/thank you/appreciation gifts. How about including a nice frame with your favorite photo of you with each of them?

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These are all great suggestions!

I think it's nice that you want to include them in a small way! Def. stay away from putting anything with your date or a wedding title on it because it gives off the illusion that they ARE part of a bridal party. Another thing to remember is that most dated and titled things go in the trash or in a box collecting dust.

Everything you've listed sounds like more than enough for a gift! Adding the suggestions that Kylie had will for sure be an awesome gift!

I think this is super sweet of you! The only thing I would try to stay away from is anything with your name or wedding date. You could definitely get a sweet, personalized gift and maybe write a letter to each of them.

My friend actually planned her wedding a few years ago, booked a venue and asked her bridesmaids etc., and ended up canceling the large wedding and doing a DW with the two of them instead. She still "honored" us as if we were her bridesmaids, still. She gave us a gift and a sweet letter. We also gifted her with a bachelorette type of trip with all of the girls after her DW. I personally love your idea of making them feel special and important to you even though they won't be in the wedding!

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Thank you!

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Thank you! I have a couple of girls that are a tad bit hurt that they're not sharing in our special day, but they understand. Our immediate family only is a compromise. FH wants to go the courthouse and I wanted the full on wedding with everything that goes with it LOL.

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Thank you!!

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Thanks. They're "honorary" since we're not having a bridal party. I wanted a full on wedding w/ all the stops and FH wanted to go to the courthouse-elopement style. This is our compromise. A couple of my ladies are disappointed and slightly hurt feelings, but they understand. I really want them to feel special and know that if I had it my way 100% they would be there and a part of our special day.

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The only reason they are not bridesmaids in our wedding is because FH & I compromised to have immediate family only vs us having a full on wedding w/ all the stops (what I want)/Eloping at the courthouse (what FH wants). There are some hurt feelings and definite disappointment with my ladies, but they understand 100% of our choice and are being supportive. I want to honor our friendship by giving them some of the experience one should receive as being bridesmaid without all the stress and financial strain. Plus, what can it hurt to give extra love to some of the most important people in my life who are being beyond supportive with one of the happiest times in my life?

Thank you everyone who gave feedback. It's all appreciated!

View Quoted Comment I see. As others mentioned, being called an "honorary" bridesmaid can feel like a slap in the face, despite your best intentions. Friendship is a beautiful thing on its own and there's really no need to add a title on top of that. Especially if some of your friends are already a bit hurt, I think just giving them gifts to say that you appreciate and value their friendship is enough. I think that gets the same message across without the possibility of accidentally offending anyone.

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Agree with this. Celebrate the friendship on its own and leave the bridesmaid part out of it. Especially since feelings have already been hurt.