We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

L
Savvy September 2021

Need opinion! Bridemaids gift

Ladyish, on April 6, 2021 at 6:16 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 17
Saved Save
Reply

Hi everyone,


Yes another bridesmaid's gift question, lol. FH and I are having a micro wedding (immediate family only) out of state this fall. I really want to honor my girls by gifting them a "honorary bridesmaid" gift and let them know how much they mean to me even though they aren't going to be with me on my big day. I know it's recommended to buy something like it's their birthday or any other gift-giving holiday, and nothing with wedding date/wedding/bridesmaid on it. However, since we aren't having a wedding party, would it still be tacky to have something etched with our date and/or bridesmaid on it? Right now I'm planning on gift basket-style with a candle, body scrub and a gift card to their favor coffee place. Obviously the scrub & candle will be tailored to their preferred scent. I want to add a couple of small items, but I'm at a loss. I don't want to do jewerly, robes, tote bags or clothing--any suggestions? We already have monogrammed yeti/brumate cups/tumblers/koozies so I'd prefer to stay away from that. I also have to mail two out of state, while the rest are being hand delivered. TIA!!

17 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on April 7, 2021 at 12:24 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    "Honorary" is not a real title. They are not actual bridesmaids so skip the gifts.

    • Reply
  • H
    Dedicated August 2023
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    I think it's sweet that you'd like to honor your friends even though they won't be there, and the items you listed are good ideas. But I wouldn't write "bridesmaid" on anything. I don't see how they're bridesmaids, even "honorary", if they're not attending the wedding.
    • Reply
  • KYLIE
    Expert May 2019
    KYLIE Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Definitely this. I definitely would not send a dated gift or anything that says bridesmaid on it.


    I don’t know how small you’re thinking, but to go with the candle, one of my absolute favorite near-universally appealing gifts is a USB lighter. This one is very pretty but still economical:
    https://www.amazon.com/REIDEA-Electronic-Windproof-Flameless-Rechargeable/dp/B07D6LX9ZP/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=usb+lighter&qid=1617748736&sr=8-4

    Other pampering type gifts that go with your theme are silk or satin pillow cases, bath tub/shower wine glass holder, terry headbands to keep your hair off your face while you wash it, MakeUp Eraser wash cloth...
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    First, there is no such thing as an honorary bridesmaid. You are either a bridesmaid or you aren't. Since they won't be at the wedding, then they aren't bridesmaids. To answer your question, I wouldn't send anything with bridesmaid or your date written on it. If anything, I would think that would make them feel more left out.

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think getting them gifts in this situation is totally appropriate. I definitely wouldn’t do something wedding related, you can always send a thank you gift if they give you guys a gift? That’s a lot of gifting though.
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    Whether your friends are bridesmaids or not, I can guarantee you that any gift that has your wedding details or ‘bridesmaid’ on it are going to end up in the bin unless its something super practical. Personally, if I were given a gift for not being invited to a friend’s wedding/asked to be a bridesmaid, I would probably be super confused. Save your money.

    • Reply
  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    I have to say, I would find it very odd to receive a gift that said bridesmaid with your wedding date for a wedding that I neither participated in or even attended. Maybe gear them more toward friendship/thank you/appreciation gifts. How about including a nice frame with your favorite photo of you with each of them?

    • Reply
  • Shelly
    Rockstar January 2022
    Shelly ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    These are all great suggestions!

    I think it's nice that you want to include them in a small way! Def. stay away from putting anything with your date or a wedding title on it because it gives off the illusion that they ARE part of a bridal party. Another thing to remember is that most dated and titled things go in the trash or in a box collecting dust.

    Everything you've listed sounds like more than enough for a gift! Adding the suggestions that Kylie had will for sure be an awesome gift!

    • Reply
  • MK
    Devoted September 2021
    MK Online ·
    • Flag

    I think this is super sweet of you! The only thing I would try to stay away from is anything with your name or wedding date. You could definitely get a sweet, personalized gift and maybe write a letter to each of them.

    My friend actually planned her wedding a few years ago, booked a venue and asked her bridesmaids etc., and ended up canceling the large wedding and doing a DW with the two of them instead. She still "honored" us as if we were her bridesmaids, still. She gave us a gift and a sweet letter. We also gifted her with a bachelorette type of trip with all of the girls after her DW. I personally love your idea of making them feel special and important to you even though they won't be in the wedding!

    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you!

    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you! I have a couple of girls that are a tad bit hurt that they're not sharing in our special day, but they understand. Our immediate family only is a compromise. FH wants to go the courthouse and I wanted the full on wedding with everything that goes with it LOL.

    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you!!

    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks. They're "honorary" since we're not having a bridal party. I wanted a full on wedding w/ all the stops and FH wanted to go to the courthouse-elopement style. This is our compromise. A couple of my ladies are disappointed and slightly hurt feelings, but they understand. I really want them to feel special and know that if I had it my way 100% they would be there and a part of our special day.

    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    The only reason they are not bridesmaids in our wedding is because FH & I compromised to have immediate family only vs us having a full on wedding w/ all the stops (what I want)/Eloping at the courthouse (what FH wants). There are some hurt feelings and definite disappointment with my ladies, but they understand 100% of our choice and are being supportive. I want to honor our friendship by giving them some of the experience one should receive as being bridesmaid without all the stress and financial strain. Plus, what can it hurt to give extra love to some of the most important people in my life who are being beyond supportive with one of the happiest times in my life?

    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy September 2021
    Ladyish ·
    • Flag

    Thank you everyone who gave feedback. It's all appreciated!

    • Reply
  • H
    Dedicated August 2023
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I see. As others mentioned, being called an "honorary" bridesmaid can feel like a slap in the face, despite your best intentions. Friendship is a beautiful thing on its own and there's really no need to add a title on top of that. Especially if some of your friends are already a bit hurt, I think just giving them gifts to say that you appreciate and value their friendship is enough. I think that gets the same message across without the possibility of accidentally offending anyone.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Agree with this. Celebrate the friendship on its own and leave the bridesmaid part out of it. Especially since feelings have already been hurt.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics