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Savvy March 2021

Need help selecting location. Family lives on opposite sides of east coast.

on March 7, 2019 at 6:38 AM Posted in Planning 0 10

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Hi friends,

I would really love advice on how you selected the location of your wedding if you and your fiancé are from different places. My family lives in GA and FL. My fiancé’s family lives in NJ & MA, and me and fiancé live in DC and met in PA.

I’m all over the place looking for wedding venues and honestly it’s getting to be pretty exhausting. I fell in love with a venue in GA (closest to my family), but that puts all of my fiancé’s family at a disadvantage because they all have to travel to GA. I also found a venue that I like and definitely don’t love in PA, but then I feel like I’m settling.

Is it fair to ask the groom’s entire family to buy airline tickets and fly to GA, knowing that it’s a 15-minute drive for all of my family? Or is it better in the long-term planning process to find a location that is the middle ground for both of our families?

Would love any advice!

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Summerbride77, on March 7, 2019 at 11:40 AM

Expert May 2019
Kat · on March 7, 2019 at 7:43 AM
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I would honestly do it where you live now, which would make your planning way easier and be right in the middle for all your guests. (Although I may be biased, cause we’re also in DC and having our wedding here!)
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Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on March 7, 2019 at 7:59 AM
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I’m from NC and most of my family lives in NC and SC. He’s from TX and his family lives in TX, CA, and RI. We live in CO. Our friends live in PA, VA, LA, Europe as well as the places I previously mentioned. We are doing it in NC because 1 I love it, 2 most people live around there. Anywhere I did it a lot of ppl would have to travel far, so at least NC is a little more central. Traveling is just the reality of today where people move a lot and get jobs all over, plus he is military. His mom complained that we should do it in CA but there’s 3 out of 82 guests from there, it just makes no sense.
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Dedicated January 2020
Leigh · on March 7, 2019 at 8:03 AM
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I would try to find a location somewhere near an airport and closeish to where you live now. Maybe there’s a venue in PA you’d like better? I’d avoid the immediate DC area just because of cost, but if you have the budget then it would make the most sense. Much easier on you.
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VIP September 2019
Melissa · on March 7, 2019 at 8:23 AM
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I would get married where you live. I believe you said in DC so that’s fairly in the middle and it will be much easier for you to plan. And if I had family that lived out of state, I would automatically assume they were getting married in the area that they lived.
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Savvy March 2021
· on March 7, 2019 at 8:27 AM
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Thanks for your feedback! It’s really helpful instead of running all the different scenarios in my brain. Maybe I’ll look around again and see if I can find a venue near where I live. I was also considering having an engagement party in NJ and then having the wedding in GA, so that no one felt pressure to travel if they couldn’t because we would have a celebration in one of our hometowns.
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Master May 2020
Tara · on March 7, 2019 at 8:29 AM
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I recommend you get married where you live.
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Expert June 2019
Afterallthistime...Always · on March 7, 2019 at 8:52 AM
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I’m in a similar situation. My family is from Upstate NY, FH family is from SW FL. We live in SE VA. Friends located all the way out in CA and one in London. We decided to have it where we live since no matter where we chose, a lot of people would still have to travel.
Also, as someone else said above, it makes it way easier to plan if I can meet with all my vendors in person any time I want since they’re local to me.
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Super November 2019
Kristin · on March 7, 2019 at 8:57 AM
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Luckily both of our families are mostly in the Chicago area so that is where we are having it although we live about 2 hours away. My parents just retired so they have been a huge help with going down and checking on things so I don't have to spend my entire weekend running around.
I think you could go 1 of 2 ways. 1) have it where you live now. It will make everything soooo much easier on you planning wise and its pretty even steven from both families so things are "fair'. 2) is one family more well off than the other? If so, they would be more likely to be able to cover the cost of a flight so having it closer to the other family might be a good option.
Good luck
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VIP October 2019
SummerBrideInAutumn · on March 7, 2019 at 9:14 AM
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Have it where you live. It’s much easier for you to plan a local wedding. And if some guests are going to have to travel, why not make it fair and make everyone travel.

I’m from Ohio. FH is from Wisconsin. We met and live in Atlanta and have friends and family located all over the country. For us, it was just a no-brainer to get married in Atlanta.
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VIP July 2019
Summerbride77 · on March 7, 2019 at 11:40 AM
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I agree with this. We line in CO, my dad and his family are in MA, my mom’s family is...everywhere (NH, SC, FL, GA, CO), FH’s family is in CT, NY and Hawaii, my mom is in NJ, and our wedding party is spread between MA, NC, and CT.

Yes, New England would have been most convienent for most of our guest list but no matter what we did a big chunk of people would have to travel. So we decided to have it near where we live and I’m the state we love. I’m so happy we did! It’s made it so much easier to plan and it means we’re actually able to go to the venue for planning meetings rather than doing everything other the phone.
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