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J
Savvy October 2019

Need advice..

Jessica , on August 19, 2019 at 3:01 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 19
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Okay so here’s the scoop, i have a good friend who has now been in a relationship for over a year. Last year when I started to make the guest list they had only been dating a month or so and my friend told me she didn’t need a plus one since it was nothing serious. Now, they are serious, and just today we talked about him possibly coming. My wedding is 2 months away. I have no problem with him coming, but the thing is, my MOH and my friend are close and had got a room together with 2 queen beds. All of my other friends that are coming are in long term relationships and have their boyfriends coming. So my MOH and this friend kinda had each other, and if I now let my friend bring her boyfriend I don’t want my MOH to be upset and feel like a lone wolf. It also messes up the rooming a little. My MOH is not dating anyone and doesn’t really have anyone she’d bring as a plus one.. so my problem is, I dont want to not let my friends boyfriend come because they are now living together, in a serious relationship, but only being two months away I don’t want to upset my MOH by changing these plans.. and putting her in a bit of a complicated situation. Help!!!!

19 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on August 20, 2019 at 1:11 PM
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    You should invite the boyfriend. No questions. MOH can figure out her own room situation.

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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    If you like the boyfriend I would invite him. It’s up to the girls to decide if that’s going to be an issue with rooming together. I wouldn’t think it would be a big deal though. But if you do decide to invite him, I would give your MOH a heads up so she’s not blindsided, and consider asking her again if there’s someone she would like to bring as a date.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Agreed. You shouldn't exclude your friend's SO just because your MOH is single.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    The boyfriend should be invited. It's up to the BM and your MOH to figure out the rooming situation.

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  • Keri
    Expert November 2019
    Keri ·
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    You should invite him. Your friend/MOH can figure out their hotel accommodations.

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  • J
    Savvy October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    I just feel bad kind of blindsiding her so close to the wedding. Also of note, my bridal shower is this Sunday and I don’t want any drama😭 I feel it’s easier to keep the guest list as is and that’s gonna be the least upsetting to everyone involved
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Why would it be upsetting or why would there be drama? I would guess there would be more drama not inviting a BMs significant other....

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  • J
    Savvy October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    Just because it’s close to the wedding and this friend said up until now that it was fine if he didn’t come. I don’t want my MOH to feel like she’s by herself while everyone else is coupled up, which I know isn’t my problem that everyone else is coupled up but I still feel bad
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  • Devoted December 2019
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    It’s for one weekend of her life, your MOH will live. Also 2 months isn’t “blindsiding” her. She has 2 whole months to get her own hotel room. If she needs extra money to cover a hotel room by herself maybe offer to pitch in the other half that your other bridesmaid would have contributed?
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  • J
    Savvy October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    This other friend is not in the wedding party, just a guest. That’s why I’m torn.
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  • Devoted December 2019
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    She’s still in a serious relationship...and has been for a year. Your MOH is an adult in assuming. She should be able to handle this. She can hang out with the other bridesmaids, mutual friends, etc. if you truly feel that badly then offer your MOH to invite a friend, even if it isn’t an SO
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    Agree with this 100%

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Yeah you should invite him 100%. Accommodations can be figured out by them, it's not your concern really - it's also not that weird for your friend+bf to share a hotel room with your MOH. My H and i have done that kind of thing at plenty of weddings.

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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    You should definitely invite your friend's boyfriend. And your MOH should have a plus one as well so she can decide if she wants to bring someone along - doesn't have to be someone she's dating.

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    Yeah, invite the boyfriend. Make sure the friend lets MOH know so they can sort out the room situation. Not your problem.

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  • Suzie
    Super October 2021
    Suzie ·
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    Invite the bf. You're giving your MOH two months notice, so it’s not blindsiding her. Plus, it’s YOUR day, so it’s your choice. Offer her a plus one again since the room situation may change. Maybe she will change her mind and invite someone after all. Also, your friend who is now bringing her SO should find new accommodations, since she is the one changing the plans. Your MOH should be able to keep the room they originally booked. If you’re able to afford it, offer to cover the other half, OR tell your friend with the SO that she should still honor her agreement with MOH and pay half the room and get a new room. May seem extreme, but she’s the one changing it up.

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  • Celeste
    Dedicated October 2019
    Celeste ·
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    Exactly this. Invite the BF, but your friend should also bend over backwards to be kind to your MOH, since they are also close, and she and MOH were going to be wedding buddies. I hope we can all empathize with being the sole single in a group - the new BF is the interloper, not your MOH. So how about he's the lucky guy with two great dates? And of course friend will still cover her half of the room.

    And you are a good and kind friend for thinking about this. Many people wouldn't.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Every single person, without a current regular date or partner, knows that new relationships will develop among their other single friends. And plans get changed. That's life. Help her change her reservation to a single room. Nothing more needs to be said or done
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  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
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    You should invite the boyfriend. Leave it to your friend and MOH to sort out the room arrangements. You don't have to help coordinate that.

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