Need Advice!!

As long as you find an officiant to do your small wedding I say do it

You'll have a big grand "wedding" at which you won't end up legally married? As a guest, I would definitely not go to that.

Sooo I originally wanted to be married May 2019, I had my pinterest board ready ect. However the weekend I wanted was booked by people's birthdays and mother's day (oops). Long story short we are now getting married this October, and I'm more excited for it than the May date I had wanted. Truthfully, it all comes down to you guys coming together in marriage. A date is just a date, the unity and choice to bind your lives is what matters most 🤗

If you like it and the May 1st date is that important to you, then what other people think doesn’t really matter. I will say, I wanted a Summer wedding and we are doing an early fall wedding and I’m so excited just to be marrying my best friend. The date wasn’t as important as us coming together. But you do what makes you happy

It's your day. Guests don't have to know it wasn't legal. It's like eloping but backwards!

If you do that, I wouldn't tell people. I don't recall seeing your post about the May date, so I have no idea why that certain day is so important to you. However, if you aren't worried about your friends and family being hurt or angry when they find out they've been lied to, go for it. I could understand why someone would marry legally before the big wedding much easier than why they would go through the big production of a wedding but not make it legal for two months afterwards. You can always go to the courthouse or find an officiant to legally marry you on any day, so I don't see that as being the problem. But it's your wedding and if your fiance is agreeable to this, nothing says you can't postpone the legal marriage until May!

If it works for you & ur future FS then go for it!

Seems like it would done in the other order... the small intimate legal wedding first and then a larger ceremony/celebration.

The way you described it, I don’t see the point of the May event when you can do all the legal parts in March.

I think it would make more sense to do it the other way - legal ceremony in March, vow renewal in May

Like other posters have said, I don't know why the May date is important to you specifically, but it definitely might feel not super great for friends/family who came to see you get married if they find out you didn't actually get married until months later. Ultimately, it's obviously up to you and your FH, but I think a good option might be to do a vow renewal in May instead, if May is important to you?

I'm confused. You wanted a May wedding but settled for March but want to take a wedding and really get legally married in May? What is the importance of the Month? I think you do the wedding at the same time...as the wedding but there may be something more to it that makes that date important. We are getting legally wed in the states with his two children (boys) the day before we leave for our destination wedding in Jamaica. Most of that is the hassle of the our of county marriage documents and the time to get the records. The other part is including his kids since this is a small adults only all-,inclusive. I wish it were all on the same day but we are not making it well known that we will be legally wed before Jamaica. I imagine that our legal marriage date will be our anniversary. I cant imagine doing it in reverse that far apart but do whatever makes you and you FH happy. We are both May babies so I'm am a fan of May. We are getting married Thanksgiving week.

I would stick with the March for the legal ceremony and renew vows on the May date if it has significance to you. As a PP said, if I were invited to a ceremony where you weren't legally married at the end, I wouldn't go.