Need Advice!

Your wedding is over, it's not like they're trying to steal your shine. If you have some kind of anniversary trip or other plans, don't attend. But to skip their wedding just because it's your anniversary weekend? That's ridiculous. How does your husband feel about it?

I agree with PP's, I don't think this is worth being upset over. Let alone losing relationships with your family. If it was your actual wedding date, then I could see being a little upset about it, but not to this degree. It sounds like they didn't have any other options and it isn't the same date as yours anyways, I don't see the problem.

I agree with others that unless you've already booked significant travel for that weekend, you are blowing this way out of proportion. Hopefully, you are going to have lots of anniversaries over the years and can celebrate each of them; however, the date is probably going to conflict with other events pretty frequently. Yes, to you and H, your first anniversary will be a milestone, but I'd celebrate it on another day in order to attend your BIL's wedding. Our wedding anniversary is usually Father's Day weekend; honestly, that's pretty much always been the major focus of the weekend for everyone -- including H since he's a DAD. It seems like you'll frequently have other events, like Mother's Day celebrations, graduations, other weddings, etc., "competing" with your anniversary date. May is a popular wedding & graduation month. I'd try to adjust my thinking if I were you. (The fact MIL has already called you "juvenile" and told you to "grow up," seems like a pretty good indicator that your H's family sees your reaction as very self-centered -- that's probably not a good thing. I'd try to fix that perception ASAP.) Good luck!

As others have said, unless you have a trip planned and paid for already, you need to get over it. You have plenty of years to celebrate your anniversary and it would be incredibly sad to miss your family's wedding. Make a long weekend out it and celebrate after your brother in law's wedding.

You need to let this go. Don't skip your husband's brother's wedding to do something for your own anniversary unless you made nonrefundable plans already. If they picked the exact same wedding date as you I could understand being upset, but it would be selfish to skip their wedding just because it's the weekend before your anniversary. You can do something fun the day of your anniversary still, or do something the weekend after considering that your anniversary will be on a Monday!

I agree with everyone else that this isn't something to hold a grudge over. Feel your feelings, vent (a little) to your husband, and then move on with plans to attend your brother-in-law's wedding.

I did want to address this:

"I think I'm more upset because we planned a year in advance and they waited until 6 months before and of course they only have 1 venue and 1 weekend to choose from (Mother's Day Weekend) and of course it's our wedding anniversary weekend."

Their planning or [perceived] lack of planning is completely irrelevant. There's nothing wrong with planning a wedding in 6 months, and this is just added evidence that they didn't choose this date to hurt you.

Yes you are wrong for making this an issue. How and when another couple plans their day is not up to you. They went with the day that was available to them because 6 months was the timeframe they had to plan for whatever reason. It is your anniversary weekend, you can still celebrate. Unless you already booked a trip for your anniversary, I would think you would be there to celebrate another happy union. If not, you risk ruining family relationships and that never ends well.

Wow! I've seen people complaining that a sibling had a wedding too close to yours, but this is taking it a step farther--it's not close to your wedding, and it's not even on your anniversary.

If you had already put down deposits on an expensive anniversary trip, I could see missing the brother's wedding. But otherwise, being resentful because their wedding is close to your anniversary, and threatening not to go on that basis, seems a bit over the top.

I agree with PPs that you're overreacting. You had your day, now let them have theirs