Need advice on court house weddings.

FH and I decided to buy a house first. We had a sum of money we knew could only go towards one or the other. So we bought our dream home and delayed our engagement/wedding. It was frustrating at times not being married when we wanted to be (and watching others getting engaged and married before us), but it was worth it. We talked about a courthouse wedding, but I knew it wasn't what I wanted and I would be disappointed if we went through with it. We ended up saving the money we needed for the wedding way faster than expected and our parents contributed more than we dreamed they would. So, in the end, it all worked out.

That all said, that was just my experience. I don't know you or your FH or your finances. I don't know your relationship with your parents or how they plan on contributing. I don't know how much a big wedding means to you. But those are all things you should think about. Just remember that the end result will be the same. You will be married to the love of your life and you will get your dream home some day. Just take some time, crunch some numbers, and figure out the when and how.

ETA: spelling

My parents married in the courthouse. It was their second marriage and my Mom's Dad had passed away and she didn't feel right having a celebration without him (no reception, but a dinner at her Mom's house with the close family).

If the choice was house vs. wedding, I would probably pick the house. You could always have the big vow renewal later!

We didn't necessarily have a "courthouse wedding", we actually got married at the park in front of the bench where we had our first date/where he proposed to me. Our parents came, and I face timed my dad and brother in to see because it was literally a 48 hour decision. It definitely wasn't the plan, but I don't regret it, and honestly if we hadn't already spent thousands of non refundable money beforehand, our little ceremony could have been it and I would have been happy. BUT because we couldn't be at peace with leaving so much money on the table, we moved our date and just plan to have a "celebration of marriage" type of deal later.

If a smaller wedding is what you want, go with it. If you feel a pang of regret you can always do a vow renewal down the line if it's that important.

This was actually an option previously for my FH and I not because of cost or wanting a home as I already have a mortgage and this is where we live. We thought of doing that exact thing with a nice dinner after to reduce stress and having to cut guests and a little to do with cost. We also found it cosy and fun. We went against it in the end and are ending up with 75 persons all still close and a cosy B&B with a cocktail reception. We decided we could actually afford this plus I wanted a fun reception for me and my guests (I thought if regret having that moment as well as missing out on walking down the aisle). Might seem trivial but they are some things you look back on. On the other side we said if we had the courthouse wedding and dinner that we could probably do something bigger for our 5th or 10th anniversary. But we want kids like now! And we prefer to put our money to raising a family (another reason for us doing the wedding now). Loads to consider... All the best!

Personally, I would choose the house and have the nice dinner. You can still have some of the perks of a reception but on a smaller scale so you can purchase the house. A house is such a wonderful investment and the market is still in a great position to purchase.

My parents got married in the courthouse well over 25 years ago and still married. It never changed how they feel about one another and I've never heard my Mom stop and say she wished she had a reception. She had a nice dinner w/the people she loves, small cake, photographer, etc.

I think people have placed such a huge emphasis on the what makes a quality start to a marriage. The truth is the people who put in the work for a lifetime is what marriage is really about. I wish I had opted for something smaller and more intimate.

Loving @monee_darnel's response. Well said

Second story. My sister eloped and had a vow renewal/reception on their one year anniversary. She always says how she wouldn't have changed it for the world. That said, she also is not a big wedding person and loved not having anyone there (literally the photographer, the officiant, and them). To her, the vow renewal/reception wasn't anything but a way to appease the family with something semi traditional. But she doesn't consider that day her wedding at all. Her elopement was her wedding.

Remember that whenever you choose to get married is your wedding day. You don't get two (well, not the way we're talking anyway). So make sure that however it happens, you love it and can live with it. My sister couldn't be happier with her decision. I'm not sure I'd be able to say the same.

There are a lot of shades of grey between jumping on a Vespa and going to the courthouse and 300 people at a venue.

Find a great officiant, find a great little restaurant or B&B, have a wonderful ceremony and then a sweet little reception for your 20 closest friends and family.

What will you regret? Nothing.

We originally planned on going to the city hall and having a nice dinner with our closest family and friends. I called city hall for information about reserving dates, we picked a restaurant for dinner, I bought a long white skirt that I planned to pair with a nice white shirt for our city hall wedding. Then I thought about celebrating with our whole (ridiculously large) families and people reminiscing about our wedding in the future and walking down the aisle and all of that kind of stuff and changed my mind. Now we have a guest list that's about 250 people and our wedding is a money pit, thankfully my parents are generously funding most of it though. Sometimes I think about how nice it would be to have the simple city hall ceremony and dinner and wish we went that way, but I didn't want to regret having the big wedding that I also wanted.

I will say that if we were choosing between buying a house or having a big wedding we'd choose the house. If my parents said here's X amount of dollars, you can decide if you want to spend it on a wedding or a house or whatever we'd probably choose the house. I'm kind of glad they didn't do that because that would be a hard decision and I do want the wedding we're planning.