Need advice: Every member of entire extended family gave no card (not even expecting gift)

Honestly they probably just forgot. In the hustle and bustle of organizing and traveling to a wedding, it happens. I would not let this hurt your feelings but instead be happy to came to celebrate your big day

You are allowed to feel hurt, but there's nothing to do about this other than feel your feelings and then move on with your life. Keeping score (measuring amount you spent vs. amount they spent) doesn't help you with anything in the long run.

Also, not everyone feels the same way you do about cards. Many consider them to be worthless pieces of paper. Maybe these relatives feel that the act of traveling and showing up at your wedding adequately conveys how they feel about you.

I'm just going to be honest and say it, it's rude to show up to a wedding without a card or gift. Maybe they forgot and will mail it to you is all I can hope for. I'm sorry you went through all the accommodations for them and didn't get a thanks and congrats!

I can see why you feel very frustrated but honestly if I were not giving a wedding gift, which I always do, I wouldn't think to just give a card. I personally think that some people don't know certain etiquette rules in regards to a wedding. I have heard for years how some people don't RSVP and then just show up the day of but even on here how two people are invited to the wedding but they try to sneak in their kids. I wouldn't let this bring you down because on the other token even though you help make their travel easy maybe in their mind they felt that since they took time to travel for your wedding that was gratitude enough. Don't let that bring you down and just focus on your new married life with your soulmate.

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Technically it's considered rude to show up to a wedding with a card or gift - you're supposed to send it to their house before or after the wedding. Also, if you're so inclined to give a gift you have up to a year to do so.

I am not expecting any cards or gifts. I put on my website i consider them coming as my gift especially since I am asking them to stay in the hotel with me to celebrate the big day.

i bet they just forgot. I think that is awesome that you did that to get them all there and I hope they appreciate that. people now a days don't send mail cards anymore as all online so they probably didn't even think about it.

I can see why you feel frustrated but hope you don't take it personally or stress.

What makes this extra weird is that when the matriarch of this side was asked about it, she said "the value of a personal visit is far greater than the value of a paper card". Its so weird. Like our wedding was just some "personal visit". It just feels like the formality and importance of our wedding is getting completely brushed aside. By an ENTIRE extended family.

Long story short do I send a thank you card? Especially after that was said? I'm not really thrilled about being in a bitter exchange but this all just feels so weird.

Yea I can feel your annoyance and understand it because I’d feel bad not giving a gift or card at least. But remember they did make their way there and although you were accommodating, it’s still a lot of effort to travel so I’d just let it go and accept they came

"...she said 'the value of a personal visit is far greater than the value of a paper card'".

This speaks to different values and priorities (similar to the "love languages"). Many people DO actually prioritize spending time with others ("personal visit") over gifts and that's completely valid. I understand you do not feel the same and that is also valid.

But at the end of the day, there is still nothing you can do about this so I would work towards letting go of the bitterness for your own mental health's sake. And no, you don't need to send thank you cards, since those are for gifts. The reception itself is a thank you to anyone who attended your wedding.

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I think you missed the point where I said this is not about the gift. I even said in the title that we don't feel entitled to a gift. It's about the acknowledgment of the formality of the day.

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I didn't miss the point (in this case gifts and cards are the same thing). But whether you feel like I am understanding you or not, there is still NOTHING you can do to change this situation, other than learning to move past it.

I’m a relatively young bride, 26, and living in the south a lot of people I know got married young, right after college generally. I didn’t know you were suppose to give cards or gifts to them unless you were invited to the shower. I know now as bride, it’s pretty typical to expect a gift from anyone that’s can afford it. I didn’t have a job for some of the weddings I attended, I don’t feel bad about not getting gifts for them. But the ones where I had a job and didn’t get a gift for, I feel bad about. It was ignorance in my case. I felt like they invited me so I could spend time with them and watch them get married. But I did let them know how happy I was to be invited via text or in person.
To me, they don’t deserve a hand written thank you note for attending. At most a text to the head of each family to acknowledge their attendance.

Thanks everyone for your responses. I have learned in the last few days that having others validate your feelings 10, 20, 100 times over wont change anything and is not always the most productive way to move on. That being said those of you who said there’s nothing I can do and to let it go are correct. So, I’ll be doing precisely that