Need advice about Maid of honor's boyfriend

Your MOH gets a plus one regardless. They may or may not be dating by the time of your wedding. I'd hold off on talking to her or having any feelings towards this issue at the moment.

It is your day and if you do not want him there then don't invite him and if she is your REAL FRIEND then she would understand and if she has a BF then she wasn't your friend to began with

I'm pretty sure the general consensus here is that threats of violence or acts of violence are suitable grounds for not inviting someone.

Olive branches can be extended from either side, it doesn't sound like you've tried to resolve the issue either if you let 9 months go without doing anything

Were these threats a one-time thing, OP?

I went through a similar scenario, except it was her husband. I finally went and met her for coffee and expressed to her why I would not be inviting her husband and offered for her to bring her oldest son. She said she would not come without him so I had to accept that, it was either invite them both and deal with him coming or not invite either. But this is something you need to address asap before she buys a dress or makes any financial commitments

ETA- you absolutely do NOT have to invite him, but you do have to understand if she decides to back out because of your decision

Ummm excuse my language but f**k that guy. This is your wedding not your maid of honor and if you can't trust her judgement on not bringing him don't give her a plus one. In reality she's going to be too busy to be bored and lonely. But hopefully they brake up and then you don't have to deal with.

I would say "MOH, you're my best friend, I love you and respect that you have the right to date whomever you choose. Given that your bf threatened physical violence on FH, I can't, at this time, imagine him being at the wedding. If things change in the next few months and we no longer feel like he could cause harm, I'd be glad to reconsider". It's a tough thing to say to someone but deep down inside, she must recognize that him threatening your FH was not cool.

Your maid of honor should get a plus one. Maybe instead of saying "he can't come" sit down with her and discuss the situation. Say "we want him to come but we are nervous about this, this and this." That way you can discuss the situation and maybe bury the hatchet. I would avoid saying "MOH, He is not allowed to come." That would more than likely but a huge strain on your friendship and may cause her not to come. If that is something you are okay with to avoid him not being there -- that's your decision to make.

Threats of violence and acts of violence are one of the few times it is understandable to not invite someone's SO. However, you also should be prepared for the possibility that she may step down as your MOH when you tell her. She is still with him, so clearly she still values that relationship and she may be offended by your request. Its a tough situation to be in.

The exact same situation is happening to me! My MOH SO is super controlling and has a short temper and doesn't mind throwing a huge fit no matter where he is. He's never threatened me or FH but I know he has her. I'm worried he's not going to allow her to be at my wedding and it really sucks because she's my bestfriend. He is still invited even though I'd really rather he not be...and if he causes any trouble for me her or any of my guests he will be thrown out immediately

If you're talking serious concern over you or your guests' safety then I think you need to talk to your friend and let her know he won't be invited and she can make the decision to come or not. If you're talking fight like, we just don't get along, then he should be invited