Necessary or unnecessary?

I couldn't agree more. Especially the wedding favors

Save the dates,programs & boutineer we did away with.

Bouquet are good for pictures & walking down the aisle. Favors are not for everyone. However.. if it's something they will use. Like magnets or personalized pens or cup, then it's worth it. They will always remember your day & have a nice "thank you" from you.

We went with cups. Ordered them on Amazon.

I mean, none of that is necessary. The only necessary part of getting married is following the legal and religious (if you are religious) requirements.

The rest is fluff, party, and pomp and circumstance.

I'm skipping wedding favors for this very reason. I really don't see the point. Just get your slice of cake and go home.

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. Eikukn this is true, very well said.

I mean I would rather spend the money on the food, drinks and entertainment which is the only reason to have a wedding in the first place, I mean if you can't pay for that then just go to the JP or local church and be done.

I completely agree! That's why we have absolutely no wedding party (we saved a ton of money this way and our friends love us for it), no programs, etc. We opted for gift bags instead of favors since it's a destination wedding. Do it how you two want to do it! It's your party.

No favors or programs for us. We are doing save the dates but half our guest list is out of state.

The food, drink, and entertainment make the party.

But I am a sucker for pretty things, so my wedding will probably be at least a little glitzed out.

Just have our Maid/Man of honors and ourselves. I understand save the dates when they live out of state Sovatastic makes sense. Thank you all for your advice. I think I'm taking them out and making sure my guest are entertained, feed, and have a good time. Let's just enjoy living in the moment.

Since me and my hunny just decided on having a wedding, and not wanting to spend money we rather spend on our daughters, we will not be doing any of those. Except for the bouquets and boutonnieres. My two maids of honor and my flower girl will have bouquets. And only my hunny will have a boutonniere. But no favors, no program cards, no save the dates. Our center pieces will be nice favors people can take home and I'm sure everyone will enjoy(well at least until the flowers die).

We ended up saving a lot by purchasing as our centerpieces, aisle runner, and some other things by purchasing them from a FB wedding site, we happened to know the bride too. It wasn't the exact vision we originally had but they were very pretty, and only cost us about $150 for 40 tables worth of centerpieces. We wanted to use the extra money for food and alcohol.

Love that idea Melissa. Thanks for sharing. The centerpieces and take home cake boxes, I'm sure will be enough for my guest.

The only things you need for a wedding are:

* A partner

* An officiant

* A marriage license

* In some states, witnesses (never more than two)

Everything else is optional. That includes dress, photography, more than two guests, etc. My view is, you start with what you need to have, and add things only to the extent they are important to you. So I'd never judge someone for having an expensive dress or whatever. But the idea that you have to have all the traditional wedding things is absurd.

Favors are always unnecessary ( pass for cultures where the couple would be scorned for not providing those horrible Jordan Almonds).

No one wants a personalized pen or cup.

I agree!!

I skipped all of that except for the STDs. That was my yolo item.

I'm not doing save the dates, programs or boutonnieres. However, I am doing favors because mine will be drinkable and hopefully will be used.

I agree - the only things necessary are the things required by law to be legally married. The other things are either culturally or traditionally expected, or are just part of the couple's vision for their day (I generally hate using the word vision cos of its negative connotations here, but I couldn't think of another alternative word).

Some things become necessary because of something else optional that you are doing. For example, if you having a reception, then it is necessary to provide food and alcohol, chairs for people to sit on, a cocktail hour if there is a gap, etc.

Different things are also important to different people. For example, I had a religious ceremony, so I think the programs were important so that the guests could follow and knew what responses to give. Our boutonniere's were really cheap, and I think that it was nice for the men in my wedding party to stand out a bit. They cost us R15 each, so I mean really didn't break the bank.

Things I think are unnecessary: expensive wedding dresses you'll only wear once (and by expensive, I don't just mean the super pricey ones. I pretty much think all wedding dresses are expensive). I also don't understand the need to buy getting-ready props, separate outfits for bridal showers and rehearsal dinners, rehearsal dinners in general (not a thing in South Africa), etc.

We're only doing STD magnets because we've got too many oot guests, and bouquets & boutonnieres for pictures. We're definitely spending the money on food & alcohol.