Hi, Everyone -
My fiancé and I have ran into another roadblock (once again, instigated by my MIL). Like I've said in previous posts, we anticipate having between 40-50 people attend our wedding. Much of the guest list consists of our closest family and friends. We have our list pretty much finalized. Here is where it gets messy. My MIL was talking with my fiancé and I on a group text message conversation about some of our wedding visions, etc. and we touched on the guestlist. My MIL asked my fiancé if he planned to invite her brother/his uncle (he only talks to him about a couple times a year, and they are not close at all). My fiancé was honest and responded with, "I didn't really think about it." In other words, he was trying to be gentle with his reply and give her a polite "no". She then responded with "It's your wedding, there's no obligation, I was just wondering." So we both assumed the conversation was done and there were no issues.
Fast forward to the next day...my MIL gives me a call (again, instead of going to her son and addressing this, she calls me). She tells me: "Dan (her husband, my fiance's stepdad) and I were talking and we were thinking that we'd like you to invite these 4 people (she lists off the names, one being her brother/my fiance's uncle from the conversation the day before), because there are going to be so many people from your side and Ryan's (my fiancé) Dad's side and Dan and I are going to look a little pathetic because we don't have anyone from our side of the family there, etc. etc. etc."
I didn't give her any straightforward answer because again, this was something that needed to be discussed with my fiancé and I wasn't going to speak for him. While we understand where she is coming from, the reason why we didn't have anyone from her side/her husband's side of the family is because of one simple thing - we are not close with them. My fiancé said the same thing, the people he has down on our guestlist to invite are the people that he has been the closest with, both past and present. We think that this once again has to do more with her feelings and her being concerned about their image (hence the "we're going to look pathetic" comment) at our wedding. My fiancé was also irritated at the fact that she had just told him the day before that there was no obligation to invite anyone from her side and it's our wedding. Why the sudden change?
Anyways, I know that the guestlist should ultimately be up to the bride and groom. I myself am not inviting anyone from my Dad's side of the family, either for the same reason of not being close to them. I am still cordial whenever someone from my Dad's side calls or visits (which is very rare) but I am not going to invite them to our wedding because I'd rather have closer family and friends there instead. We are not trying to shun anyone or make anyone feel bad, but my fiancé is upset that his mom/my MIL is once again trying to tell us what to do. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to navigate this?