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kaylarae
Master April 2015

Narrowing down Bridesmaids

kaylarae, on January 23, 2014 at 2:04 PM Posted in Planning 0 9

I need some unbiased advice! We've decided on a small bridal party, its what we both prefer. Our plan was 3 each, my FH is asking his 3 best friends. On my side was my best friend for MOH, my younger sister and in the 3rd spot I was going to have my friend Caleigh. Caleigh and I grew up going to school together from kindergarten through University and are still friends now. Over the years we've only gotten closer. We take trips together in the summer to a country music festival near our hometown & for my 21st birthday we went to Nashville. I have another friend though who I've been friends with since the day we were born (literally, our moms were friends before pregnancy and we were born 5 days apart). Her family moved away when she was 7. I still consider her a good friend and we keep in touch making trips when possible, however she hasn't been there for me as much as the others (and she's so busy with school!)..

Is it rude not to ask her? I've been so torn!

9 Comments

Latest activity by Amy L, on January 23, 2014 at 2:42 PM
  • LG
    Master October 2014
    LG ·
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    Not at all. It sounds like you are much closer to the other woman anyway. If it upsets you that you can't have her stand up, you can always ask her to do a reading or something.

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  • michele
    VIP October 2014
    michele ·
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    The way I see it, your ladies are gonna be your backbone. You need them for whatever details you need help with, and if they can't physically be by your side, then oh well. I'm having problems with one of my BM, she works 7 days a week, I can't get an appt for her to look at dresses, it's getting stressful.

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  • Lynnie Pin
    Super February 2014
    Lynnie Pin ·
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    Id go with the first girl. It seems like you love both of them dearly but looks to me like friend 1 can handle it better, plus im guessing she lives closer which is a lot less strain when it comes time to pick out dresses and get advice etc

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  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
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    Ask them both - even sides don't matter, it's about having your nearest and dearest stand up with you.

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  • J
    Just Said Yes October 2014
    Jenna ·
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    Kayla! I completely understand. I'm in the same place now. Something that I am considering, and think you should consider too, is making one of them your personal attendant! That way she feels included, important and gets to be just as close to you as the bridesmaids?! Just an idea Smiley smile

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  • Lori
    Master June 2015
    Lori ·
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    I agree with Emily--having the people who are important to you up there with you is way more important than having a certain number of people. I don't think you should focus on getting the right "number" of people, and just think about who you really, honestly want with you on your day.

    And please don't make anyone a personal attendant. It's basically saying "I don't care enough about you to put you in my bridal party, but please be my slave for a day." But there are other ways you can ask people to get involved, like being an usher or doing a reading.

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  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
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    Sorry I don't agree with personal attendants at all. It's basically saying that they aren't good enough to be a bridesmaid but you still want them to do various wedding tasks and some brides even make them buy a specific dress. It's insulting.

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  • Katie
    VIP May 2014
    Katie ·
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    I'd go with what your gut is telling you. It sounds like you're leaning to friend 1. Maybe see if friend 2 can do a reading during the ceremony. That way they both can be involved.

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  • Amy L
    VIP September 2014
    Amy L ·
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    Go with your gut but as yourself this question who do you think will still be in your life 10 years from now?maybe both is the answer but who will you be closer with

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