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Just Said Yes November 2025

Names of wedding party

Reagan, on February 17, 2025 at 1:41 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 2

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I have a best friend that I want to be my maid of honor and a married best friend that I would like to be my matron of honor. My sister (who I am not close with) assumes she is my maid of honor and I am in a situation. My sister has made comments about not going to have a good time at my wedding and that she just wants to be put to work during the wedding because she “won’t have anything else to do”. Obviously growing up I always talked about her being my maid of honor but that has changed as I got older and she assumed she was going to be my maid of honor still. I know the simply and easiest option is to simply just tell her she’s not but I feel a weird way about doing that and am uncertain if there is something I should do. And don’t want any avoidable family drama!

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Latest activity by Sagan, on March 4, 2025 at 12:31 PM

Super March 2022
JA · on February 20, 2025 at 2:32 PM
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If you just want to "keep the peace" My advice would be don't have any maids/matrons of honor. Just have everyone be called a bridesmaid. Tell your sister that everyone is close to you and special to you in different ways and that it doesn't feel right to pick.
You can still have the girls who would have been your maid/matron of honor do the bigger things like speeches and such, but maybe ask the three of them to work together to plan the shower and/or bachelorette (or let sister plan one and the other girls plan the other)
It sounds like your sister just wants to be involved, so asking for her opinion on things like colors or flowers or invites (even if you don't really care what she thinks) can make her feel included and avoid the drama
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Super July 2017
Sagan · on March 4, 2025 at 12:31 PM
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I also had a sister who made assumptions about her role in my wedding…we weren’t close and our relationship had been tumultuous for many years (addiction, mental illness, general evil on her behalf). My two younger sisters and five friends stood up for me. To “keep the peace” I invited her to the wedding, where she got belligerent, tried to fight one of my bridesmaids, may have physically assaulted my dad, called me a self righteous itchb and the c-word.

All that to say, that if I could do it again, I still wouldn’t make her a bridesmaid. You deserve to choose your people, and her assumptions are not your problem.
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Names of wedding party

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