Name change

I wouldn't want to share a name with my ex instead of my current spouse, but that's a personal decision. It's not uncommon anymore for children to have a different name from one of their parents.

I feel the opposite of PP. It would be important to me to keep the same last name as my children.

As Caytlyn said, this is a very personal decision. My mom took my stepdad’s last name when they got married, even though my sister and I have/had our dad’s name (she now has her husband’s last name, hence the past tense). We were about your sons’ ages when they married, 15 and 13. There were no issues with us having a different last name than our mom, either document/school wise or emotionally. Maybe bring up the conversation with your sons if you’re concerned, but ultimately the decision is up to you.

It’s definitely a personal decision. I am hyphenating because it’s important for me to share a last name with my daughter from a prior marriage. For me, it keeps the three of us connected (FH, me and my daughter)


Don’t let the opinions of others affect the reasoning behind what you are considering for yourself

You really have to make this decision for yourself. I agree with talking to your sons and get their opinion on the subject.


I am keeping my maiden name because my daughter has my name and it is important to both her and I that we continue having the same name. She loves that her and I are so much alike and our names are the same. My FH completely understands. Sure he was disappointed, but he understands and supports it.

I come from divorced parents, and my mom took my step-dad's name when they remarried. It was very important for her on a traditional and also spiritual level, since she got to distance herself from my bio dad. It's a personal decision definitely, but it's also showing your kids that you can move on and grow from previous relationships. We didn't feel alienated at all - we felt like she was doing something for herself and moving on.

Its definitely a personal decision and unfortunately not an easy one.
When I got divorced I kept my married name because of wanting to have the same name as my boys. After a year I was ready to go back to my maiden name because it felt like the last piece to moving on.
I'm now getting remarried and will be taking my new husbands last name. The boys are totally ok with it. We talked about how we'll all be part of his family too and it doesn't make us any less family. They are 12, 10, and 8. I think as long as you are open with them and talk to them about it, itll help with your decision.

Please, please, don’t keep your ex’s name. Your kids are old enough that it’s okay. If you feel you must keep it, hyphenated is the way to go.


My fiancé said that his friends wife chose to keep her ex’s last name “for the sake of the kids” & he felt emasculated & like he wasn’t as important. The kids were about your children’s ages. It ended up they got divorced and she tried to get back with her ex.....
NOT saying that’s your case, but given the children’s ages maybe take his, or hyphenate