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Super August 2019

Name Change Dilema for Groom

Saydee, on July 12, 2019 at 9:51 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 20

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Ok, so I have an uncommon issue but praying I can find someone who knows or went through similar.

My fiance has dragged his zzzz and failed to plan to change his last name. He currently uses his former step father's last name, which he hates. He planned on changing it back to his birth last name.

Here we are 7 weeks from the wedding and he hasn't even filed the papers, and asking him about it only gets him upset because he said money is the reason why (he has the money, he just is REALLY frugal and HATES spending it.

I know he can always change it later, but when he signs the marriage license, he has to sign with his current name. After he changes his name, how am I supposed to make the change to his new last name? Do I really have to pay and petition the courts like non-marital name changes?

Really not trying to spend the extra time, effort, and money and trying to figure out the best way to proceed.

Did I mention I hate procrastination?

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20 Comments

Latest activity by Saydee, on July 22, 2019 at 4:23 PM

VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 12, 2019 at 9:54 PM
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Isn't it possible for both of you to change your names after the marriage? Couple's pick new names to use all the time?
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Super September 2020
Naikesha · on July 12, 2019 at 9:57 PM
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I say don’t officially change your last name until he finalized his. This way you don’t have to pay or do they extra leg work. Not taking his name will probably push him to do it quicker.

Yes men are procrastinators.
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Super September 2018
Rachel · on July 12, 2019 at 10:01 PM
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Call your courthouse and ask. I think he’s being short sighted because his delay is potentially risking both of you having to pay the money and spend the time petitioning the court to change your name (as opposed to just him petitioning and you changing via marriage). If it’s simply him being frugal, perhaps you can offer to pay the fee for him to do it and get it over with.
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on July 12, 2019 at 10:36 PM
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Law varies depending on the state.
My husband changed his name. I think cost around $100, he filed a paper and went infront if a judge. After he submitted his paper work, he was called within the week with a court date. It was quick and easy. Call the county clerk and they should be able to help you.
we were just 2 months out when he changed his.
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Super August 2019
Saydee · on July 12, 2019 at 10:37 PM
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They don't allow it in my county/state. I also heard that but have never seen where someone actually was allowed to do so
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Super August 2019
Saydee · on July 12, 2019 at 10:40 PM
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Ours takes at least 5 weeks. We have to run in paper for 4 weeks after filing petition, then get a court date scheduled where we request and then get granted. Our fee is like $200+ plus the cost for publication for 4 weeks
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Super August 2019
Saydee · on July 12, 2019 at 10:42 PM
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I'm almost to the point because we are running out of time, and the only issue later is how do I go about changing my last name? I don't think there is any way around me changing it if it's different than what's on the marriage license application except by petitioning court after he does.
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on July 12, 2019 at 10:44 PM
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Oh, we would have skipped his name change if our process would have been so complicated!
Just tell him if he doesn’t get his name changed in time, you will be changing it what ever name he has at the time of the wedding or not changing it at all.
See if that will give him the kick in the butt he needs. But there’s no sense in you stressing over his name. If he doesn’t get it changed, he doesn’t get it changed.
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on July 13, 2019 at 12:15 AM
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If he doesn't like the expense of changing just his name now, he's really going to hate the expense after the wedding, when it will be twice as much to change both your names.
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on July 13, 2019 at 12:47 AM
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I am not changing my last name officially till after our honeymoon. That is 6 or 7 moths after wedding.
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Dedicated October 2019
Erin · on July 13, 2019 at 12:52 AM
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I’m in a similar boat. FH has wanted to change his last name to his great grandfathers for years (his grandfather was adopt but they never changed his last name). I told him I would change my name once, so whatever name he has when we get married, is the one I’ll take. I offered to pay for an attorney since he procrastinates as well, but he wanted to do it himself and went to the attorney I found and has everything ready to file after his bachelor party next month. It’s easier if he does it before you get married so you’ll only have to do it once and without attorneys, extra fees and a court date.
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Expert August 2019
Sherrie · on July 13, 2019 at 4:11 AM
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Hey! So he actually can change his last name back to his birth last name by choosing that option on the marriage lisence application and you can mark down that you will change yours to his birth last name on the same lisence application as well. They will ask you this when you fill out your application. No attorney needed. We just filled our licence application out and that's an option. Easy peasy!
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Super September 2018
Rachel · on July 13, 2019 at 1:20 PM
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I think just stop by or call the court house/marriage license place and ask. And double check with your local social security administrator, if you can. Every jurisdiction is a little different. When I went to change my name with social security, they barely even looked at my marriage certificate. The DMV, on the other hand, triple checked every single letter they keyed in. 😂
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Super August 2019
Saydee · on July 13, 2019 at 11:52 PM
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Omg for real?! I'll look into this, thank you!!! We still live in his birth state and I think it's still possible to get a copy of his original bc
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Just Said Yes April 2021
Tanjanika · on July 13, 2019 at 11:58 PM
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The best thing I can say it just wait to change your last name until he changes his name or not your marring the person you love everything else is just not as important at the moment
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Expert August 2019
Sherrie · on July 14, 2019 at 10:12 PM
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For REAL!! We've got a weird name change situation like yours and we're doing it via the marriage license application!
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Just Said Yes June 2019
Emily · on July 22, 2019 at 3:37 PM
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Can I ask what state you live in? We are in a very weird name change situation and I'm thinking that our officiant didn't fill out the application correctly for us to create a new last name together.
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Super August 2019
Saydee · on July 22, 2019 at 3:55 PM
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I live in Georgia and I found out that unfortunately we can't change it on the application unless it's a current name. When his name was changed as a minor it completely erased the previous record and I do not believe we can location an original copy.

We spoke with our officiant and she is allowing us to do a symbolic ceremony on our wedding date and once the name change goes though we will perform a private ceremony then with the marriage license. We would still celebrate the 31st as our anniversary but the license would be whatever date we sign.

Thankfully we can go this route instead of pushing back the wedding or having to legally change my name too in court since the marriage license only allows his current name
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Expert August 2019
Sherrie · on July 22, 2019 at 4:22 PM
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I'm in California. We filled out and officiant sends in. The only thing the officiant does is sign it.
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Super August 2019
Saydee · on July 22, 2019 at 4:23 PM
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California is more forgiving. You can make up your own last name there
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