Name Change After Marriage - what to do if you go by your middle name??

You have the option of keeping your maiden last name as a second middle name, but I really think you should make this decision on your own without your parents' input. It's your name!

Your parents want you to get rid of the first name that they gave you? If they liked your middle name better why didn't they just stick with it? I feel like it will be quite a headache for you to completely change your legal first and last name.

Why are they upset about you dropping your last name? If that's what you want to do you should do that.

I have a friend who hyphenated her first-middle names, moved her maiden name to the middle, and took her H's last name.

If you already don't use your legal name, i would just leave your name as is on legal documents, and use your married name if that's what you want to do.

I'm just keeping my maiden as a second middle name. I've never wanted to hyphenate. And really... You're an adult. It's not going to affect your parents one way or the other whatever you decide. It doesn't remove you from the family tree, or anything.

I get it. My extended family calls me by my middle name. I'm going to drop my last name and take FH's. I was already bouncing off ideas about wedding hashtags and my mom expressed she liked the hashtag that combined our last names. My mother didn't change her last name. So even though we have different last names she's protective of women changing their last names at all. I know my dad is going to freak out but I'm not asking for his permission so he'll find out when it's changed on facebook after the wedding.

If I were in your shoes I'd just take your FH's last name. Changing your first name legally sounds like a huge hassle. Unless you're willing to hyphenate. I was born with 2 last names. It's not as terrible as people say. Although I don't use a hyphen, some forms stick the hyphen anyway which is fine.

My advice is assuming it's only your family that's freaking out. If you have any inner doubts by all means keep your maiden or do what you need to do. They can't control your adult name. They need to get over it and they will.

I changed my first name and added a middle name when I was in Kindergarten.

We did have to go to court for it.

The difference here was I completely dropped my original first name, the name I was born with.

And I remember my parents put posters everywhere with my new name on it to remind themselves of this change. It took awhile for my teacher & classmates too because it was in the middle of the year!

And for anyone wondering why, it was because my original name was "ethnic" and my grandparents went to "the home country" and came back & told us my name was bad luck and they needed to change it asap. They took this opportunity to give me a typical American name as my first legal name and added an ethnic middle name.

And I plan on changing my last name to FH's last name, so essentially, my name will be completely different than the name I was born with! Such a weird thing to think about.

Ask your parents if they're going to go to court with you, go through having to post your name change publicly, and pay the fees associated with legally changing your first name.

They'll shut up.

Your name = your choice!

I just added DH's name, so I have two middle names (my given and my maiden name).

Yes I agree with everyone's input! Obviously I care about my parents' feelings but I'm going to change my name however I want to change it. It wouldn't really affect them either way. TBH if it was such a big deal to my parents then they should have just called me by my first name at birth, or switched my first/middle names!

I think it would be a nightmare to change my first, middle and last name at the same time (which would happen if I dropped my first name) and I don't really want to do the hyphen thing. Just wondering if there were any advantages to doing it one way or the other, but it sounds like it really just varies and legally doesn't make a difference. Most things go through your SS# anyways.

@Maria I'm with you! I think dropping my last name and taking FH's makes the most sense and it sounds prettier to me too

I changed my first name and middle name years ago...made my maiden name my middle name and changed my first name which I never used anyways except for legal stuff. I had to go through the court to do it...took about 30 days or so.

If I were in your shoes I would drop the first name I didn't use. That seems like the most logical choice to me. It would simplify things for you to legally be known as the name you go by anyway. And in my jurisdiction there wouldn't be anything complicated about it. You just fill in the full name you wish to be known by after marriage and that's that. Then you take your name change documents to social security/DMV/banking institutions/etc.

Your parents should have changed your first name when they filled out your birth certificate. IMO you should just change your last name like YOU want to. If not I agree with the others who suggest making your parents go through the entire process with you - after all, they're the ones who gave you the name.

In NYS, you have to go through the legal court system if you're changing your first or middle name after marriage. Last name can be changed with Marriage Cert, but first and middle must be done through court system. I was going to change my maiden name to my middle name.