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Dedicated April 2021

My proposal story wording

Jackie, on December 3, 2020 at 9:23 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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I need help making sure my wording is correct and doesn’t sound like it’s dragging on. Rephrase if needed.

The Proposal It started by being the 3 year anniversary trip. (This was Jackie’s idea btw) They would be traveling to NC for the first time together and staying in a Airbnb. The first day was a scheduled hiking day with a tour guide at Black Balsam/ Art Loeb trail. (Rewind back 1 month- Jackie had a customized ring made for this with Mountains engraved on the outside. She discussed her options with the tour guide company and secretly planned this “hiking trip”. She had to figure out how to hide this ring along the trip.)As the pulled close to the parking and meet up with the Guide, Jackie’s excitement grew. They stopped a few times to get some of the beautiful views along the way. While they ate lunch, Jackie signaled to the Guide what spot she was going to ask Chas. Jackie had said to Chas to get a picture of her sitting on the ledge of a cliff. As Jackie snapped a picture seconds before, she got down in one knee and told Chas she took the picture and could turn around. The ring was in a homemade box and of course Chas said yes!
Please help me make this sound better!🥰

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Susan, on December 7, 2020 at 1:22 PM

Master July 2019
Hannah · on December 3, 2020 at 9:34 PM
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For their 3 year anniversary, the couple took a trip to Black Balsam/Art Loeb trail. Jackie secretly planned a romantic engagement during their hike. Once at the perfect spot, Jackie had Chas pose for a picture on the ledge of the cliff. When Chas turned back around from the ledge, Jackie was on one knee with a custom-made ring engraved with the mountain range. Chas said yes, and that was the beginning of the next chapter in their lives.
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Dedicated April 2021
Jackie · on December 3, 2020 at 10:05 PM
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Perfect! 🤩
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on December 4, 2020 at 6:52 AM
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I like the sounding of this one better, the original had a few grammatical errors that I caught
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on December 4, 2020 at 2:02 PM
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Hi Jackie! I think part of what makes these blurbs tough is figuring out whose perspective to write it from! It might be easier to tell the story if you use first person "I" or "we"!!
You could start by saying something about your shared love of hiking, or with the story of the custom ring process and planning of this surprise trip. The How They Asked website has lots of great proposal stories you can read to help you get your creative juices flowing:
Hiking Proposal Stories
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Dedicated April 2021
Jackie · on December 4, 2020 at 2:21 PM
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Yeah basically just a run down . I’m so bad with making things sound “proper”. With all the stress lately ... I think I’m functioning on my last brain cell 🥰😂
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Devoted October 2021
Susan · on December 7, 2020 at 1:22 PM
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Our proposal started on our third year anniversary trip. The first day was a scheduled hiking day with a tour guide at Black Balsam/ Art Loeb Trail in North Carolina. As we pulled up to the parking area to meet up with the guide, Jackie’s excitement grew. We stopped a few times to get some photos of the beautiful views along the way. As we ate lunch, Jackie signaled to the guide what spot she was going to ask Chas, and then asked to Chas to get a picture of her sitting on the ledge of a cliff. As Chas snapped the picture, Jackie got down on one knee and told Chas to turn around. Chas saw a beautiful ring engraved with mountains, nestled in a handmade box, and immediately accepted!
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