Laura
Rockstar November 2019

My officiant forgot about our wedding!

Laura, on September 19, 2019 at 5:59 PM Posted in Planning 0 18
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Our officiant is a guy I used to work with who’s also a part time pastor. We lost our jobs at the company we both work for in January. So granted, haven’t been in touch since then. But the last time I saw him he put the wedding in his calendar. I texted him today just to check in as our date is getting closer. He “forgot”. He needs to plan his anniversary (1 week before our wedding), and he isn’t sure he can make it. He asked to have til Monday to figure out if he can still make it work. He’s a good guy, I think this was an honest ‘I forgot’. But meanwhile, I may need to find an officiant 7 weeks before my wedding! Where do I look? How do I search on WW for ones near my venue, not my house?
Ugh. I’m minor league panicking over this.

18 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn ·

    Holy moly. In the vendors tab you can put in the nearest major city to your venue when searching. I would also recommend checking Thumbtack.

  • S
    Dedicated October 2019
    Stephanie ·
    Relax. Worst case you can have a Justice of the peace do it. I had one for my first wedding. It may not be a pastor but it would be a legal marriage.
  • Peggy
    Master November 2019
    Peggy ·
    At least you know now. I have a friend who’s family pastor forgot and didn’t come to the wedding! She was sitting in her dress waiting and they delayed the ceremony so a groomsman could get ordained. It could always be worse!
  • Laura
    Rockstar November 2019
    Laura ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I may check out Thumbtack- I found my seamstress there so why not?
    But an officiant was so not in the budget. We were going to give my guy $X amount as a gift or donation to his church if he refused the gift. But that wasn’t near as much as an officiant will be.
  • Laura
    Rockstar November 2019
    Laura ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I wouldn’t even know where to find a JOP.

    I couldn’t care less about the religious aspect; in fact the less religious the better.
    Mom mostly concerned about finding someone who’s available and doesn’t have outrageous fees.
  • Laura
    Rockstar November 2019
    Laura ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Now THAT would send me into full blown panic attack!
    FH & I were talking about someone we know getting ordained or becoming a notary (they can perform marriages in FL) and we couldn’t think of anybody that might be willing. Except maybe my one friend who I’m currently pet sitting for-she would maybe consider it.
  • Yam
    VIP September 2019
    Yam ·
    I know it sucks but if you absolutely have to you can make it legal at the courthouse the day before and just have a friend perform a symbolic one.
  • Laura
    Rockstar November 2019
    Laura ·
    View Quoted Comment
    That would absolutely suck! But I think any friend willing to do that would be willing to get ordained and do it for real.
  • S
    Dedicated October 2019
    Stephanie ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Laura, I simply looked up Justice of the Peace near me on Google, and made some calls. In my area there were quite a few and it was a $150.00. You may also try your local court house for a JP.
  • Laura
    Rockstar November 2019
    Laura ·
    Been texting with my Dad & FH. Think we have a plan.
    1. Possibly ask my uncle to get ordained & do the ceremony. He’s performed stand up professionally a couple times and would be comfortable speaking in from a crowd.
    2. My mom has a large network of people that she has access to thanks to her membership in a certain group. I would be amazed if there isn’t someone in her group that can do weddings. A pastor, a notary, whatever. It would then just be a matter of persuading that person to drive 90 minutes each way to do the ceremony.
    3. There’s a tiny chance my close friend, who I’m currently pet sitting for, could be convinced to get ordained. Just not sure she’d agree to speak in front of that size crowd (30ish).

    Or, my original officiant could text me Monday and say everything’s good to go.
  • Jazmin
    Rockstar April 2019
    Jazmin ·
    View Quoted Comment

    WOW that was insane! I'm glad they could get married in the end.

  • V
    VIP July 2019
    Veronica ·
    We looked celebrates in our area rather than someone affiliated with a church. My suggestion is to look up celebrates or officiants in your area and email as many as possible and explain the situation. Hopefully someone will be available in your price range. Best of luck!
  • Trista
    Rockstar September 2019
    Trista ·
    Are you in a state where anyone can get ordained and officiate? My brother was mine and it was so special.
  • Laura
    Rockstar November 2019
    Laura ·
    View Quoted Comment
    We’re not sure. We’re getting our license tomorrow, I’m going to ask the clerk about it. But we’re not sure we’d have someone to do it. My uncle maybe, possibly a friend.
  • F
    Dedicated November 2019
    Fia ·
    As a back up option: If Notories are able to marry you in your state. I would google local notaries in the area you intend on getting married at. Typically you can find a notary and they can 1) let you know if they are available 2) if they have performed a marriage and 3) what they charge. Every state has it's own fee structure of what notaries may charge so you can probably look it up online.
  • Rebecca
    Super August 2019
    Rebecca ·

    Ack! I'm so sorry!

    Everyone else has good advice, I just wanted to be in solidarity with you. DH and I had planned to get married in his church. We did precana, and everything. 3 1/2 months before the ceremony, the priest said he wouldn't marry us.

    We absolutely freaked out. Thankfully, one of our good friends does weddings, including several of our friends', so we were able to ask him. But... oh, that was SO STRESSFUL.

  • Laura
    Rockstar November 2019
    Laura ·
    Thanks ladies.
    I woke this morning to a FB message from a former colleague; her co-worker’s wife is a minister- “a cool one” she says-who does some weddings. I think all things considered I’d rather go with someone a friend knows and trusts than someone off thumbtack.
    Thats not to knock thumbtack-I found multiple affordable options last night when I was on there.
  • Susan
    Dedicated May 2020
    Susan ·

    My dad was a Justice of the Peace, and got a call the day of the wedding that the intended officiant forgot and left town for the week and could he please take a 2 hour drive to marry this lovely couple who were freaking out?

    If you go to your town hall and inquire about the JP, they will give you contact information. It's a civil ceremony they perform, not a religious one, but they generally do it very inexpensively ($50 or less or even for a donation), and it's the most fun part of their job--much more fun than throwing drunk drivers in jail.

    Just some information for you if you need it

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