My name was not included on my boyfriend's wedding invitation

A lot of people here will say it's rude because couples are a social unit. But I don't know that couples situation, maybe they're having a really small wedding?

Did it not even include “and guest”? It kind of sounds like he isn’t getting a plus one to this wedding. If it’s super small I wouldn’t be as concerned about it, it does suck and is kind of rude but there’s not much you can do about it. If it’s a larger wedding and they didn’t give him a plus one then that’s definitely a big faux paux and I would wonder why they did it

It’s definitely rude, but what can you do?

View Quoted Comment Sorry I wasn't very clear. It said my boyfriend's name plus date.

View Quoted Comment Wouldn’t you be the date in that case?

Also if you don’t like them why do you want to go? 🤣

I can see why you’re upset. This is exactly what etiquette exists for, to avoid hurting feelings and creating awkward situations. Sadly many couples today could care less about etiquette. At least you are not being excluded, which would be incredibly rude. I would chalk up this faux pas up to laziness and try to let it go. When the time comes for you to plan a wedding, keep things like this in mind and your guests will be happier for it.

I would try to not be overly offended by them listing you as “and date”. I’ve been listed by “and guest” on wedding invites my fiancé has gotten in the last couple of years

I do think it’s a little rude for not including your name since they have met you. However, at least they are allowing him a plus one. They could have dismissed you completely. It sounds like you are not friends with them (& visa versa), so technically, they were not inviting you, they were inviting your boyfriend. You are just allowed to come as his date. If you don’t like them, I probably wouldn’t attend.

I don't think it's a super big deal if it says your boyfriend's name plus a date. Because you've been dating for a while and met the couple, it is a little weird, but it could be that just the couple wanted to be clear that their alliances are with your boyfriend and he specifically is the one invited to the wedding. They obviously know he'll be bringing you along, but in the event that anything happened to your relationship prior to the wedding they want to be clear that you wouldn't then still be invited and have a separate invitation on your own. I honestly wouldn't get super worked up about it.

FH received a save the date from a friend that is getting married a few months after us and it only had his name. I’ve only met the couple a handful of times but FH and I have been together for 6 years so I figured they just forgot my (very common) name and didn’t take the time to figure it out before sending it out. We sent our save the dates after that and low and behold when we got the actual invite my name was on it.
Could be they just weren’t thinking and didn’t take the time to add that personal touch. At least he got the plus one; would have been worse if he didn’t.

I wouldn't be upset about it, especially if it was typed because then it could be something a system produced. My fiance is a best man next month. I've known the groom almost as long as I've known my fiance (6.5 years) and have hung out with the groom and bride together at minimum once per year (we live in different states or else it would be more). We're all friendly. When I went to RSVP us on their wedding website my name didn't come up, just my fiance's and 1 guest. It's not that they dislike me by any means, they probably just didn't want to program so many names into their website. We need to all calm down sometimes and realize these people are stressed out and usually not intentionally trying to hurt you.

I assume you're going as his date, so you're worked up specifically because your name wasn't spelled out on the envelope? I wish that's all I had to be upset about!

I don’t think this is rude. My FHs step sisters wedding invitation when she got married last year said “FHs name plus date”. FH and I had been together 5 years and we had met up with them when we went back to Michigan.

View Quoted Comment Me too. I would be upset that his friends could not be bothered to know your name, or to ask him if they truly did not know your exact name. This open invite is like saying, we want you there friend Joe, and whoever the heck you want as a date. As though they do not figure he has any commitment to you after two years. People who disrespect you, or people too lazy to be bothered to try to be polite. Sadly, lots of posters say they do this regularly. " It would be too much time to do real SO, and plus ones differently. We sent out invites to the people we knew, and gave everyone a plus one.". Is common here. I read such posts on 2 threads last night. And wondered, how would they feel if they were the person being treated like a non-entity, the warm body they nicely let their "real guest " bring.

Unless you’re engaged, living together or married, they have no obligation to invite you. Sorry to go against everybody.

A couple is invited together, each of them by name. Only the two people involved can decide whether or not they are a couple. So others may have to ask them.

View Quoted Comment Then step sister was rude, or lazy about doing another name, too. She should have recognized you, and sent an invitation in your name. Because someone you know does something that has generally been considered bad manners, does not mean others should follow their lead. It is still considered polite to address people you know as friend's or family's SO, by name. And to take the time to find out the name of everyone's significant other if you invite them to your home, or your wedding. You as hostess, should know their names and titles to introduce them to other guests. To make place cards and seating charts. And to thank them for wedding gifts or hostess gifts they have purchased, or contributed to. ( Random dates are not expected to contribute to any wedding gift, only a token hostess gift.)
So even though someone you know has set an example that it is okay to act like you either don't know or don't care enough to get SO names right, people will think nicer things of you if you extend them that small courtesy.

So I included the name of the significant other if they've been together for awhile but I have a few friends that are in super wishy washy relationships and are constantly on and off. For those people, I said "and guest". This was more so to make it known that they have a plus one in general. Whether they're with their current boyfriend or not, they can bring a date.

My cousin did that to my fiancé (she wrote my name and guest even though we're engaged) and I was super annoyed by it. Some people just don't think about it I guess or don't think its rude, even though it is.