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Dedicated October 2020

My mom wants me invite her closest friends

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Elaine, on July 1, 2019 at 10:46 PM

My mom wants me to invite her closest friends that I haven't seen in probably ten years. I remember some of them but I'm not close with all of them.

My fiance want to keep things small, close friends and family. My mom is also encouraging me to invite my coworkers -- I'm not even a year yet but I am coming up to it. My fiancé's side is not big but being part Filipino, my side is large by default.

I'm wondering what is the etiquette for inviting mom's friends that I haven't personally seen in a decade to my wedding? Same question, but for coworkers?

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23 Comments

Super August 2006
Cassandra7 · on July 2, 2019 at 12:10 PM
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Your fiancé's wishes trump your mother's, unless she's paying for the wedding in which case it's her wedding and she can do what she wants.
I have never understood how people can feel entitled to invite guests to an event of which they are not the host (i.e. paying for it). Or why the actual hosts allow other people to submit lists of potential guests.
Your party; you pay; you invite.
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Master 0000
Judith · on July 2, 2019 at 12:35 PM
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People often make a concession that parents can invite 2 couples, or 4 singles, who are their closest friends even though you rarely have seen them since leaving home, just to give them people to talk to other than relatives. Bragging rights, how proud they are of you. Or some other small number. Then choose only family friends who are also your friends that you have seen regularly for the rest of their suggestions . Particularly if a majority of guests are the couple's friends,and younger relatives .not only someone to talk with, but dance partners.
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Master 0000
Judith · on July 2, 2019 at 12:45 PM
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For co-workers, the usual dividing line is to only invite those you have socialized with outside if work already. Are these people you have invited to your home, or that you would treat to a $50 to $100 per person restaurant meal? Who would likewise invite you out and pay the bill? Or do you often shop, go to movies, or some other activity together? These are social friends. The other category is in a very long term job, maybe you spend half your time for 5-10 years with 1 or 2 people, you consider friends. In between, not usually .
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