My mom vs stepmom

My mom comes first for me. Over my dad. Over my siblings. Even over FI until we actually get married. I would defer to her about stepmom.

@jessica So is your step mom going to sit next to your dad when he sits down and then does your mom also sit next to him?

My cousin sat her mom at the top with her and her husband and his parents. Her dad and his wife sat below at a regular table with other family members. It seemed appropriate

Ask your Mom what she would prefer. If she doesn't want to sit next to your Dad, she should be seated in the front row, and Dad and StepMom in the second row.

I would defer to your mom on that one, just ask what she feels most comfortable with.

I had the exact same situation. My aunt (mom) raised me since I was 6 and my step mom was always a big part of my life especially after I was older and was a big part in helping with the wedding. So I got both of them corsages and stayed away from the mother of the bride stuff so I wouldn't hurt neither ones feelings...you yourself only knows how they will take it just be open with them both and let them know so it's not a surprise the day of.

For me it'll be stepdad, mom, dad, then stepmom all in the front row. All will have corsages and bouts. Stepmom is escorting my widower grandfather. I do have to separate divorced grandparents though.

My parents get along and it's still tough to find a way to include everyone. I'd ask everyone how they'd like to participate in the ceremony (if at all), then make a decision.

I'm in kind of the same boat. I don't think we will do any parents in processional - however, my mom is also ill and it's not fully public knowledge so walking down the aisle may make her extra uncomfortable. I will for sure not be sitting her next to my dad and step mom... they do not get along. I will probably not follow the "sides" rule to accommodate this so that my mom is on one side and they are on the other with my fiances mom. Or maybe sit his parents or my mom's mom in between them on my side.

I would suggest having some conversations with your parents if their relationship is not good. My parents have been divorced for over 20 years now and my dad is on his third wife who does not have anything to do with their split. My mom has never dated and holds a LOT of anger and hate for my dad and his wife. I have (very lovingly and carefully) made it clear that I will not be wrangling my mom and her emotions on the day and she needs to figure out what she needs to be ok and let me know if I can help with that much in advance. I am not going to sit them together at dinner, but they will be in the same room for an extended time and we all need to be able to be adults about it.

I'm in the exact same situation! I plan on giving both corsages but only my mom being in the processional. Stepmom will be seated with my dad but not actually be included in the ceremony. I did go shopping with her for her dress and that meant a lot to her to feel included.