My Mom vs. Alcohol at the Wedding

Then she can leave. So far, she's the one being belligerent.

I explained to her that it wasn't a frat party and everyone attending, that would be drinking, was 30+ years old. She stated that if she was uncomfortable she would leave. I couldn't handle her anymore and got off the phone. I haven't heard from her since. I am not quite sure how to handle this. Any advice?

If she wants to leave, then she can leave.

I find that odd, though. Not to be invasive, but does she have a problem with alcohol? I'm wondering if seeing people drink might make her uncomfortable. Or, alternatively, watching others drink and/or become intoxicated reminds her of your grandfather.

Let her leave. I understand the struggles with alcohol, I have the same problems in my family. You can't have a dry wedding just because a few family members...well you can but it would be in poor taste. They are all adults, and you can't tell anyone how to act. I'm sure with beer and wine they will be fine. A wedding is a celebration, so let your loved ones celebrate! I'm sorry your mom is being like this, but I hope that when it comes down to it, she will suck it up and be there for you.

Sorry you have to deal with this but she is an adult and can choose to leave. You will be so busy at your wedding with your guests that you wont be with her all night anyway.

Unfortunately you cannot control other people's actions. Chances are if people do start getting a bit drunk it will be late in the reception where most of the elderly and children have already left. Your mother does not need to stay all night and will probably be tired. My mother was exhausted and only stayed until about 9:30 my wedding night. The reception ended at 11:30. I was fine with her leaving because I knew that is what she wanted to do. I don't feel like we missed out on any mother daughter time at all. I was busy socializing with other guests and dancing.

She is just worried. It's fine if she leaves if someone gets belligerent or nasty, right? Just tell her you understand her position and move on. No one will get belligerent and nasty, she won't leave, but she feels like she has been heard. I think everyone would leave a social gathering if someone got belligerent and nasty so it's not like her position is super bananas, it just doesn't need to be said.

It's a party. it's what people do.

She is a free woman- she can leave when she wants.

Then she may have to leave. However, I would say that MOST people usually can conduct themselves in a befitting manner of a normal adult and not get too drunk at a wedding. But you never know until the day arrives unfortunately. Hoping everything goes smoothly for you though, and that she doesn't have to leave.

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but it's possible that what she is trying to accomplish is, "Nooooo Mom, don't leave! **cancels all alcohol**". Maybe she's trying to manipulate the situation. Or maybe, she's truly just setting a boundary for herself. Either way, it's your right to set your own boundary. "I'm sorry you feel that way, Mom. If you choose to leave early because you're uncomfortable, that's your right and I understand." Unless people are hammered during your ceremony (obviously super unlikely), she won't miss the most important part.

My grandfather also died due to his alcoholism, so I understand how it can be worrisome to see people drinking to excess, but your mom is being unfair. I would just tell your mom that you'll have to respect her decision to leave, just as you'd like her to respect your decision to host alcohol for your guests.

If she wants to leave, then she can leave her daughter's wedding reception because she didn't get her own way. That will be her burden to bear, not yours.

Tell her there will be a bartender there to manage overconsumption. Then hire one if you don't have one yet. Also I'd call her bluff. Just say that if she chooses to leave early she'll be missed. It kind of feels like she's using emotional manipulation to get what she wants.

Let her leave. I understand her side as to why she do not want alcohol, but this is a celebration with the attendance of adults. So, have your alcohol and enjoy your wedding.

Just tell her if that is how she feels then you accept it even though you will miss her at the reception.