My mom is completely taking over

Is she paying for these things? Are you able to pay for them instead? If you are able to pay for them, it's time to have a talk with her. Unfortunately I think it may hurt her feelings no matter how you word it. But my mom went a little nuts with the planning at first too. She has gone as far as to plan our honeymoon lol! What helped was explaining that FH and I wanted to make these decisions as a couple. I also gave her one very specific job so she feels that she is contributing but is focused on ONE thing.

She is paying for them but I haven't asked her to LOL we had every intention on paying for our wedding by ourselves maybe that's a good idea to give her just a few specific tasks I'm just so nervous because I really don't want to hurt her feelings or come up on grateful because I truly am so grateful and appreciate her I just really want to be a part of the decision-making

Try making it about your feelings and not what she's done. Instead of "mom your doing everything. I wanna plan my wedding." Try.."Hey mom. I love FH and I always dreamed of this day. I really wish I was in with you making these decisions because I'm feeling like its zooming past me. I want to be apart. Right now I feel left out'

In my opinion, she's over stepping. Those are decisions that should be up to you (or both of you), whether she is paying for them or not.

Thanks guys... Its been hard holding my tounge...I feel like I'm gonna pop! I don't mind if she helps..I just wanna do it with her. Maybe it's just time for a sit-down talk with me and her

Definitely time for a sit down. You don't want to hurt her feelings? What about your feelings? She's not just overstepping - she's planning your whole wedding without you. Explain how you feel and how you want to move forward

I had to talk to my mom about a difficult topic too. I was so nervous she was going to be upset. I started the conversation as "Hey do you have a minute to talk" and I sat down with her and started if off as "I don't want this to come off as rude and I'm not saying it to hurt your feelings but ....." and I think Pia has a good option as to how to fill in the rest of that conversation. And like Jane said, maybe just give her one task at a time and just add to it "I really like how pro active you've been but I want to be the one making the decisions. I would like you to bring everything to me and we can decide together" or something around those lines.

Thanks guys! I so appreciate all of the feed back you all are so helpful!

Please let us know hoe it goes!

Tell her you were looking forward to experiencing this time with her? I'm sure this is frustrating for you!

I wish I had good advice for you but my FMIL is being a bit pushy about her "visions" for our wedding, to the point that I'm very concerned she is going to start planning and paying for things behind my back, and I'm not handling it well (I.e. handling it at all). If it were my mom I'd take the previous posters' advice and have a careful conversation with her as she may not realize how she's making you feel.

It sounds like maybe she's attempting to plan HER wedding instead of yours. Let her know she is welcome to be involved, but it's YOUR wedding, you want to plan and there are other people to involve as well. It sounds like she is the one getting married,if she's planned half of your wedding without you already! Definitely tell her how you feel!