My mom doesn't want us to get married. NOOOOOO!

I think I can understand where your mum is coming from. She wants the best for you, and marriage is no bed of roses. Its hard enough as it is to go to school and finish when single talk less of when you get married and perhaps even get pregnant and have kids. Then there are even more distractions and hindrances to finishing school. I am sure that you can do this but its easier to do when you are single with non other concerns than your self. Either way nothing wrong with getting married and then attempting to finish school many couples do this. The biggest issue is the moving in to her place. I am nit sure I would want my child and her husband back in my house after they marry thats why its good to wait but if she's ok with this then thats fine. Finishing school will help you get a good job and create more financial stability. Being a newly wed and living with parents is a BAD idea. you need your privacy with your husband

I'm not sure you're going to like my answer but I agree with your mom. Finish school then get married. If he's Mr. Right then he'll wait. Both of you living with your mom isn't a viable option and it runs counter to stating your independence if you decide to marry anyway. Finish school - the job market is tough these days, give yourself every opportunity to compete in the job market. THAT will set your marriage up for success. Rushing in while living at home with your FI probably doesn't help build the most solid foundation.

We will move out after we get married regardless of what date we choose to get married. I can understand what she is saying now. My mother doesn't live at her house for reasons. So it would just be me and him there. But I don't want to move my FH in without her knowing. It is still her house. I feel we will benefit from living there. I will be able to finish school and graduate and then we will have money saved up for a new place and a wedding. That all depends on if she says "yes". Thank you for responding.

I don't think there's any reason to rush your marriage.

1) You do NOT want to have to live with your fiance WITH your mother, especially if she's not on board with how soon you want to get married. That's going to be an unbelievably stressful living situation.

2) School is not easy to finish, even when you're not trying to save for and plan a wedding. Enjoy your engagement and relationship for now. Wait till you're done with school to start planning and saving.

I assume you're pretty young (correct me if I'm wrong), so there is NO NO NO rush. If he's the right person for you to be with, waiting a while to get married won't end the relationship.

I have to agree with the other ladies. FH is not going anywhere and I would wait. I'm waiting until I graduate from undergrad and I think it's the best way to go. I know plenty of women (smart ones too) who jumped into getting married during school and then dropped out because of the stress of planning a wedding, being married, and trying to keep their grades up. Plus I feel once you get married that you should really be independent and not live with his or your family. Living with your mom as a newlywed just sounds awful to me. It's one thing to need to stay their briefly, but a year is a long time, especially when you're needing to get used to being married and learning how to make things work. Your mom would just get in the way of that.

Thank you Amy. That makes a lot of sense.

Take your time, finish school, save for your wedding, and have it all when you do get married after your graduation. That is my opinion, take it for what it is worth. I think your mom is only looking out for your best interests.

I am 24 I will be 25 when we get married. I love your name Future Mrs R lol. I don't want the stress of that either. Not while I am in school. It was good to get a students point of view.

WOW, where are all the ladies that are in school & will still be when they get married??? I know there's a handful of em on here, or their FH are in school. Anyway, here's the thing. Yes your FH will be there when you're done w school, if he's the one, it doesnt matter when you get married blah blah blah. That's true for the opposite, as well. If you truly believe this is IT for you, how the hell does marriage stop you from school? This is not the old age where we become homemakers after marriage & only live to please our man while he works the fields. Who says you have to stop pursuing school & career? Noone. So if you want to get married while in school, go for it. My opinion - if you have a goal in mind (whatever your in school for) then as long as you keep that goal after marriage, it's all fine & dandy.

@Nafina It's not even so much whether or not she's continuing her education (you're right- whether or not you're married shouldn't change that)- I think that you'll find the majority of brides planning a wedding while in school get VERY stressed out. Even if it's not a huge party- there's a lot of work involved which will take focus away from school.

I know I preferred to not have distractions, personally.

@Future Mrs. R I agree with some other posters that it also might be very stressful to move in all together with your mother- which might be cause for some of her concern- it's not whether or not you can do it... it's whether or not it will be a better choice.

I see both sides... but ultimately think on it a little before you make your decision.

Congrats on being engaged and everything

I probably just dont understand it from THIS point of view, it's opposite for me, FH is the one in school. I have a steady work load, so I really have a good amount of time to plan....

Agreed with Nicole. Planning while in school does get extremely stressful, as I mentioned. This is why after FH and I got engaged in August 2012, we decided to wait until after I graduated my undergrad. We'll have just shy of a 2 year engagement and it really has made planning so much easier. If you're wanting to do some sort of graduate schooling or whatnot I would think it's be OK to get married in between them since there is a nice break inbetween the end and beginnig of the next, but if you're only doing an undergrad degree I definitely think it's best to wait!

Nafina I don't get it either. I think life is honestly too short. I know many who work and go to school. Heck I have four kids that's stressful lol. There are plenty of other stresses in the end it's your choice. However, I am a bit confused about him "paying your bills" it seems if you were married you would have shared bills and if you can go to school now and work I don't understand why you can't continue? I think that having a supporting partner can do wonders for those going to school. It's when people allow themselves to be distracted you don't have to be married to be distracted. This is about her making a choice and sticking to it getting married shouldn't effect that choice. Many people are in school and married all the time. If school is really that important to you then this is something that should not stand in your way.

I planned my wedding and had it 2 weeks before finals and survived. Lol It depends on your schedule. Oh and got all A's. I plan on graduating this spring. So it's very doable.

I am in my final year of college, planning the wedding, working full time, and moving into a new place right now. it is soooo stressful, but it will be worth it. I am not going to lie, if you waited it would probably be easier, but my FH and I have been together for 8 years and were so over waiting

Thank you so much Nafina and all the others that support my decision. I have started planning all ready. He always push me to do my education. He helps me study and do my papers. So he does want me to finish school. He has never told me to stop going to school. I did not think there was a big deal about going to school and being married. If I feel it is too much we can always push the wedding back. I am planning on a day when I am on break from school. If I am not working I will have more than enough time to plan. But I just want my mother to see my point of view as well.

Both getting married in school or getting married after school, is a personal choice. Maybe you should write a Pros & Cons list prior to making a decision.

Do you think that your mother will resent your FH, is you don't wait?

I believe if you put your mind & positive energy towards what's best for you, you won't go wrong.

After you complete your list and after you make your decision, that list will also assist you when you explain your chose to both your FH & mother. Good luck & a BIG HUG

Thank you so much Robin! BIG HIG

2 of my friends planned their weddings while in school and one of them planned her wedding in 4 months. The other in 2 months and got married during finals week. Lol my family is the opposite. They are trying to rush me down the aisle, but I'm going to wait, because its what I want to do. People keep trying to convince me that planning a wedding is stressful, but I must be crazy because I find it relaxing and a ton of fun. My point is... Everyone's experiences are different and as soon as I got engaged people have been telling me what they think I should do, but my opinion about my life, relationship and wedding reins supreme. There is no right or wrong way to do this. I want to take my time planning a wedding. My mom wants me to have the benefits of being a wife right a way since FH and I have lived together for a while. We just have different ways is all.

Just do what makes you happy