My messed up wedding dream

You could try to start contacting them again. Get to know them again. Don’t think negatively about the past. What happened, happened. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment My dad lives in florida. My other sister disowned us cuz she got money now and my mom isnt invited cuz she negative nancy

View Quoted Comment Well, you could call him and start that way. Maybe even a videocall? My mom tend to be a negative nancy too. But from her very rough life, I can’t blame her. She is how she is, and I still respect her as my mom. Your “sophisticated” sister might have a childhood trauma, which cause her that behavior. However, I would still give it a try. Explain everyone that you would appreciate if everyone could be there for your special day.


I have a friend who’s mom and dad divorced and didn’t get along at all. Once the dad arrived at the wedding, the mom hurried and left without saying anything. She was very sad, but at least both were there.

I agree with pp, it sounds like you kind of want a relationship with them again. i think it's ok to try to reach out and if they aren't receptive then hey you tried

You can definitely reach out to your dad and your mom to start rebuilding those relationships. You have a decent amount of time before the wedding, which is good, because it might take some time. I would try not to make it all about the wedding but about putting in the work towards the ultimate goal of having family relationships. Be prepared for them to not be interested or for it not to go the way you want, though. You can't control anyone else's behavior or feelings, only your own.

As far as the wedding itself, I think you'll do yourself a favor if you try to let go of what you think "should be", how you think pictures "should" look, what you consider traditional, or how others should think or feel or act on the day. That is just so unrealistic that you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. For instance, what if your dad agrees to attend but doesn't want to give you away? Or what if your mom attends but doesn't show any emotion?

I wish you good luck with your efforts.

Are you willing to let others play that role? That’s an option. Otherwise, start working on those relationships to see how they go. I wouldn’t offer those roles to your parents yet. Baby steps. They’re not in your life for a reason. They may he open to rebuilding... or not.

View Quoted Comment Im at the point of hiring step in people... Is that real

View Quoted Comment Those without parents, or with none present, often invite someone important to them, a mentor, friend's mom who always made time for them, boss, someone from church. Or an aunt, godmother, uncle, cousin, or long term male friend. Your friends are your own family in the life you lead.

View Quoted Comment Lol, you don’t need to hire people. Even a BFF could give you away. Or a favorite aunt or cousin. Anyone you care about who adores you would be sweet.

View Quoted Comment

Based on everything you've said, I think you should try to create a new "tradition" since it doesn't sound like your actual family members will be changing anytime soon.

I'm sorry you can't depend on your family that way. But you can still create a beautiful memory, and a wonderful wedding tradition to pass along to your future children and grandchildren. Maybe you feel closer to some of your FHs family? Or, perhaps you have some good true friends, who you feel close to like family. If your blood relatives can't get their act together to support you for your dream wedding, then you have to look elsewhere for that love and support! Don't let them drag you down.

There is no guarantee you will get it but If you want a mends be honest Please let them know that you had a dream of your Parents being happy for you and being there for you on your Big day and you want to know how or if that can happen and are they willing to work on it.