Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes July 2022

My Maid of Honor is a dud! Help!!!

Patricia, on April 19, 2022 at 2:40 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

Saved

Flag
Hide content

My MOH and I have been best friends for over 10 years!!!
At the beginning she was very excited!!!
Now we are less than 3 months to the wedding.
She doesn't answer my calls, reads my messages and doesn't respond ( I dont call her every 5 minutes 😄), hasn't helped with anything except for dress shopping which was fun and im very grateful for, dodged me when I asked about us putting together a small inexpensive bachelorette party! I've been planning alot of the wedding by myself which is fine I enjoy planning our wedding. I just want her to be excited and engaged! Other friends and family are having to fill in some of her duties.

I'm super sad and mad because I just want my best friend to be my supportive maid of honor!

Flag
Hide content

9 Comments

Latest activity by Kaitlyn, on April 24, 2022 at 9:42 PM

Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 19, 2022 at 2:52 PM
Flag

Hide content
The MOH isn't responsible for helping you plan the wedding. The couple getting married are the only ones who do that. If anyone offers to help, great, but they aren't obligated to. Also, anyone can throw you a bachelorette party who offers. It doesn't have to be the MOH. The role of the MOH is to wear the right dress and support you day of emotionally.
- Reply
VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on April 19, 2022 at 6:46 PM
Flag

Hide content
Unless you and your MOH have expressly discussed her voluntary involvement in your wedding planning she has absolutely no obligation to help you with anything let alone planning any part of the wedding with you/for you and just because she doesn't do that doesn't mean she is any less excited or engaged than any of your other friends and family are.
Your MOH still has her own life and you need to be realistic in what you expect of her. If she's dodged your questions about a bachelorette then chances are she either is worried she may not be able to afford the costs of it, doesn't have the time to plan it, or simply doesn't want to - and that is totally fine (there is nothing wrong with planning your own bachelorette).
Take a breather and remember, she is your friend, not your wedding planner.
- Reply
Dedicated May 2022
Steph · on April 19, 2022 at 7:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
You can borrow mine (my sister) because she is so mad that I haven’t given her anything to do!
Maybe she feels some type of way and you need to talk to her about something other than wedding stuff? It’s possible she is going through something and doesn’t want to talk to you about it because you are wrapped up in planning. I say this kindly.. you can’t expect her to be a friend to you if you aren’t being a friend to her.
- Reply
Champion November 2054
Jacks · on April 19, 2022 at 7:45 PM
Flag

Hide content
She's not obligated to help you plan the wedding. MOH is a role meant to be an honour for her. The only "duty" is to get the dress and show up on the day of the wedding.
What was it that you think she's meant to be doing?
- Reply
Champion December 2022
Michelle · on April 19, 2022 at 9:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Agree with this. What duties did you spell out to her when you asked her to be maid of honor? Based on your description, she’s not doing anything wrong.
- Reply
VIP September 2020
Willow · on April 20, 2022 at 1:26 AM
Flag

Hide content
MoH is an honorary role, not a free wedding planner and party thrower
- Reply
Devoted August 2022
Emily · on April 20, 2022 at 9:54 AM
Flag

Hide content
I'm not sure why so many brides on here expect their MoH to help plan their wedding. The MoH is only expected to wear a dress and to stand next to you on your wedding, not to be a free planner.
- Reply
Champion November 2054
Jacks · on April 20, 2022 at 2:19 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Ha, yes. It's an epidemic around here. I think it's social media and the wedding industry that drives these unrealistic expectations.
- Reply

Dedicated April 2022
Kaitlyn · on April 24, 2022 at 9:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
My sisters are my co MOHs. The older one is constantly asking me what I need from her, and I’m having a hard time coming up with anything. The younger one doesn’t really ask, but she’s in a different state and is getting married 4 months after I am. I’m honestly just happy to have my sisters up there with me for my big day. Is it wonderful when they offer to help? Of course! But I don’t expect it.
- Reply