Devoted September 2012

My husband does this little annoying thing- is this another version of mansplaning?

The Sealpups, on May 3, 2020 at 4:53 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 13
Let’s say that if there’s new information I’ve found out or news, HE is the one that will tell everyone about it. For example: me: “oh honey, did you know that ‘onward’ will be streaming on Disney plus right now?” And then I’ll continue on about how I found out why his favorite DJ from his radio station quit and how someone close to my family was affected by covid.

Then we meet up with his family that night and Says, “hey did you guys know that onward is one Disney plus! Also, roger quit that radio station because there was creative differences and blah blah blah. And Mary’s uncle died from covid”
Like all his material is from me! It’s probably just me and not sure why but it irks me. (I also asked him if he felt better about spreading the news that my uncle died from covid like a badge of honor bc he can go around and tell his family like it’s gossip of the day and it’s like he’s one step above them bc he knows someone affected and they don’t. Again, I’m probably overreacting but I can’t explain my feelings right now).


Latest activity by Jennifer, on May 7, 2020 at 12:44 PM
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2021
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    Actually this is very common. So common in fact that during the Obama administration, a rule was put in place that any new idea had to be traced back to it's origin i.e show your work. This is because often a woman would present an idea, then later in the same meeting a man would present the same idea as if it were his own. This is not to say he was stealing the idea, it has more to do with how the mind works. Men have a harder time hearing women, they block out the higher voice as background noise. So what happens is the brain processes the information later, therefore becoming an original thought.
    All this to say that no you are not imagining things. However, he may not be aware of what he is doing. You may have to point it out if it's truly bothering you. I do with my FH, once I did he started realizing it himself. Sometimes, literally 5 minutes after I would say something he'd come up with the same brilliant idea. It's also how he 'decided' we should move in tigether. Go figure 😂

    • Reply
  • Alexandra
    Devoted July 2021
    Alexandra ·
    • Flag
    Nope, my fiancé does that too! I think it’s just a man thing. But then again, I’m not too sure. It aggravates me too, sometimes I just remind him that I told him that. And sometimes I just say wow your right babe! Lol. I’m sorry to hear about your uncle. Thoughts and prayers are with you!
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    Wow I thought it was just me. Ugh. I don’t understand it but it annoys me too. I just remind him where he got that info and sometimes he just laughs and says “oh that’s right” and sometimes he doesn’t even remember I told him. Guess it’s a guy thing. Maybe just tell him it bothers you if you feel that strongly.
    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Devoted December 2021
    Natalie ·
    • Flag
    Hmm, I can’t say my FH does this necessarily, I think sometimes it may be ME that tells my family things that he’s told me LOL.
    But, I can justify your feelings over the distasteful “announcement” of your uncle’s passing. I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe your FH said it so his family may give their condolences? Whatever the reason, that’s definitely something that should’ve been kept private or he should’ve asked you if it was alright to say.
    • Reply
  • Sara
    Dedicated August 2020
    Sara ·
    • Flag
    My husband does this, but so rarely. So when I catch him doing it I'll go "hey hun where did you get that information from" and when he cant come up with an original source, I'll be like that's cuz you got it from me! And we usually get a good laugh from it, but it's true hell usually tell me he forgot I was the one to say it but he remembers the info he heard. It can be an honest mistake, but if it bothers you, say something. Dont sit in your feelings until it becomes a huge problem, then it becomes a one sided fight that your husband wont even be aware of 😂 I've done that to myself a couple of times.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    Tell him how you feel. My guess is he probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it (it doesn’t seem malicious or anything). I would explain to him what he’s doing and why it bothers you, and if he doesn’t realize it then maybe come up with a code word and when he’s doing it again you can just say that word to draw his attention to it
    • Reply
  • Belle
    VIP August 2022
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    He might not be aware how annoying that is, until he put his feet in your shoes. Talk about it with him.
    • Reply
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    This is annoying, but I was actually really troubled by your last few sentences. What did he say to you asking him why he wanted to be the one to let his family know about your uncle's death? Were you typing that out because he confirmed that's why?

    Also, when you say "meet up with his family" do you mean on Zoom? I really hope you're not physically meeting with other people during the pandemic.

    Generally, this is annoying and should be discussed more in-depth. My FH will repeat stuff to our friends that I told him (and vice versa) but he always says, "Megan was doing some research, and did y'all know..." as do I. It's not that hard and you should talk to him about doing that.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I don’t know if that’s a guy thing aha because I think maybe sometimes people just say things they hear and don’t quite realize that they’re not crediting the source aha
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    DH does this all the time and I frequently demand social media credit.

    Bonus for the, "Hey did you see this?"
    Me: "Yes, I commented/reacted/POSTED IT."
    DH: "But look!"
    Me: "...I know."
    DH: *noticing I did, in fact, comment* "...Oh."

    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    Oops!! I'm so guilty of doing this! 😳


    If I have a week where I'm busy and just watching my trashy reality TV shows then my husband becomes my only source of news / general pop culture and I find myself frequently sharing things I've only heard from him! I'm actually so bad that I'll tell him things back in conversation - "oh someone told me the other day that xyz" and he'll laugh and shake his head and reply "I told you that. You have to read more news - you need more sources! 😂" It doesn't make him mad, but once I noticed it I become more and more embarrassed and work on it!

    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Super October 2021
    Nicole ·
    • Flag

    I had a friend that would do that and it was so annoying. Usually it was with a joke i'd make..... she'd retell it later to a larger group to get a larger laugh. But she was the type of person that needs to have attention on her....

    I'd just talk to FH and tell him how you're feeling.

    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    I agree, let him know it really, really bothers you. Maybe compromise: the funny joke or pop culture news he can share away, but if it is personal news, you should be in charge of sharing it!

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