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Reana
Beginner June 2021

My friend skipped my wedding and never told me she wouldn’t make it.

Reana , on June 10, 2021 at 2:07 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 26
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Just venting...I’ve been friends with this woman for 10 years. When I first met my husband she’d always ask when the wedding would be. About every six months for four years she’d ask if we had set a date. Well when we finally set a date she was the first person I told because she had asked so much. She seemed excited,she was sending me decor ideas and all. A couple weeks before the wedding she mentions how excited she is. She didn’t attend the bridal or bachelorette. She told me she already made other plans and I understood that. Then I remember the week of the wedding that I did not send her an invitation but I had spoken to her and she knew I was expecting to see her the day of the wedding . A mutual friend told me she would be on a trip the day of my wedding. She never mentioned that she wouldn’t make it to my wedding or anything. So I called her the next day. No answer. I texted,she read it. Posted pictures of her trip, that’s it. So I guess it’s safe to say that friendship is over. What friend knows the entire time they can’t attend the wedding but won’t speak up. One thing’s for sure, you find out who your real friends are especially when you’re planning your wedding.

26 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on June 13, 2021 at 11:05 AM
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Master July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
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    Did you speak to her before or after you sent out the invitations?


    If it was before she probably was expecting an invitation and because you never sent her one, she assumed she wasn’t formally invited.
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  • Reana
    Beginner June 2021
    Reana ·
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    I sent her one on social media because we live very close and we’ve talked about this for months. The week of the wedding I asked if she also received one in the mail and she said no,so I was going to bring her one but I noticed she was giving me really short answers. I believe she had the trip planned the whole time,just can’t figure out why she just didn’t say so.
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  • Alyssa
    Super October 2023
    Alyssa ·
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    Did you have a bridal party? Maybe she was expecting you'd ask her to be in it and was hurt over that. Then add the hurt of not receiving the formal invite. She may just feel as though you don't seem to care as much as she thought. Could have planned the trip to take her mind off the wedding.


    Just want to say: I'm not blaming anyone just giving my thoughts on why she did this.
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    I am guessing when she didn’t receive on in the mail she assumed she wasn’t invited and was a bit sad, so made plans for the day.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    It sounds like she likely made other plans because she never received a formal invitation in the mail which likely hurt her feelings and when you did finally send one her plans were already in place. I have to say this one is on you for not sending her an invitation in the mail sooner.
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  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
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    I agree with this. If I didn't get an invite in the mail for a friends wedding I'd assume she had changed her mind about inviting me.
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  • Reana
    Beginner June 2021
    Reana ·
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    I sent her one online,she just didn’t get one in the mail. My wedding was on the 5th,we talked the 17 and she knew I wanted her to be there. Even after she stopped replying I told her I hope I’d see at my wedding Saturday. She knew she was invited. It’s not like she’s someone I don’t talk to often,she even mentioned how excited she was on the 17th. I feel like it’s more to it than not getting a paper invitation.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Unless something else happened that you aren't telling us then that sounds like the only reasonable explanation.
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  • Reana
    Beginner June 2021
    Reana ·
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    Yeah, that’s the only reason I could think of because we didn’t argue or anything. I’m just really disappointed that a piece of paper could cause her to blow me off on such an important event that we’ve talked about for years. If that is the case it very well is my fault.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I'm sorry this happened, but maybe when she is ready she will reach out to you and you can ask why she decided not to attend.
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  • Reana
    Beginner June 2021
    Reana ·
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    At this point I’m done. We’ve talked about this for years. I’ve always shown up for her with a word of mouth invitation she could have shown up for me or simply told me she had other plans.
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    If you have been close friends with her for 10 years, and she has continuously initiated conversations about your wedding, could it be that she had expected to be a bridesmaid? Maybe she felt hurt when she wasn’t included in your wedding party. Then add to that the fact she didn’t receive a formal invitation.. I’m guessing she was hurt/bitter that she didn’t feel very included, and it made her feel as though the friendship meant more to her than it did to you.
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  • Reana
    Beginner June 2021
    Reana ·
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    Nope. My wedding party was family only. She could very well be bitter about not receiving an invitation. I just wish she could have expressed that having that piece of paper meant more than my words telling her I want her their. I also don’t believe she purchased plane tickets on a whim, I believe she’s had the trip planned for a while already. But I don’t know for sure. Just speculation on my part because she failed to communicate with me.
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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
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    I completely understand that you chose only family to be in your wedding party. However, that doesn’t mean that she wasn’t extremely disappointed that she wasn’t chosen to be in the wedding party.
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  • C
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    I would be really hurt if one of my closest friends forgot to send me an invite. I think that says a lot. And then to receive it via email rather than mail like the rest of the guests would make me feel even less important. Did she even have a way to RSVP? I understand you’re hurt but I think you’re seeing this from the wrong angle.
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  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    A guest isn't technically invited to the wedding until they receive an invitation. Especially if you spoke to her about invitations in your talk about weddings or knew that other people had received them. I don't blame her if she assumed she wasn't invited.
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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    I will say that not sending the invitation kind of makes this more of a ESH situation rather than making her the solely bad guy (or gal).

    It's definitely upsetting, and she definitely could have clarified with you about the status of her invite earlier, but if she didn't get a formal invitation she might have just assumed she wasn't formally invited and made other plans. Did she formally RSVP at all, or was there just a lot of back and forth chatter?

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  • Reana
    Beginner June 2021
    Reana ·
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    Yes,she said she would be at wedding but not the bridal shower and bachelorette because she had already made other plans.
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  • Reana
    Beginner June 2021
    Reana ·
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    Black weddings,the ones I’ve attended I did not receive an invitation. I was told over the phone and I said I’d be there. We had already discussed she would be their whether she had a piece of paper or not.
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  • P
    January 2014
    Pam ·
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    Yup. She thought she wasn't invited and probably took a short trip on the day to try not to think about it.

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