My fix for last minute wedding guest cancellations.

View Quoted Comment I think I would definitely feel better about that. I might feel obligated to bring a gift anyway but that would be on me.

View Quoted Comment There's no "sides", I am just saying I think it's rude no matter who they are. To me it comes off as gift-grabby, and yes they will likely bring gifts. I also wouldn't want people at my wedding just to fill seats, and I don't know anyone who would be ecstatic to receive an invite for that purpose. I would rather have empty chairs and take the food home or donate it than to invite someone last minute and risk coming off as gift grabby or putting them in a weird position.

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I respect that. Clearly, people react differently to this situation and I hope that these invitations didn't offend anyone. Moreover, this thread did bring something helpful to my attention. I didn't even consider the prospect of receiving a gift from these additional people and wouldn't want them to go out of their way to do so. So thank you for bringing that to my attention. At least I can try to make that clear.

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No it do not say anything like that. That's how YOU will take it. Everyone is not YOU.

@GoodMOB, please check with your daughter before you fully consider doing this. I understand you’re half joking and I’m not a complete grouch (h and I frequently volunteer and donate our time and money to the homeless community in our town) but I would not be okay with this at my wedding. It would not fly.

OP - honestly, I think this is different from B-listing. I’ve been B-listed to a friends wedding before and it sucked. If my sister said “hey a few people declined Michelle’s wedding and she said it was totally fine with you coming but don’t bring a gift,” I’d have no problem with it. I certainly wouldn’t be upset or think you were being rude. I’d understand I wasn’t invited the first round because I don’t really know you that well. I don’t think your BM’s parents will see it that way. I think the problem comes in when you extend the invite to people you are actually close with and didn’t invite the first round.

There is nothing wrong with this. I am doing the same thing... I don't care what anyone on this site feel about it either. My friends know the situation and are ok with it, and like me they have no problem telling ANYONE how they feel. The money is spent...mind as well fill the seats. IDC about no gifts either, as I said plenty of times I most likely won't get much anyway and I'm ok with that.

I'm glad you have some people in your life who you can fill those spaces in with. I've had more declines than I expected and I am REALLY regretting not inviting one person in particular, but I can't fix it now, she should have been in the first round of invites.

I'm planning on doing this- not like day-of, but if we get any nos on the RSVPs. It's a Vegas wedding and I have some friends like one of my BM's parents who I was very close to in childhood who know that the wedding is family-only besides super close friends FH and I talk to daily (BMs & GMs), so they wouldn't be offended if I invited them a few weeks before the wedding. Like hey- a free dinner in Vegas! They live in SoCal so it's not that far, a lot of my friends drive up on a weekend whim, anyway.

Yeah I think this is fine based on the way you handled it OP. This happened to my Mom for her co-worker's son's wedding. The wedding was on New Years Eve and they got a bunch of declines, so the groom's father extended invitations to the office (it was a small office). She was really excited that she got to go and said it was one of the most fun weddings she had been to!

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That's how I feel about a few friends as well. We ended up having like a 25-30% decline rate (a good chunk of our guests live across the country) so now that I know I could've extended an invite to some other friends I'm not as close with I'm regretting not doing so. We figured we'd have at least a 20% decline rate, but it's tough because you honestly don't know. I'm like bracing myself for the hurt feelings I know are going to come from these friends, but it is what it is.

I did this as a bride! I invited my hair dresser! (she is also my mom's friend). The trick is to pick someone who obviously knows and understands the situation. She was not offended, she was thrilled to party!

But, how about this... I need some advice--Could I ask someone to be their backup guest?
I really want to attend my coworkers wedding. We are best friends at work, and our husband's have gotten to know each other too. but I know she is keeping it small and not inviting any coworkers. Can I ask to be her last minute backup guest!?

Yeah, my brother has a group of friends that are like his family. There’s no way we can invite them, but if we get a bunch of declines they will be first on the list to be added. They’ll just be happy to party.