My fiance's father getting remarried (no one is happy) do we give a gift?

I understand that the family doesn't seem to be over the divorce yet. But apparently the dad is, so that is something that should be respected by the family. Maybe not understood but respected.

In regards to the presents, maybe talk to FFIL if they need or want anything. I would assume at this time, there is not really anything that they would want or need because they are probably somewhat established. If you will get a present for your wedding is not a given anyways, no matter if you get something for your FFIL or not. That should not be the deciding factor here.

Personally, I am a very harmony seeking person. I would probably get FFIL a small gift.

Emma, I understand completely about him being happy, so that's the bottom line.. but there's a lot more to the story. Regardless, what would be an appropriate gift? He just got a sizeable inheritance so we don't think a $150-200 standard gift would necessarily be appreciated/appropriate in this instance.

Bring a nice bottle of wine, a heartfelt card and celebrate with them to your best and sincerest.

i am in total agreement with jc

As JC said, I would never go to a wedding empty handed. I say get them something and be happy for your FFIL because ultimately thats what he is looking for.

He's a recovering alcoholic so no wine We were thinking maybe going to AC moore or Michael's arts and crafts and seeing if there were any keepsake type things we could get them that would perhaps end up having more meaning than a few dollar bills.

As a child of the groom, I don't think your FH should give his dad cash as a wedding gift. A keepsake gift would be more appropriate, maybe something like a picture frame for their wedding picture. You don't need to spend a lot of money, just pick something to show you are thinking of dad and his new wife.

Try to remember that the gift is not about the monetary value of the gift but the thought/feeling behind it. You would still give him a Christmas present regardless of the inheritance, one does not rely on the other. I agree, a nice picture frame (possibly engraved) would be a fitting gift. There could be other things going on and really, of course the ex wife (aka FMIL) will probably not be ready to move on but she should not be part of the equation at at all. (Nor should you only give a gift so that you receive a gift for your wedding, again they should be separate from one another)

I agree with those who have said to give something other than cash, like a keepsake. Sometimes it's just easier to suck it up and be the bigger person. I think a card and a small gift is appropriate.

You don't give gifts to insure that you will get one in return.

Give something other than cash like others suggested. I know it sucks his dad is getting married so soon..but his dad is happy with someone else now. Does his mom approve of her sons going to the wedding? I could see that as being the bigger issue here rather than whether or not to give a gift.

IMHO, you either go and be genuinely happy, or you stay home. Follow your FH's lead, but I think you are WAY out of line and rude for even thinking about whether your FFIL will give you a gift if you don't give them a gift. Even if you don't go, to show support for his mom or whatever, I think you should send a card. I don't think you should burn bridges with any of his relatives. My mom always says that blood runs thicker than water, so chances are your FH and his dad will reconcile, leaving you in a weird position.

How would you feel if he didn't buy y'all a gift/support you at your wedding, etc. if he didn't like your you?

He's an adult who has made his choice. Yes, he deserves a gift. But since you don't have a lot of money and he does, I would say something thoughtful that he could use - like picture frames for the inevitable wedding photos, perhaps make a coffee basket with mugs and coffee, etc. Something little and thoughtful should be good enough.