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Ashey
Savvy March 2019

My fiancé parents passed, ideas please

Ashey, on July 18, 2018 at 8:20 AM Posted in Planning 0 13
Hi all, I could use some suggestions. My fiancé mother passed away this year 3/21/2018 suddenly. Before she passed we had already set a date and signed a contract to have our wedding date 3/23/2019.
I told him we could find away out the contract, or move date but he does not want to go through that. His dad passed when he was 4 years old, so now it’s just him and his brother.
My questions: I’m learning more about the unity part of the wedding, about candles or sand arrangement, what’s the best way to show our union without incorporating parents?
I know there is a father/daughter dance at reception but is there a mother/son dance suppose to happen? If so should I not dance with my dad? I do want to..but maybe I shouldn’t because it will make fiancé sad..
Since his mother death anniversary is so close to our wedding date..any ideas of a small tribute I can do?

13 Comments

Latest activity by Ashey, on December 1, 2019 at 9:34 AM
  • Jessica
    VIP October 2018
    Jessica ·
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    If your FH wants, he could get personalized cuff links with a picture of his mom.
    My dad passed when I was little so I'm dancing with my mom. But I have seen it done with an aunt, a grandma, or a friend who's a motherly figure. ☺
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  • Soon2Bmrsp
    VIP May 2019
    Soon2Bmrsp ·
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    You could also do a memorial table for them next to the guest sign in so that they're incorporated into the wedding ceremony. I thought I just saw a unity candle ceremony without the parents, so read around because you might be able to do it with just the two of you. There are puzzles, wine, plant ceremonies that you could incorporate just the two of you.

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  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    I've never seen a unity ceremony with the parents, so not having parents to include wouldn't be out of the ordinary. As for the dance, give you FH some time before bringing the topic up with him again. He is the only one who can answer the question of if he wants a special dance and who with.

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  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
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    I would ask your fiancé what he would like to do. My fiancé wants to dance with his grandmother. If he didn’t want to do that, I would probably ask him if he minded if I still danced with my father.

    We’ll be placing a long stem rose in an empty chair in front for his mom during the ceremony.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I've only seen unity ceremonies without parents, so I think any ceremony you do should just be you and your fiance. I would also ask your fiance about the dance and see how he feels. Does he have an aunt he could dance with, or your mother if they are close? We are doing a nice table for our grandparents that have passed. Maybe you could include something from her wedding in yours too if they have anything from it?

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  • Aidan
    Dedicated February 2023
    Aidan ·
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    I would still do the father daughter dance but you can find ways to incorporate his mother.

    I love this image because it would show that they are close to his heartMy fiancé parents passed, ideas please 1

    you could also do a table and/or have a seat reservedMy fiancé parents passed, ideas please 2

    If he has any family such as a grandmother he could do a dance with her or skip the dance all together. I've been at many weddings where there wasn't a special grooms dance.

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  • A
    Devoted July 2019
    Ally ·
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    Does he have a sister, aunt, grandma or another mother figure to dance with? Can you two begin a dance and have your father cut in to dance with you to alleviate any sad feelings ? It might also help if you pick a more upbeat song to dance with your father to OR create a song that you can all dance to together... like a funky song. Include him of you're going to do it...it will make it easier
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  • J
    Dedicated July 2020
    Julia ·
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    Hey girl, how did it go at your wedding? I’m in a very similar boat with both of my fiancé’s parents passed. It is literally just his brother left. No extended family at all :-(
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  • Ashey
    Savvy March 2019
    Ashey ·
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    Hi Julia the wedding went great! I gave him personalized cuff links on wedding day. I also had a memorial table for all our lost loved ones. His friends and family made sure he enjoyed himself that day. I would just make sure you pause from wedding planning and make sure he is ok. I think I sometimes got so wrapped up in all the planning I didn’t find time to pause and really see how he was coping.
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  • J
    Dedicated July 2020
    Julia ·
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    Thank you so much for responding 🙏🏼 I’m sooo happy it was an amazing day for you both. What a great point, I will absolutely make sure I do that bc you’re so right. I can see myself getting so excited and so checking in with his emotional state throughout the process is so important ♥️
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  • Ashey
    Savvy March 2019
    Ashey ·
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    Thank you! You two will have the best day! Best of luck Smiley smile
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  • J
    Dedicated July 2020
    Julia ·
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    Thanks girl!!! 🥰 I love the cuff link idea and maybe the pictures of his parents in the inside of his jacket too 🤔 did you give him the cuff links the day of or before that?
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  • Ashey
    Savvy March 2019
    Ashey ·
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    We did a first look and while that was happening we exchanged gifts and that’s when I gave him the cuff links. But either way would work Smiley smile
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