My fiance is doubting our marriage and almost called off the engagement during our last argument.

My fiance and I dated for about 2.5 years and just got engaged this August. We were planning to get engaged earlier this year, but we had to postpone because my father passed away in April. My fiance asked for my father’s permission to marry me at the hospital. Obviously there’s been a lot of tough times we had to go through leading up to and after my father’s passing. It took some time for me to get back to somewhat normal, and finally, I felt that i could be happily engaged to the man that protected and kept me safe during the toughest time.


It was all great when we first got engaged. Once we started planning, I began to do almost all of the planning. My fiance started making excuses for not doing certain tasks I assigned him (which were very minimal). I began to feel frustrated and unloved - does he even want this? We argued over the wedding planning a few times over the last couple months. Last weekend, we fought very big about the same issue, and he dropped the bomb on me. He said he’s having doubts and is second guessing our marriage.
Since then, I have sat down with him every day asking what his concerns and doubts are. Some are valid concerns and then there was a lot of “what if”s. Our conversations involved many tears, but overall, I felt that we still very much loved each other. We agreed to starting couples therapy.
But I am still deeply hurt and sad. Every time I talk about the wedding, he seems very cautious and doubtful. I can’t tell if it’s cold feet or it is a red flag. I feel like now I’m starting to doubt whether I can trust this man. He wants to pause the wedding planning. I am getting resentful because he was not interested in helping wedding plan at all, and now he wants to help cancel or postpone things. I don’t understand how he could’ve asked my dying father for his blessing, and a few months later, he wants to possibly call off the engagement. I don’t understand how he talks and acts like he loves me so much, but he is still doubtful. Finally today I stormed out of our conversation because I couldn’t handle his doubts and I felt very insecure and unsafe. I am not excited for this wedding anymore, and I don’t know if there is a way to heal from this. I was trying to control my emotions all week but I feel defeated today. I don’t know what I am asking but does anybody have any comforting words?